Revelations
by Hank's Lady
Summary: Written from Jacob's point of view, beginning with a startling revelation from Quil which eventually leads to confusion and heartache as the pack begins to form.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:- I don't own any of the Twilight characters, I'm sorry to say - all belong to Stephany Meyer and I am merely borrowing them for this story.**

**NOTES - As with my other Twilight stories, I'm rating this M for language, violence and sex of the SLASH variety. Don't read if it's not your thing :o) **

CHAPTER ONE

I had spent virtually my whole life in La Push so far; the whole of my fifteen years. I even went to school on the reservation and only escaped into Forks on rare occasions when Dad drove over there to visit Charlie Swan, the chief of police and one of his closest friends. I would go along to help him in and out of the truck with his wheelchair and for a change of scene. It had been just Dad and me since I was nine when Mom died in a car accident and since then I'd had to grow up fast and help take care of him when his diabetes landed him in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. Sue Clearwater would come over a lot to help out and make sure we weren't living on microwave dinners and take out, but mostly it was just the two of us and that had a lot to do with me never going anywhere. Dad was always telling me he was fine and I should get out and do things with my friends, but I always felt guilty when I did go off for any length of time.

My two best friends were more or less in the same boat in that their world was La Push and not much outside of it. Quil, my cousin, lived with his Mom and Gramps after his Dad died in a storm when he was a little kid. His Mom had always been over-protective so he spent as much time as he could over at my place to escape her constant nagging at him. She wouldn't even let him have a bicycle in case he fell off of it and scraped a knee or something.

Embry, the other member of our trio, was something of an outsider. He was born in La Push, but he was Makah, not Quileute like the rest of us. His Mom had left her tribe and whoever Embry's Dad was before he was born and turned up on the reservation looking for a job and a home. They were accepted, although a little grudgingly. A lot of the kids picked on Embry for not being 'one of us' so Quil and I had sort of taken him under our wing from the first day when we all set foot in school at the age of five. The three of us had been as thick as thieves for ten years after that; usually if you wanted to find one of us, he wouldn't be far from the other two. Then somehow during the summer break of 2005 something changed.

I was out in the old shed behind the house working on a broken down old Volkswagen Rabbit Dad had given me. I had loved fixing anything mechanical from an early age and one day this old car had arrived on the back of a trailer from a scrap yard - a project for me, Dad said. He never had much money and he wouldn't have been able to buy me a decent car, so he picked out a junked one instead. If I could get it running by the time I turned sixteen and got my permit, I would have my own wheels, was his idea. Quil and Embry had laughed their asses off when I showed them my new car, but I loved the rusty old heap with its burnt out wiring, blown engine and flat tyres. I figured I had seven months to fix it up and I knew I could do it.

That Saturday I was out there as usual from eight in the morning, oily, greasy and sweaty, my hair tied out of my face in a tail, when Quil turned up to hang out with me. He was on his own.

"Hey," I said, glancing up. "Where's Embry?"

"My company not good enough?" he grinned. "He's busy."

"Doing what?"

"I don't know," Quil said, looking down at the ground. "He...uh...he just said he's got stuff to do."

I shrugged and bent back over the car. This was the third time in the last week Embry had been 'busy'. I looked up at Quil again and found him staring at me with a slight frown on his face.

"What?"

"Nothing."

I straightened up. "Come on, what's going on? The pair of you are being weird. Embry is never 'busy'. You know something, don't you? Since when did any of us keep stuff from each other?"

"I promised not to say anything," Quil blurted out and then reddened. Now I knew something was up.

"Quil..."

"Embry'll kill me," he muttered.

"Fine. Don't tell me. I got better things to do than worry about some stupid secret of Embry's," I grumbled.

"Jake, it's not stupid. He's just worried you'll not like it. Think less of him, maybe." Quil shoved his hands into his pockets and shuffled his feet.

"Oh, for crying out loud, are you going to tell me or not?" I demanded. "What could he possibly do that would make me think less of him? And if it's that bad, how come you know about it?"

"He's gay," Quil said quickly and turned even redder.

"Oh!" I could feel my eyebrows creeping towards my hairline and my mouth hanging open. I snapped it shut quickly. "This is kind of sudden."

"Not really, he said he started to realise last year, he just tried to pretend it wasn't true."

"Well, it makes no difference," I said. "He's still our friend, right? What's he think I'm going to do? Tell him to drop dead or something? Or to stay away from us?"

Quil sighed heavily and avoided my eyes.

"There's more, isn't there?" I said. "Come on, you might as well just spit it out. You know you're going to eventually. Surely it's better I know, then Embry can stop worrying about nothing."

"He likes you," Quil almost whispered.

I stopped breathing for a few seconds. What was he telling me? Embry had the hots for me or something? How did that happen? My guts clenched and I wasn't sure how to respond. I could suddenly understand why Embry was avoiding me. I thought about the previous day when he and Quil had both been hanging around. I don't think Embry had looked at me once and a few days before that, the temperature in the shed had been stifling. I peeled my shirt off while I was working and Embry had given me this really weird look...almost like he had seen something he wanted to eat.

"Oh, bullshit," I spluttered. "Where'd you get an idea like that?"

"He admitted it. I told him you wouldn't care if he's gay and he kind of blurted it out."

I could feel heat flooding my face and I turned away from him and poked at the car again for a minute. How the hell was I ever going to face Embry again knowing he liked me...like _that?_

"I shouldn't have told you, should I?" Quil said. "He made me promise not to."

"I suppose I'll get used to it...or ignore it or something," I grunted. My ears were turning red; I could feel them burning. "Look, Quil, I'm pretty busy too. Maybe you should go hang out with Embry today instead."

"Yeah, ok. I'm sorry," Quil said.

"Don't be. I'll see you tomorrow."

I didn't turn around and I heard him walk out a few seconds later. I stood up again and clenched my fists. How the hell had things changed so fast? Two weeks ago, the three of us had been hanging out like we always had and nothing had seemed weird. Suddenly Embry was..._eyeing me up_...and avoiding me because he didn't want me to know and now I _did_ know. What was I supposed to do with a revelation like that? Ignore it like I told Quil? Pretend nothing had changed? Talk to Embry about it? Hell, no!

I sighed heavily. Maybe I should just bite the bullet and talk to him. He must be feeling pretty uncomfortable if he was making excuses to stay away from me. We had been best friends for ten years. But what in hell would I say? I didn't even know how I felt about it; not really. I'd been so obsessed with cars and bikes for as long as I could remember that I hadn't put much thought into girls - or boys for that matter. Now knowing someone liked me, I had to admit that I wouldn't have felt much less uncomfortable if it had been a girl; I still wouldn't know what to do about it. It was only that it was _Embry_ of all people. Someone I practically grew up with.

"Fuck!" I shouted at the shed and flung the wrench I was holding at the wall. I should stop thinking about it, I told myself. Maybe it would just go away.

I spent the rest of the day working on the car alone, blasting out my CD player with rock music as loud as it would go so that my head vibrated with the noise and I had to concentrate hard on what I was doing. It left no space in my mind for thinking. When I finally returned to the house I ate dinner with Dad and then sat watching a couple of lame television shows with him, much to his surprise.

"Where are Quil and Embry today?" he asked. "You three are usually joined at the hip."

"They had other stuff to do," I grunted. I quietly hoped they would have stuff to do tomorrow too. Suddenly I didn't think I would even know what to say to Quil if he were to appear at that moment.

"I take it you didn't make plans for tomorrow?" Dad said.

"No."

"Good. Charlie invited us over to watch a ball game. You know his daughter, Bella, moved back here? I'm sure she'd be glad to see you too."

"Oh, great!" I said, probably a touch too enthusiastically. Another day where I could put off the potential embarrassment of seeing Embry. I knew I needed to just grow up and stop making such a big deal out of it, but if I could delay it by another day so much the better.

Dad grinned. "Getting bored with the Rabbit yet?"

"Never, but it'd be good to go into town again, see someone different."

I went to my room later and called Quil.

"I'm not going to be around tomorrow, I'm going into Forks with Dad," I said.

"Are you sure you're not just avoiding running into Embry?" asked Quil. "I knew I shouldn't have said anything, but you can damned well get blood out of a stone."

"It's not that, really," I told him. "Charlie Swan invited Dad over to watch a ball game, he just told me. Why don't you come over Monday? Embry too."

"Sure, ok."

We chatted a little longer and then I decided to get an early night. I didn't really think I would sleep, but I was dead to the world within minutes and barely moved all night, waking up in the same position I had laid down in. Right after breakfast we were heading off to Forks in the truck and I looked forward to spending the day with Bella. I hadn't seen her for years when she used to visit from Phoenix in the summer and now she was back for good apparently.

Dad and Charlie spent most of the day chatting, fooling around and then watching the ball game. Bella and I went and wandered around Forks for a while, then sat in her room listening to music and talking some more. She was about two and a half years older than me and had been enrolled in Forks High School already. I found myself staring as we talked, taking in every little detail about her. She was pale - astoundingly pale for someone who had been living in the desert - with long glossy dark hair and brown eyes. She had a nice figure, I noticed; very slim, but well-formed, shapely legs squeezed into skin-tight jeans, a strappy top clinging to her small breasts. I guessed I would say she was pretty. Did I fancy her? Maybe a little bit. I wondered if there was something wrong with me for being more interested in getting my hands on an engine than a girl.

"Stop it," she said suddenly.

"Stop what?"

"You're staring." She blushed and looked down at her hands.

"Sorry. I was just thinking you look a lot different from the last time I saw you."

"I should hope I do, I was about six then."

I laughed. "You look really pretty."

"Thanks." She raised her head again and smiled. "Don't go getting ideas, though, I just want to be friends."

"Oh, I wasn't, friends is cool," I said at once.

"I'd be surprised if you haven't got a girlfriend already, or several," Bella grinned suddenly. "You didn't turn out so bad yourself."

I snorted a touch self-consciously. "I'm just ordinary."

"I don't know, I think you're sort of beautiful."

"Bull," I scoffed. "The sun must have fried your brain, all those years in the desert." But suddenly I couldn't help wondering if that was what Embry saw when he looked at me. Did he think I was sort of beautiful? I shivered. I had to do something about that; talk to him. It wasn't awkward talking to Bella about such things, so why should he be any different? Probably because she wasn't the one who liked me.

The rest of the afternoon flew by and all too soon Dad and I were leaving Forks and heading back to the reservation. Bella had promised to come over some time and hang out with me and we swapped phone numbers. I knew I would enjoy spending more time with her in the future.

The following morning I was in the shed early again as always, beginning to strip down the Rabbit's engine when Embry turned up - alone. He looked pale, eyes ringed with shadows as if he hadn't been sleeping too well.

"Hey, Embry." I swallowed, my throat suddenly dry and told myself to behave normally, whatever that was.

"Hey." He shoved his hands into his jeans pockets and looked down at me.

"Where's Quil?" I asked.

"In bed. His Mom got some dodgy take-out last night; they're all sick as dogs."

"You don't look so hot yourself," I said and then frowned. Hot? That wasn't the best choice of adjective.

"I'm just tired." He sat down on the ground cross-legged on the opposite side of the engine which was positioned on blocks in front of me. "You want any help?"

"Sure." I passed him a socket wrench. "There's a bunch of bolts over that side that need to come out." I reached over and indicated.

"You know you're probably going to still be working on this in ten years," Embry said.

"No, I won't. I'll have it going by Christmas." I turned my attention back to the bolts on my side. I was suddenly tense and my heart was skipping unevenly. I wished I could think of something to say which would get the awkward secret between us, which wasn't a secret any more, out in the open. Much to my surprise, Embry spoke himself after maybe ten minutes. I guessed he must have been even more nervous than I was.

"Did Quil say anything to you the other day?"

"About what?"

"Me."

"He said you were busy."

"Nothing else?"

"No. Should he have?" I glanced at him over the top of the engine. His head was down, his long hair falling forward over his shoulders, partly hiding his face.

"Well, I told him something, but he's got a big mouth, I thought he mightn't have kept it to himself."

"What did you tell him?" I stared fiercely at the socket wrench in my hand, suddenly not sure which way to turn it to loosen the bolt.

"I'm...uh...I wasn't going to tell you. I don't know, I suppose I thought you wouldn't want me to hang around any more if you knew. But I don't feel like I can be myself any more." He took a deep breath and let it out in a rush. "I'm gay."

I peered over the top of the engine again. He was staring back at me with wide eyes, looking like a terrified animal caught in the headlights of a speeding vehicle.

"That's no big deal, Embry, you're hardly the only one," I said as casually as I could manage. What else was he going to say?

"Really? You don't care?"

"No, of course I don't care. How long have we been friends? Do you really think you...um...batting for the other team makes any difference?"

"I guess I'm being stupid." Embry grinned suddenly. "It's not something that's easy to tell your friends."

"What did Quil say?" I asked.

"The same as you, more or less. Except I kept worrying afterwards that he'd go and blab to everyone. My Mom would probably kick me out if she knew."

Little did he know that Quil had indeed blabbed. I had no intention of telling Embry that, although I still worried about what he was going to come out with next. Would he indicate he liked me at all? And what the hell would I say if he did?

We spent the rest of the day together and after only a short while it became clear Embry had no intention of saying anything else. He seemed to be back to his usual self, teasing me about my heap of a car, laughing about nothing. For a time everything he said and did had me over-analysing it, wondering if there was some hint in it that he did actually feel something for me, but there was nothing at all and I couldn't help wondering if Quil had made that up, or exaggerated it. But why we would he even do that? I resolved to stop dwelling on it. The most important thing was that Embry had cheered up and was relaxed in my company again and with the subject out in the open, so was I.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

It was another couple of days before Quil recovered from his food poisoning. I called him that night to see how he was doing and told him what Embry had said to me.

"You didn't tell him I said anything, did you?" he groaned.

"No, of course I didn't."

"Good. Hey, look, I have to go, I'm gonna puke for about the hundredth time today."

"Nice, Quil, I really wanted to know that," I grimaced. "See you soon."

I hung up quickly. I didn't see him or hear from him again until Wednesday and until then I spent every spare minute working on the Rabbit, with Embry helping. Things were a little different between us, but I knew that was more to do with me than him. He seemed the same as he always had before he'd started trying to avoid me, although every so often I would see him looking at me when he thought I was too busy with some part of the engine to notice and if I turned my head and caught him, he would drop his eyes quickly and pretend it had been an accident, or say something really random as if he were trying to draw my attention away from it.

After a while I found myself beginning to think about the stupidest things. I kept thinking about Bella, how she looked and how I felt about her and then looking at Embry and comparing things. His hair was much longer than Bella's and it kept falling in his face and getting in the way of him working, but he didn't tie it back, he would just tuck it behind his ears or flick it back over his shoulder. Bella had brown eyes and so did he, but his were darker and wider. He had this kind of quirky smile that would appear really quickly and then vanish and he would bite the edge of his lower lip instead. I knew I never would have even been noticing any of these things if the last couple of days hadn't happened, but him suddenly saying he was gay had made me wonder what I was exactly. Fifteen was kind of late to realise you hadn't ever really taken a fancy to anyone so did I like girls or boys, or was I just so late to develop that I liked neither yet? Or both?

"What's up?" Embry asked suddenly.

"What?"

"You're miles away."

"Oh...um...I was thinking about Bella," I blurted out. At least that was the truth.

"Bella Swan?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, you like older women?" Embry teased. He gave that quick little smile and then his face fell and he bit his lip.

"She's just a friend, that's all," I said at once and then kicked myself. Wouldn't it have been easier to let him think I had the hots for Bella? Somehow not hurting his feelings had seemed more important than keeping him at a distance. I grimaced and told myself to stop being such an idiot. If only I could have continued being blissfully ignorant.

Finally by the time Quil reappeared I had managed to relax again, convincing myself that I was only being stupid, that I should concentrate on the car and stop trying to force myself to look one way or the other. Just because I wasn't fantasising about some movie star or someone like Quil always seemed to be doing didn't mean there was anything wrong with me.

Eventually the summer came to an end and we reluctantly returned to school. My efforts to restore the car were restricted to evenings and weekends, although Dad wouldn't let me set foot in the shed until my homework was all done. However, the engine was rebuilt and back in, the wiring replaced and most of the other mechanical parts fixed so I had already made enough progress to have me on track to complete it by Christmas as I hoped.

Much to everyone's surprise, Quil turned into the unlikely stud out of the three of us, beginning dating a girl from some of our classes within a couple of weeks of school starting. She was quite well known for always having guys hanging around her and Quil delightedly reported that he had slept with her by the first week in October. Two days later, he had a face like thunder and admitted reluctantly that she had broken up with him, but he seemed to get over it pretty quick. Embry and I watched with amusement over the next few weeks as he dated half a dozen different girls, most of them either sluts or the rather less attractive ones who were probably desperate, but his antics gave us plenty of fuel to tease him with and he didn't seem to care how much we ragged him. His view was that he was having as much fun as he could find the time for, while the pair of us spent our time single and covered in oil and grease.

It was the November beach bonfire party that changed all of that. It was a Saturday night and Quil and Embry came over to my house around six o'clock to meet up with me before we all went. Dad had already given me a lecture, saying he knew there would be alcohol there and he didn't mind me having a few beers, but if I staggered home in the morning out of my mind drunk there would be trouble and I would be grounded until Christmas. It was the first year I'd even been allowed to go to the bonfire and I was determined it wouldn't be the last, so I promised to behave. I took a shower, put on jeans, shirt and leather jacket, pulled the sides of my hair back from my face into a half tail to stop it blowing into my eyes all night and annoying me and then waited for the other two to turn up.

Quil was dressed similarly to me - cargo pants, shirt and jacket. Embry hadn't bothered with a jacket and I privately thought he would be freezing by the time we had spent an hour on the beach. Quil had a rolled up rug under his arm to spread on the damp sand and we all walked down there, the glow from the bonfire already visible as we approached. We made our way down to the sand, spread the rug out in a suitable spot close enough to the fire to feel the heat and then Embry stayed there while Quil and I went to the barbeque someone had set up and bought several burgers and hot dogs.

A truck was parked not far from us, its stereo blasting out dance music and another truck was filled with crates of beer, the owner selling bottles for a dollar each. Quil went and bought three and brought them back to us, but it wasn't long before he spotted a girl he liked the look of and abandoned us.

"He is turning into such a whore lately," Embry said.

"Yeah, but have you ever seen him with anyone really decent?" I grinned. "He's only getting away with it because he's picking on the desperate ones."

"I don't know, beauty's in the eye of the beholder."

"I think it's more to do with beauty being in the one with the loosest panties where Quil's concerned." I finished the bottle of beer I was drinking and stuck it in the sand beside the rug. "Do you want another?"

"Yeah; thanks."

I got up and went over to the beer wagon and grabbed another four bottles. They were disappearing at a rate of knots and we would probably be out of luck in another hour. I threw myself back down on the rug next to Embry and passed him two of the bottles. We sat there drinking and shouting at each other above the sound of the music for a while longer, until suddenly Quil appeared alone and kneeled down in front of us.

"Have either of you got a condom on you?" he asked, grinning stupidly.

"Are you kidding? Do you actually think I keep them on me just in case?" I frowned. "God, Quil, if you're going to go and have sex with someone at every opportunity, why don't you go out prepared?"

He just shrugged and grinned wider, glancing at Embry. "What about you?"

Embry shook his head and even in the dim flickering light the fire was affording I could see he was going red.

"Damnit," Quil muttered.

I glanced around me and spotted Paul Lahote and Jared Cameron not far off, standing together drinking beer and laughing. They were in some of our classes at school and I knew them a little, but I would never have called them friends. Paul had a vile temper and Jared was the complete opposite - shy and a bit intimidated looking. Paul always had a bunch of girls following him around and I wouldn't have been surprised if he was keeping Trojan in business. He and Jared usually hung around with Sam Uley, a guy three years older whom most people seemed to be scared of. In fact I'd go as far as to say they followed him around like two devoted pets, although there was no sign of him tonight.

"Why don't you ask Paul?" I suggested, nodding my head in his direction.

"Yeah, right." Quil pulled a face. "He'd probably punch me or something. He's a total badass."

"Don't be stupid," I said.

"Why don't you ask him?" Quil raised one eyebrow. "Come on, Jake, please? I'll owe you one."

"If I go asking Paul Lahote for condoms, you're going to be owing me for the next six months," I sighed.

"Please? Come on, this girl, Lucy, is well up for it."

"You're a slut, Quil," Embry smirked.

"I know," grinned Quil.

I hauled myself to my feet without a word and began to head towards Paul and Jared, wondering what on earth I was going to say to them. Damn Quil, but I knew if I didn't ask he was just going to sit there whining all night about his missed opportunity.

"Hey, Paul...Jared," I said.

"What do you want, Black?" Paul grunted and gulped some of his beer. Jared just eyed me curiously.

"Um...I don't suppose you have any...um...condoms I can borrow," I said. Borrow? Jesus. "I mean buy. Obviously," I stammered.

Paul's eyebrows lifted and suddenly he roared with laughter. "First time, is it?" he snorted.

"Oh, not for me...for...um...Quil." I knew I was going red and I silently cursed Quil and my own stupidity for agreeing to ask.

"Oh, yeah?" Paul glanced over my shoulder at Quil and Embry in the distance. "Found another desperate no-hoper, has he?" He laughed again. "Just so happens, I have some spare." He dug a hand into his pocket now and pulled out two small square packets. "Here. No charge, just this once. But you'll owe me, Black, I'll call it in some day."

"Thanks," I said, taking the condoms from him and wondering what on earth I was going to owe him. I didn't like the sound of that one bit. I turned and went back to the others, shuddering as I heard Paul and Jared both laughing loudly behind me.

"Well? Did you get one?" Quil asked eagerly as soon as I sat down.

"I got two. Here." I shoved them into his hand. "Go on, get out of here."

"Why don't you keep one? You never know," he grinned.

"I do know. Take them."

"Thanks, Jake." Beaming, he got up again and hurried away to wherever he had left the girl.

"God, that was embarrassing," I said to Embry.

"You didn't have to agree to go and ask them."

"I know, I'm just a sucker for someone begging a favour."

We didn't see Quil for the rest of the night. We sat listening to the music and drinking our beers, gradually becoming a little tipsy and finding everything funny. I didn't even notice that Embry edged closer to me at some point until his arm brushed against mine when he moved. The wind caught his hair and blew it across my shoulder and when I glanced at him he seemed to be going to great efforts to not look at me. Over the past couple of months I had barely even thought about him apparently liking me, but now I was reminded of my confusion during the summer and I wasn't sure whether I should stay where I was or move away, but that would be kind of obvious and probably just make him feel awkward. I didn't move, but reached down to grab my beer again. He did the same and the back of his hand knocked against mine. His skin was ice cold.

"Hell, Embry, you're freezing!" I exclaimed. "Why didn't you bring a jacket?"

"I don't know, I wish I had now." He grinned sheepishly and lifted the bottle to his lips, draining it in a couple of gulps. He licked his lips and lowered his eyes as he put the bottle down again. His hair blew into his face and he brushed it away and tucked it behind his ear. Then he pulled his knees up in front of him and wrapped his arms around them.

'Stop looking, for God's sake,' I told myself. 'What's wrong with you?'

I sat there not knowing what else to say for a few minutes, staring at the fire and occasionally squinting at Embry out of the corner of my eye. He looked like he was shivering and I wondered why he didn't suggest calling it a night so he could go home and get warm. Still, the La Push bonfire was like some kind of rite of passage amongst the kids on the reservation. Once you were old enough to be allowed to go, you stuck it out until the bitter end, come what may. I wasn't particularly thrilled about spending the next six or seven hours on the beach either, but I wasn't going to take off home and be teased about it on Monday.

I reached behind me and grabbed the edge of the rug, lifting it up behind us and draping it around Embry before I could think about what I was doing. As I tucked it around him my hand touched his shoulder and before I could slip my arm free from where it was now caught between him and the rug, he reached up and rested his hand on both the fabric and my wrist, preventing my escape and other than push him off or wrench myself free, there wasn't much I could do about it. I sat still, my heart hammering, holding my breath. Shit. Now what?

I pulled the other end of the rug up with my free hand to cover myself, thinking I might as well be warmer while I suffered with a gut full of nerves. Then I grabbed my last beer which was already half empty and sipped some more. My head was feeling pretty fuzzy and I didn't seem to be able to string any coherent thoughts together, so I simply sat there, gazing at the fire and listening to the music while Embry did the same. We probably didn't move for about an hour and then it was the beer rapidly making its way to my bladder which made me shift. I pushed the rug off my shoulders and drew away from Embry, lurching to my feet quickly and heading for the dunes. I probably should have said where I was going, but somehow I just didn't. I began to wish I hadn't drunk so much. Three beers was nothing really, but since I'd only tried it a couple of times in the past I suppose they were ample to affect me quite badly.

I emptied my bladder and turned to go back to Embry, wondering for a second if I should maybe just go home. I couldn't help thinking something was going to happen and I wasn't sober enough to decide if I wanted it to or not.

"Jake? Hey..."

I realised I had almost walked past him and I halted quickly. Well, it was too late now.

"Where did you go?"

"For a pee." I sat down with a thump next to him. "Damn, I drank too much." I heard myself laugh.

"Me too. Back in a minute." He got up and disappeared in the direction I had come from.

My head was spinning from the moving about and I thought if I just lay down for ten minutes, I'd feel better. I leaned over sideways until I lost my balance and flopped onto the rug. The part my cheek landed on was warm and I pressed my face into it. God, I was never going to drink again. My Dad was going to kill me. Or at least ground me until Christmas like he promised. I didn't even notice Embry come back. I could dimly hear the music banging away and a jumble of talking and laughing from the partying crowd; then I guess I must have fallen asleep or passed out.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

When I opened my eyes some time later it was still dark. The music was off, the fire was burning low and the only sounds were the crackling of the embers, the lapping of the sea at the sand and low voices talking. I was warm, wrapped in the rug and lying mostly on my back, my arm stretched out and trapped underneath something. I could feel another body resting against mine, hair against my cheek, hot breath on my throat. I moved slightly and the body beside me stirred, warm lips brushed my neck, then my jaw. I shivered.

"Jacob..."

I knew it was Embry even before he spoke and my heart began to bang against my ribs as if it meant to burst out of my chest. 'Do something,' I told myself. 'Push him away, get up or something. He's probably still drunk; doesn't know what he's doing; dreaming maybe.'

His lips touched my cheek and then my ear; soft, warm, moist, coaxing. I turned my head towards him even as I tried to talk myself out of it and my lips touched his, clinging, caressing. My first kiss and somehow I didn't even need to think about it; it was instinctive to move my lips against his, slide my tongue out slowly, to tease and taste his mouth while my heart thumped wildly and my blood raced through my veins. He whimpered softly into my mouth and slid his arm up around my neck, pressing himself closer to me and I put my hand on his waist, thinking I would push him away, but then just slipping it around his back and holding him tight.

I did pull away after a few long moments of breathlessness and then pressed my face into his neck instead, trying not to let myself think. I was too confused. I _liked_ kissing him and I didn't want to stop, but at the same time it was scaring the hell out of me. Did I like guys then? Or was it just him? Maybe it was me who was still drunk and didn't know what I was doing. Or maybe it was...I didn't know what it was. My heart was still pounding and he was still in my arms, his hand on the back of my neck under my hair, his mouth pressed against my ear now, warm breath making me tremble. The only thing I did know was that right then I didn't want to back away; it felt too good. And I just wanted one more taste of his mouth before I pulled myself together.

I pressed my lips against his neck a little way below his ear. I could feel the pulse there under the skin, strong and rapid and I nipped gently with my teeth, hearing his breath hiss out suddenly and a soft moan escape him. I lifted my head up and looked at him for a second. His eyes were closed, long lashes resting on his cheeks, his lips parted slightly as if he was waiting for me to kiss him again. His arm was still around my neck and he raised the other one now and slid it around me, shifting onto his back and pulling me down towards him. I lowered my face towards his and closed my eyes again, my mouth covering his less tentatively this time. His lips moved eagerly against mine and I plunged my tongue in, exploring and tasting, feeling him running one hand through my hair and then touching my face as he kissed me back.

I was excited, more than I'd ever been in my life, but still concerned that I wouldn't have been doing this if it wasn't for the beer and that I was only going to regret it later. I pulled back again after another minute and slid onto my side, breathing deep and trying to calm myself down. Embry turned towards me and snuggled close, his hand resting on my chest. He must have been able to feel how hard my heart was pounding and I did my best to relax. It took a while, but eventually I guess I must have done. Despite my nervousness, the warmth and fuzziness from the lingering alcohol in me made me begin to drift into that state halfway between sleeping and waking and then I realised Embry had fallen asleep, holding onto me as if he never meant to let go. I began to slip out of consciousness again and as I dozed off I thought vaguely that if Quil came looking for us now he was going to get a hell of a shock. Then I was asleep.

It was just past dawn when I woke again. Embry was still sleeping in my arms although he had turned over and was curled up with his back to me, his face mostly covered by his hair.

'Oh, shit.' My face began to burn with embarrassment and I edged away from him carefully, sliding my arm out from beneath him an inch at a time and hoping he wasn't going to wake up. 'What the hell have I done? I kissed Embry. And liked it!'

He didn't wake and I slipped out from the folds of the rug and got to my feet, looking around me anxiously. No one was watching, thankfully. Probably a dozen people were up and about, gathering up empty cans and bottles and the remains of food into plastic sacks. I couldn't see Quil anywhere and much to my relief there was no sign of Paul and Jared either. I glanced guiltily at Embry, still asleep, and then tiptoed away quietly to the dunes to take another pee. Then I made my way back to help out picking up trash. A girl I didn't know handed me a sack and I started gathering up bottles, trying not to think too much.

'I am never going to drink again,' I thought. 'It makes me do crazy things. I never would have kissed him if I was sober. Or maybe I would. Who knows? Maybe I just needed something to take away my inhibitions.'

"Damnit!" I growled aloud.

"What's with you?" Quil's voice came from behind me and I almost leaped out of my skin.

"Uh...nothing...fucking hangover," I grumbled. Surprisingly I actually didn't have a hangover. Maybe I hadn't drunk enough for a hangover. Only enough to make me kiss Embry. My face began to heat up again and I turned my back to Quil and grabbed another bottle.

"Oh, they suck, don't they?" Quil said. "How was your night?"

"Alright," I grunted.

"What did you and Embry do? Just drink and pass out?"

"Yeah. That about sums it up." I wished he would shut up and leave me alone.

"Where is Embry, anyway?"

"I don't know. Still asleep probably."

'Godamnit,' I thought. 'Don't ask where we slept.'

"You two are so boring," Quil said. "Don't you know the bonfire is for getting laid? I made the most of it!"

"Yeah, I'm sure you did."

"Lucy is awesome," he went on. "You'll never guess what she did!" He proceeded to regale me in vivid detail on Lucy's extraordinary flexibility and various other things, which I did my best to tune out until he had finished.

"I'm sure she'd be delighted to know you're telling your friends all about it," I commented.

"Oh, she wouldn't care. She was telling me all about..." Off he went again, about Lucy's previous exploits, following me around as I gathered up trash, apparently convinced that I was dying to hear about it all. He finally got to the end of it about ten minutes later and I almost sighed with relief.

"Are you going to help with this?" I asked, indicating the sack.

"I guess." He picked up a bottle and dropped it into the bag, then shoved his hands into his pockets and watched me. "Maybe I should go look for Embry," he said.

"No need, I'm here."

I looked up and my heart immediately jumped into my mouth. I met his eyes briefly and he gave me that quick little smile which vanished in a second, then began chewing his lip. He appeared as nervous as I was and I had no idea what to say to him. Luckily I didn't have to say anything. Quil launched into another description of his night with Lucy and I escaped, hurrying down to the shoreline to grab a handful of bottles before the tide sucked them off the beach to litter the sea.

By the time I had filled the sack and tied a knot in the top, the truck which had been selling the beer was rolling slowly along the sand, allowing everyone to throw their trash bags into the back. I took mine over to it, tossed it in and then looked around me. Quil and Embry were some distance away, still talking. I was tempted to just leave, but I knew it was cowardly so I walked over to them.

"Hey, I'm going to get off home," I said. "Dad will probably start worrying if I'm any longer. I'll catch you guys later, ok?"

"Sure," Quil said at once. "I should go and face the music anyway; Gramps told me to be back by eight or else."

Embry's eyes found mine again and I noticed he looked hurt. He must have thought I couldn't wait to get away from him and in actual fact that was the truth. I was more than a little embarrassed, especially with Quil standing there with us and I wasn't sure if I regretted kissing him or not. Would I have done it without the beer? If I hadn't been half asleep? I had no idea. I needed to think about it. I dropped my eyes away quickly and then turned to go.

"See you." I set off up the beach and neither of them followed me. I quickened my pace and headed for home, somehow hoping that Quil's Gramps and Embry's Mom weren't going to let them out again for the rest of the day. I needed some time to myself.

Dad was eating breakfast when I got in and he eyed me up and down for a second, then smiled.

"Well, you don't look as bad as I expected," he said.

"I said I'd behave," I reminded him. "I had three beers," I continued honestly. "And I won't be doing that again. I was up half the night peeing."

Dad laughed. "It can do that to you. How about Quil and Embry?"

"They didn't drink much either," I said, deciding it wise not to tell him Quil disappeared and spent the night with some girl none of us knew.

"That's good. Do you want some breakfast?"

"Um...not really," I said. "I'll just have some juice."

I poured myself a glass, drank it quickly and then headed for the shower. I was still tired, but I knew I wouldn't get any sleep now even if I tried. I decided to go out to the shed and work on the car; maybe blast some music and hope that I would be left alone.

An hour later I was out there working on the suspension, listening to a Buckcherry CD. Usually I liked more bluesy type music, but rock suited my mood right then. I felt confused and irritable and repeatedly tried to tell myself there was no problem in what had happened with Embry. We both had a few beers and kissed; why was it such a big deal? Only because it was probably going to make things really awkward between us, maybe even spoil our friendship. I had no idea what I would say to him now and he probably felt just as uncomfortable. My hasty escape from the beach had obviously upset him and he must think I regretted it. If only I was sure one way or the other how I felt, but I didn't have a clue.

I had no interruptions for a couple hours and I continued working and playing music, trying to get my head straight and failing. I just kept going over and over the same thoughts and getting nowhere. Eventually I began to feel hungry and went back to the house to grab a sandwich. I was just finishing it when a truck pulled up outside and a minute later Charlie and Bella were at the door. I let them in and realised I had never been so glad to see anyone in my life. I threw my arms around Bella and lifted her off her feet in a bear hug. When I set her back on the ground she was laughing.

"Gosh, Jake, did you miss me or something?"

"Um...just pleased to see you," I said. "I was working on the car; do you want to come out to the shed and chat?"

"Sure, ok. Maybe I can help. Pass you tools or something? Dad's going to be busy with Billy for a while, he brought beer and a DVD of some old ball game from years back."

"Exciting." I pulled my jacket on again and led her back out to the shed.

"So...Dad said you were going to the bonfire," Bella said as she sat down on a stool I indicated which was close to the part of the car I was working on.

"Mmm...yeah."

"How was it?"

I wondered if I should tell her. She was my friend and I guessed I could probably trust her. She had confided in me after all. She had been dating Edward Cullen for a while; one of the weird clan who lived in the woods. There were five of them, all adopted and four of those dating each other. I didn't know much about them, other than that Dad and some of his friends didn't like them and wouldn't say why.

"I did something stupid," I said.

"Oh? What was that? If you got drunk and threw up everywhere, it's not that stupid. From what I heard, everyone does that."

"Well, I got drunk, kind of, but I didn't throw up," I said. "I...uh...kissed somebody I probably shouldn't have."

"You kissed someone. That's all? You worry too much. Is she somebody else's girlfriend or something like that?"

"No."

"So what's the problem?"

"She's a..." Was I actually going to tell her? Well, I felt like I had to tell someone. "...a he," I finished.

"You kissed a _boy?_" Bella's eyes widened. "Are you gay, Jake?"

"No! I don't know. I had too many beers."

"Is he gay?"

"Yes."

"Anyone I know?"

"Don't ask me that." My face began to burn and I avoided her eyes. Why the hell had I started talking about this? I should have kept my mouth shut. Now she was going to ask lots of questions I didn't know the answers to and probably get more out of me than I wanted to tell her.

"Ok, so does he like you?"

"I'm pretty sure he does, yeah."

"And how do you feel about him?"

"I don't know!" I cried. "I mean, we've been best friends for like, forever, but..._shit!"_ I stopped with a groan and covered my face with my hands. 'Why did you say that, you idiot?'

"Best friends? So it's Quil or Embry? Well, Quil's your cousin, not that it would really matter...but this girl at Forks High, Jeanie, says she had a thing with Quil a few weeks ago and he's apparently jumping from one girl to another so...it's Embry?"

"Yes," I said through my teeth. My face grew hotter than ever and I could only imagine I was as red as the checkered shirt I was wearing.

"Well, don't be embarrassed about it with me, Jake, you can talk to me about anything," Bella said with a smile and reached over to squeeze my arm. "Did you like kissing him?"

"I don't even want to think about it."

"You'll have to at some point. What are you going to do? Avoid him? If he already likes you, don't you think that'll hurt him?"

"I expect so." I could see his face in my head when I said I had to get home and took off as fast as I could. He was already hurt.

"What's the worst part of it?" Bella asked me. "The fact that he's a boy or that he's your friend and you're worried about your friendship if something happens between you?"

"I don't know, I'm just confused about the whole thing," I said. "I never really thought about either girls or boys until the summer when he suddenly said he was gay. As pathetic as this probably sounds, I never even kissed anyone before so I have nothing to compare it to."

"That's not pathetic," Bella smiled. "I didn't kiss anyone until last year and I'm eighteen now. You should just take some time to think about it; maybe see how you feel the next time you see him. The only thing you can do is talk to him about it; he's probably feeling as confused as you right now."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

The idea of talking to Embry didn't fill me with delight at that moment, but I supposed it was the only way to deal with it. However, another thought had occurred to me, stupid as it probably was. I knew it was stupid; completely messed up in fact; but maybe if I kissed a girl I would have some clue if I liked guys or girls better. I knew I was probably going to earn myself a slap, or a severe telling off at the very least, but once the idea was in my head I couldn't stop myself.

I leaned closer to Bella where she sat on the stool in front of me, rested my hands lightly on her shoulders and kissed her. Her lips parted, but I think it was more with a gasp of shock than a response. I continued anyway, covering her mouth more firmly with mine and caressing her lips even as her hand thrust against my chest in protest. In those brief seconds I noticed everything - the taste of her lips and their softness, the sweet smell of the perfume she was wearing, the silky brush of her hair against my cheek - and I felt nothing. I didn't feel the excitement I felt when I kissed Embry and when my heart rate sped up it was only with fear that I had taken a gigantic step across a line that would probably ruin the friendship I had with her.

"Oh...um...sorry, I'll leave you to it."

I jerked back quickly at the sound of Embry's voice, just in time to see the completely crushed expression on his face before he turned away from the open door and walked off.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

"Oh, shit," I muttered.

Bella catapulted to her feet, her face red and angry.

"What the hell is the matter with you, Jacob?" she cried. "I thought we were friends! I was trying to help you, for goodness' sake! And you...what..._experiment_ on me? Is that what that was?" She planted her hands on her hips and glared at me.

I jumped up quickly, mortified. As if I hadn't made enough of a mess of things already, now I managed to upset both Bella and Embry in one single stupid moment.

"I am so sorry, Bella," I grovelled. "I really am. I don't know what's wrong with me. Actually, I do. You're right; I thought if I kissed a girl, maybe...oh God, I don't know what to say, other than sorry, again. I'm an idiot. Can you please try to forgive me?"

Bella sighed heavily and stuffed her hands into her pockets.

"I suppose I can, because I'm your friend and I know you're screwed up right now. But don't ever think about doing anything like that again. I have a boyfriend. And I'm not a toy for you to play around with while you try to work out what you like or don't like."

"I know. I'm sorry," I said again, hanging my head.

I was an asshole. I was only surprised she hadn't hit me. I would have hit me if I'd been her. I probably would have hit me if I was Embry too. I groaned aloud and leaned against the car. I wanted to run after him, but I didn't know what to say to him. I couldn't think of anything that would make him feel better about what he just saw. Except maybe the truth and that would just be too awkward.

"So...did it actually tell you anything?" Bella asked me.

"What?"

"Kissing me. That was the point, wasn't it? To see if you liked it better than kissing Embry?"

I cringed. I couldn't even use the excuse of the beer this time.

"It didn't do anything for me," I confessed. Glad as I had been to see her a little while ago, now I just wanted her to leave so I could go and hide in my room and die of embarrassment.

"Well, that's a relief; at least you're not going to start stalking me or anything," Bella joked, then straightened her face. "Look, you're just going to have to get over yourself and talk to Embry. Presumably you want to sort this out with him."

"Yeah, but he's hardly going to want to listen to me, is he?" I sighed, looking back at the open door. Damnit. He had looked so hurt and I hated that it was me that had done that to him.

"Just leave it for a while," Bella said, sitting back down on the stool. "And try to think about something else in the meantime."

Yeah, I was really going to be able to do that. I dropped down to my knees to continue working on the car and was actually glad when Bella started talking about the Cullens. It didn't take my mind off my problems, but at least it gave me something else to think about at the same time.

She stayed with me until Charlie appeared in the late afternoon to say he was ready to go back to Forks and then we said goodbye and I went to my room and shut myself in. I picked up my cellphone and stared at it, wondering if I should call Embry. At least if I called him I wouldn't have to look at him. Then again he might not even answer and then I wouldn't know if it was because he wanted to avoid me or his phone was off or something. I scrolled down my list of contacts and stared at his name, my thumb hovering over the call button before I snapped the phone shut again. My heart was pounding and my palms were sweaty. I had no idea what I could say to him. I wasn't even sure what I wanted to achieve by talking to him. Make him feel better? Make _me_ feel better? I remembered what it had felt like kissing him and I knew suddenly that I wanted to do it again.

The phone rang and vibrated in my hand and I jumped so hard it shot away from me and landed at the end of the bed where I was sprawling.

"Oh, shit," I whispered, staring at it at as if it might leap up and bite me.

It continued to jingle and twitch around on the quilt insistently and after a few more seconds I reached over and grabbed it. Embry's name was showing on the screen. I hesitated another moment and then answered quickly before I could change my mind. Just get it over with.

"Hey," I said, sounding somewhat strangled.

"Look, Jake, I know you probably don't want to talk to me right now after last night and...what happened since." He paused and I heard him gulp. "So I'm gonna make it easy for you. It was nothing, you know...fooling around after too many beers, that's all. So just forget about it."

"Em..." I felt awful. He sounded as upset as he had looked earlier and yet he was letting me off the hook, trying to save my feelings. I hated myself.

"Let's just leave it at that," he added before I could say anything else.

"Embry, I'm sorry," I said.

"Yeah, me too. I'll see you soon. Bye." He hung up before I could continue, although I didn't know what I would have said exactly. 'It wasn't a mistake? Can we give it another try?'

"Ugh!" I threw myself down again and buried my face in the pillow. If anything, I felt worse than I had before and I had no idea how to put it right.

Eventually I had to drag myself out of the room when Dad called out that dinner was ready. He had heated up some frozen lasagne and I picked at it half-heartedly, my stomach in a knot. I had always been hopeless at hiding my feelings and it took Dad about two minutes to ask what was wrong with me.

"Nothing, I must just be tired," I said. "I didn't sleep very well on the beach."

He stared hard at me, but then only suggested I get an early night and left it at that. I was back in my room by eight. I opened up my laptop and checked my messages. Half a dozen stupid spam emails and nothing more. I considered emailing Embry for about thirty seconds, which was as long as it took to convince myself it was a bad idea. He didn't want to talk to me; he'd made it clear enough he wanted to forget anything ever happened.

I put the computer away and went to bed. I spent a restless night, tossing and turning, dozing for short periods and then waking up, still anxious. By the time I got up to get ready for school I felt like hell and thought about pretending to be sick, but I knew if I put off going for another day I would only feel worse by Tuesday.

I left the house at eight-twenty and began to walk slowly in the direction of the school. The route took me past Quil's house and he always waited until he saw me and then came out to walk with me. Embry was usually there too and my legs started to feel weak with nerves as I headed down the street, but when I got closer to the house only Quil came out. My heart sank and I frowned. I was horribly disappointed not to see Embry.

"Hey," Quil said. "Embry's not going to school today."

"Why?"

"He's pretending to be sick."

"What makes you think he's pretending?" I asked, my guts clenching as we started to walk down the road.

"Wild guess. What happened at the bonfire exactly?"

I glanced at him in horror. "What do you mean? What did he say to you?"

"Not a word, but something obviously went on. He's a mess. I saw him last night and now you're acting all weird and guilty."

"I kissed him," I blurted out and then squeezed my eyes shut for a second and cringed. 'Why the hell did I say that? Couldn't I at least keep _that_ to myself?'

_"What_?" gasped Quil. "Why would you do that? You know he likes you."

"I was drunk!" I cried, furious with myself for letting my tongue go flapping away without thought. I walked slower, staring at the ground in front of me and Quil matched my pace.

"That's no excuse. I don't go around kissing guys just because I've had a few beers; you must have wanted to."

"Look, Quil, just leave it, will you?" I begged. I could see myself losing both my friends over this, the way things were going. I was lucky I hadn't lost Bella as well.

"No, I won't leave it. Both you and Embry have been my friends practically my whole life and I don't want to see you fighting, or avoiding each other, or whatever the hell it is you're doing. So what else did you do other than kiss him? You must have done something because he looks like someone died."

"I kissed Bella," I said with a sigh. At this point I didn't think I could possibly make things any worse by finishing the story. "And Embry saw."

"Oh, you stupid jerk," Quil said. I glanced sideways at him and he was glaring. "I thought she was seeing someone?"

"She is," I groaned. "She was mad as hell."

"Have you spoken to Embry since?" he asked, shaking his head, probably in disbelief.

"I tried. He called me and told me to forget anything happened."

"You know he's only saying that to make things easier for you, right?"

"Yeah. Which makes me feel even shittier."

"So what are you going to do about it?"

"Hell if I know," I mumbled.

"Maybe you should work out what you actually want; that might be a start," Quil said.

"I know what I want," I said under my breath. I wanted to make things right with Embry, somehow. I wanted to grovel, tell him I was jerk, that it was him I liked, wrap my arms around him...

"Jake! Jesus!" Quil yanked on my arm, dragging me sideways out of the path of a truck and I looked at him in shock. "Get a hold of yourself," he told me.

"I'm trying. I'm...I'm not going to school," I stammered.

"Great. I suppose I'm going to have to cover for you, am I? What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to see Embry."

"Don't," said Quil. "Leave him alone. You'll only fuck with his head even more than you already have."

"What is leaving him alone going to achieve except to make both of us feel like shit even longer? I can at least talk to him; try and explain, or something."

"Well, good luck. Don't be surprised if he doesn't want to talk. You know what he's like; he'd rather brush things under the carpet than deal with them."

"Yeah, so would I usually, but I've got to try. I'll talk to you later."

Quil just shrugged. "Suit yourself. I have to go, I'll be late."

I stood still for a minute and watched him continue towards school alone, catching up with some other kids. Paul and Jared appeared and seemed to be teasing him, each giving him a shove and laughing. I pulled my tie off and stuffed it into my jacket pocket, then turned away and set off in the direction of Embry's house. His Mom would already have left for work by now so he should be alone.

It took me about five minutes to get to Embry's house and I noticed his Mom's car was missing from the drive so she had indeed gone to work. I stepped up onto the porch, shaking with nerves.

"Get a grip, for God's sake," I said aloud.

I reached up and punched the doorbell before I could think about it any longer and then waited, chewing my lip and hoping he wasn't going to ignore me. Two or three minutes passed and the door didn't open, nor did I hear any sound. I rang the bell again and almost held my breath. Maybe he had seen me through the window and didn't want to talk to me. Damnit.

"Come on, Embry," I muttered. A moment later the door swung open.

"Jacob!" He was wearing jeans and a sweater, his hair wet indicating he had been in the shower. He looked pale and his eyes were tired as if he hadn't slept well; just like me. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I wanted to talk to you."

"You'll be late for school."

"The hell with school."

"Look, I'm not feeling too good; didn't Quil say I was sick?"

"He said you were pretending to be sick," I said, trying a smile.

"Damn him." He sighed heavily.

"Can I come in? Please?"

"I don't know, I'd rather just be alone right now."

"Please, Em," I begged.

"Ok," he said after a short pause.

He stepped back to let me pass, then closed the door and led the way into the living room. He sat down at one end of the sofa, his back against the arm, feet up on the next cushion and arms folded. I didn't really know much about body language, but I knew his was telling me to keep my distance. I sat down at the opposite end of the sofa and dumped my school backpack on the carpet next to me, then shrugged out of my jacket.

"You know you'll probably get detention for skipping school," Embry said.

"I don't care. It's more important that I talk to you since I fucked things up so badly," I blurted out.

"Didn't it occur to you that I might not want to talk about it?" Embry said. "I did tell you to just forget it."

"Yeah, I know." I dragged a hand through my hair and avoided his eyes. "But I was a complete jerk and I wanted to explain."

"You don't have to. I get it. We were drunk, sleepy, I started it and I shouldn't have done. You didn't know what you were doing and then you kissed Bella to convince yourself it was only the beer. It's fine."

"It's not fine," I said at once. "And it wasn't like that at all."

"So what was it like then? Are you seeing Bella?"

"No! She's got a boyfriend. One of those weird Cullen guys. She was pretty pissed at me for experimenting on her."

"What?" Embry's eyebrows rose.

"She's just my friend, that's all. I told her what happened at the bonfire because I was freaking out about it and that's the only reason I kissed her; to...um...see if it felt any different. I know that was a pretty shitty thing to do, to both of you."

I got up suddenly and shifted myself onto the next cushion until I was almost sitting on his feet.

"I'm really sorry, Embry," I added.

He unfolded his arms and rested his hands on his knees instead, his head down.

"So, did it feel any different? Bella compared to me?"

"Yeah; I didn't feel anything with her," I said honestly.

He looked up and met my eyes, licked his lower lip and then sank his teeth into it. I remembered how I had felt kissing him and I longed to do it again, but I wasn't going to get near him, the way he was sitting. I hesitated briefly and then lifted my hand and rested it over one of his instead. He just stared back at me and then after a moment he turned his hand over slowly and his fingers curled around mine. Then that little quirky smile appeared and I smiled back, squeezing his hand tighter, enormously relieved.

"So what now?" I asked.

"Let's just leave things like they are for the moment," Embry said. "You don't really know how you feel, do you?"

"I do," I protested.

"Please, Jake."

"Ok. Anything you want." Right then I would have agreed to anything if it made him happy. I never wanted to see him looking the way he had when he saw me kissing Bella again.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

I spent the rest of the day with Embry. He had said he wanted to just stay friends, so that's exactly what we were. Things were hardly any different from how they had been before the bonfire. We watched some trashy daytime television, played computer games and raided the freezer at lunchtime for frozen pizza and icecream.

The only difference was that when I left at three-thirty with the intention of getting home at the same time that I would have if I'd been at school, I gave him a hug. I couldn't help myself. We were standing in the hallway talking about going back to school tomorrow and I reached out to pull the door open to let myself out. Then on the spur of the moment I let go the handle, turned back and wrapped my arms around him. For a second he didn't move and then his arms slid around me and he hugged me back, his face pressed into my neck. I could feel his warm breath on my skin and my heart began to thump rapidly. I imagined myself kissing him again, but I just held him tighter for a moment and then backed off. He thought I didn't know what I wanted and I guessed if I did anything after he asked me not to, he'd think I was still experimenting.

"I'll see you tomorrow," I said with a smile and let myself out.

I walked up the drive grinning and when I reached the street Quil was just approaching. His face took on a look of surprise when he saw me and he halted at once.

"You've been here all day?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"Is Embry ok?"

"Yeah. We talked, it's fine."

"Oh! Well, I guess that's good. So what are you exactly? Friends? Something else?"

"Friends," I said firmly. "Are you going to see him?"

"Yeah, but I thought he was going to need cheering up."

I shook my head. "What did I miss at school?"

"Nothing much. Peters was sick so we had a temp take math and she didn't know what the hell she was doing. Biology was that frog dissection they were talking about on Friday and about four kids couldn't stomach it and left, so nobody missed you. English, I said you were sick and that your Dad called and left a message for Peters." He smirked at this point, obviously thinking himself incredibly witty. "We have to read Chapter 6 of 'Hamlet' for homework, but that's all. You got off easy."

"Great, well I better get home. If I read the chapter, hopefully Dad will be none the wiser."

"You are too lucky," Quil grumbled. "I can never get away with ditching. I'd have a week of detentions and Gramps would find out and ground me for a month."

I just laughed. "See you tomorrow."

Things continued as they always had for another couple of weeks with the three of us hanging out together all the time. I kept wishing I could get some more time alone with just Embry, but whenever I went over to his house Quil was there and with a sudden absence of girls in his life, he constantly planned things for the three of us to do on the weekends if they weren't hanging around the shed together while I worked on the car. It was beginning to frustrate me because by then I was certain, without a shadow of a doubt, that I did like Embry. In fact I found it difficult to keep my eyes off him and I had begun noticing every little detail; how long his hair was - almost to his waist - and how soft it looked; the fact that his eyes were the colour of dark chocolate, but with curious flecks of gold in them; the way his lips moved when he spoke; the fact that he seemed to be developing muscles in his arms and shoulders without even working out, unless he did it in secret in his room.

I was always worried Quil would catch me looking at him and say something, but I couldn't stop myself; it was as if he was a magnet and my eyes were iron filings. I didn't care that Embry noticed - he would often look up and find me staring at him and then smile at me, which only made things worse because it seemed like maybe he would have let me get closer if only there was an opportunity.

It was the second weekend in December when I decided enough was enough. I had been toying with the idea for a week and talking myself out of it, thinking he would just say no, but unless I went ahead and asked I would never know and he might even say yes.

The three of us had been hanging out after school with it being Friday and I got home at nine-thirty. Quil had left Embry's house at the same time I did, so I knew he would be alone now. I chatted to Dad for five minutes, then went to my room and pulled out my cellphone to call Embry. He answered on the first ring, as if he had been holding the phone.

"Hey, Jacob," he said softly. "Did you forget something?"

"No, I wanted to ask you something without Quil listening in," I said, suddenly terrified. My hands were so damp I almost dropped the phone and I wiped first one on my bed and then the other.

"Sorry; I'm sure he's been doing it on purpose."

"Yeah, he probably thinks I'll behave like a dick again if he doesn't keep an eye on me," I joked. Embry laughed.

"So what did you want to ask me?" he prompted.

I almost lost my nerve and made something stupid up. He was going to say no; I just knew it.

"I wondered if you wanted to...um...go to the movies or something...tomorrow," I blurted out.

"What's on?" Embry asked.

Shit. He was going to say no. He was just waiting for me to come out with a couple of movie titles so he would have the excuse of saying they sounded crap.

"Uh...'Derailed', 'King Kong'..." I said and restrained myself from adding 'Brokeback Mountain' which I'd read about - two gay cowboys romping in the mountains. My face began to turn red at the thought. Asking Embry to go out with me was one thing, but I didn't think sitting there watching two guys getting it on during our first date would be anything less than embarrassing.

"I saw a trailer for 'Derailed', it looks ok," I added.

"Are you asking me out, Jake?" said Embry.

"Yes," I said and then held my breath. 'Hurry up and say something, for God's sake,' I thought.

"Ok. What time is it showing?"

"Um...about seven, I think. We could get the bus into Forks."

"Cool. I've seen the trailer too, it looks pretty good," Embry said.

I heaved a huge sigh of relief. He said yes and I felt ridiculously excited.

"What about Quil?" he asked suddenly.

"What about him?" Surely he didn't think I meant for all of us to go? He asked if I was asking him out, so...

"What do you want to tell him? Anything? Or shall we just make something up about what we're doing?"

"Oh...um...maybe tell him some other time," I said.

"Ok."

I chatted to him for a few more minutes and then hung up. I caught sight of myself in the mirror on my wardrobe and saw I had a stupid grin on my face that I couldn't seem to wipe off. At last I would have him to myself for an evening and I just couldn't wait.

Somehow I managed to sleep that night, but the minute I woke up my stomach filled with butterflies and my heart began to pound. The worst thing was that the plan for the day was for Embry and Quil to come over and help me work on the Rabbit, which apart from the paintwork was almost finished now. I just wasn't sure how I would get through seven or eight hours without letting on to Quil that something was different. I would just have to try and not look at Embry too often.

They turned up a little after nine and I was already in the shed, fitting some secondhand seats Charlie Swan had managed to get for me, which were in much better condition than the ones I had removed from the car. Quil parked himself on the stool to watch and pulled out a bag of sweets to munch on. He could always be relied upon to watch us work and stuff his face rather than get his hands dirty.

Embry helped and much as I tried not to keep looking at him, our eyes met repeatedly and we kept smiling at each other. Quil, uttering a constant babble about the unfortunate lack of girls in his life over the past few weeks, didn't even seem to notice. It was about four-thirty when he suggested going into town for a change of scene.

"We haven't been into Forks for months," he said. "How do you two fancy going to that all-you-can-eat diner and catching a movie or something?"

I glanced at Embry and he smirked.

"I can't tonight, I promised Dad I'd spend some time with him for once," I said. "In fact I'm going to have to kick you two out soon; I said I'd be finished by five."

"What about you, Embry?" Quil asked.

"No, I was about to go home," he replied. "I feel crap, like I'm coming down with something."

"God, you two are so boring," grumbled Quil. "I guess I'm just going to be stuck playing computer games then."

I lowered my head to hide a grin as Embry got up and made to leave.

"Hope you soon feel better," I said, avoiding looking at him.

"Yeah, me too." He left before Quil, who hung around for another ten minutes or so. He was still there when my cellphone bleeped with a text message. I checked the phone and saw it was from Embry.

'See you at the bus stop at six.'

I started tapping out a response. 'Looking forward to it.'

"Who's that?" asked Quil.

"Bella. Sorry, Quil, I'm going to have to get in and start making some dinner for Dad."

"Yeah, yeah, ok, I'm going. See you tomorrow." Quil gave a long-suffering sigh and left me alone.

I closed up the shed, hurried into the house and took a shower, then put on clean jeans and a shirt.

"Are you going out again?" asked Dad.

"Yes, I'm going into Forks to see a movie," I said.

"With Quil and Embry?"

"Yes." Damnit, I was lying to everybody. I certainly wasn't going to tell him I was going on a date with Embry though. My face heated up at the thought. I wasn't sure quite how Dad would take an announcement like that.

I left the house at five-forty-five, hoping that by some poor stroke of luck I wasn't going to run into Quil again. However, I made it to the bus stop without seeing a soul, surprisingly for early Saturday evening. Embry was already there and I did my best not to beam from ear to ear when I reached him, but failed miserably. He looked just as pleased to see me as I was to see him and despite initially feeling nervous about the whole thing, the minute I was there we began chatting about anything and everything until the bus came and then on the half hour journey into Forks.

We reached the movie theatre twenty minutes before 'Derailed' was due to start and I went to buy tickets while Embry got popcorn and coke. I paid for the tickets and then turned around to find Bella standing behind me.

"Hey, Jacob," she said.

"Hey." I felt myself flushing, which was silly. I'd talked to her on the phone several times over the past few weeks and she knew by now how much I liked Embry. She was the only one I really could confide in, who I knew wouldn't tease me or give me lousy advice. I hadn't mentioned I was going to ask him out, however.

"Who are you here with?" she asked. "Quil and Embry?"

"Just Embry."

"Are you on a date?" she whispered.

I grinned. "Yeah."

"About time. I'm here with a friend from school, Jessica," Bella said. "We're going to see 'King Kong'. What about you?"

"Um...'Derailed'," I said, glancing past her at Embry who was hovering by the food counter, looking like he didn't know whether to come over or not.

"Well, don't waste time talking to me, get over there," Bella said. "Have fun."

"Yeah, see you later." I headed over to Embry, relieved Bella wasn't going to see the same movie.

In actual fact, hardly anyone was going to see the same movie as us. 'Derailed' had been showing for almost a month and I guessed most people who wanted to see it had already been. Two couples were in there, about halfway up the rows of seating and three girls sat together near the front; that was all. Embry headed up the steps to the last row and we sat down in the middle, stuck our feet up on the seats in front and began to munch our way through the bucket of popcorn as the trailers rolled.

I hadn't expected to feel so comfortable about being with Embry like this and I began to enjoy every second, although I did miss a fair amount of the movie. I kept looking at him instead of the screen and after about an hour or so, he leaned over to say something to me and I forgot about everything else. His hair trailed over my hand where it lay on the arm rest and his warm breath fanned the side of my face as he spoke. My heart began to pound and I turned my head so that I could brush my lips against his cheek. I was dying to kiss him properly and guessed that a peck on the cheek would give him the chance to pull away first if he was going to.

He pulled back an inch or two, his eyes lowered, and then his lips touched mine. My heart which was already hammering, sped up and I could barely breathe as I closed my eyes and kissed him. His lips parted and caressed mine warmly and I slid my tongue out, tasting the underside of his upper lip, exploring his mouth. I lifted my hands to his face, cupping it a moment before I slid them into his hair, holding it back from his face. I felt one of his hands land on my chest, the fingers touching my skin just below my throat where a couple of my shirt buttons were open and my heart skipped unevenly. I was hot and excited and I felt my jeans growing tighter as I began to stiffen. I plunged my tongue more urgently into his mouth and heard him groan as he kissed me back, his hand sliding down my chest to my stomach, and then around my waist.

I wanted more - so much more - although I knew that if we had been somewhere alone I wouldn't have had much of a clue as to what to do with him. I imagined myself taking his clothes off, touching him and then came to a stop, which was probably just as well as I was now uncomfortably hard. I wondered if our kissing was turning Embry on as much as it was me and guessed it was when he broke the kiss after another moment and turned his face into my neck, breathing fast and trembling against me. I stroked my hand over his hair and drew back a few more inches, thinking it would probably be a good idea to calm down before the movie ended and we had to walk out of the theatre looking all hot and bothered. I let go of Embry and grasped his hand instead, entwining our fingers, surprised at how natural everything felt. Thank God I had plucked up the courage to ask him out.

When the movie ended we went outside and headed for the bus stop. I realised I hadn't actually eaten anything that day other than a few of Quil's sweets and then the popcorn and I was starving. I suggested getting some food and we went into a fast food bar, picked up some fried chicken and fries and sat on a couple of bar stools in the corner while we ate. By the time we caught the bus back to La Push it was ten o'clock and the only other people on it were three other young guys whom I recognised vaguely from school. When we reached the reservation they took off in the opposite direction to us and I walked back to Embry's house with him, wanting to prolong the evening until the last possible minute and hoping for another opportunity to kiss him. The living room light was on at his house, but the curtains were closed and the rest of the house was in darkness.

"Mom will be waiting up for me," he said, stepping up onto the porch.

I followed slowly, suddenly not sure if he would want us to get close in case his Mom caught us, but he didn't seem concerned. He moved closer to me and rested his hands lightly on my chest. I slid my arms around him without hesitation and my pulse quickened as our lips touched. Things heated up rapidly until we were devouring each other, lips crushing each other's, tongues entwining, our bodies pressed together. I was getting hard again and almost pulled away until I felt that Embry was just as excited as I was. I could feel his erection through both our jeans against my thigh and it only aroused me more. I risked sliding my hand down his back to his butt to hold him tighter against me and he groaned into my mouth, shifting his body a little so that the hard-on trapped inside his jeans bumped against mine. Then after a couple more minutes he pulled his mouth away from mine, gasping for breath.

"Oh, God, Jake," he whispered.

I backed off a little and moved my hand back up to his waist, wishing we were somewhere other than his porch where really, anybody could catch us. I was so aroused that I ached and it was a completely new feeling for me. Obviously I'd had urges and jacked myself off in the privacy of my own room like any teenager, but I'd never had someone real - someone this close to me - make me feel so damned horny and eager.

"Do you...want to do this again?" Embry asked softly.

"Are you kidding?" I said at once. "I can't wait to do this again."

Embry took a step away from me and grinned. "We should probably tell Quil something though, or it's going to be awkward having to make shit up all the time."

"Yeah, I guess. I should probably get home," I said. "Are you coming over tomorrow?"

Embry nodded. "See you soon."

"Ok."

I stepped off the porch reluctantly and headed up the drive, glancing back over my shoulder several times and grinning at him before I reached the street and turned in the direction of home. I was excited and frustrated and incredibly happy all at the same time and I couldn't wait to see him again.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

The next morning I was in the shed by eight o'clock, fitting some cosmetic parts to the Rabbit such as lenses over the lights, a rearview mirror and other bits and pieces. It was looking pretty good except for the paintwork, which was something I was going to have to save up for and have a shop do for me.

I was sitting in the car screwing the dash back on when the passenger door suddenly opened and Embry slid into the seat next to me. My heart fluttered and the screwdriver slipped out of my hand.

"Hey, I didn't expect to see you this early," I said. "Is Quil with you?"

"No. I thought I'd beat him to it," Embry smiled. "He'll be over about ten."

"Great," I grinned and leaned towards him. His eyes closed a second before our lips met and he slid his arms around my neck. Any thought of work went out of my head as we kissed and somehow an hour passed by with us doing nothing other than sitting in the Rabbit, cuddling and kissing and teasing each other.

Eventually we drew apart and talked instead while I finished what I had been doing. The few small jobs didn't take long, but by the time I got it done Quil had arrived.

"Oh, you're better then," he said to Embry.

"What?"

"You said you were sick?" Quil frowned now and I smirked at Embry.

"I lied," Embry said. "Sorry."

"Oh, you just wanted to get rid of me? Some friend you are!" Quil grunted, apparently oblivious.

"I...we...went out," Embry said and suddenly blushed furiously.

I giggled foolishly and looked at the floor, wondering why, after everything Quil knew already, this should be embarrassing. Quil looked from Embry to me, his eyes widening.

"You mean, like, on a date?" he asked. "Nah..."

"We went to the movies," I confirmed. "Sorry. We thought we'd tell you after."

"Oh. Seriously? Well...I guess that's good, since you both look like the cat that got the cream or something," Quil grinned. "Please just try to keep your hands off of each other when I'm around, ok?"

That was pretty much all he said, although he did grumble about the fact that he knew he was going to get dumped more and more regularly so that we could spend time together without him.

They both stayed for the rest of the day, eventually helping me push the Rabbit out of the shed so I could try starting it up. I only had one more month to go before I would be able to drive it on the road and I couldn't wait. It would certainly make things easier for Embry and I to be alone together.

The car started on the second try and it sounded great. We all piled in and I drove around the house a couple of times, then parked up after Dad appeared on the porch, waving at me and shouting that I was ploughing up the grass.

Quil left before dinner and I invited Embry to stay for some food. He called his Mom to say he wouldn't be back until later and we heated up some frozen dinners for ourselves and Dad and then excused ourselves to my room with the idea of listening to some music. It was the same thing I had done a thousand times before with either Embry or Quil or both and I knew Dad wouldn't think anything of it. I put a CD on and Embry threw himself down onto my narrow bunk, stretching out on one side with his back to the wall, his head propped up on one hand. I was suddenly nervous, not knowing whether I should join him or not. It wasn't as if anything much was going to happen with Dad in the house, but I still hesitated for a moment.

"How can you sleep in a bed this narrow?" Embry said. "I'd fall out of it."

I stopped dithering and sat on the edge of the bed, then lay down facing him.

"No you wouldn't. You're trapped between me and the wall."

Embry smiled and I lifted my hand and rested it on his upper arm. He was wearing a thin sweatshirt with a hood and I could feel his bicep through the fabric, hard and solid.

"Have you been going to the gym in secret?"

"No, I haven't done anything. Must be natural growth. I guess I'm just lucky."

I edged closer to him, although with the width of the bed I was only two or three inches away to begin with. He shifted slightly and dropped his head down onto the pillow, his hand coming to rest on my chest. He must have felt my heart pounding and it only increased its rate when he slid his hand inside my shirt and stroked my skin. His lips parted just before mine touched them and I plunged my tongue in without hesitation and began to kiss him deeply, sliding my arm around him and holding him tight against me. I immediately began to get hard, my dick slowly rising until it was pressed up against my stomach and I was thankful I was wearing loose cargo pants instead of jeans for once.

Embry ran his fingers through my hair, pulling it free from its ponytail and after another minute he drew one knee up and slid his leg over mine. At once I felt he was just as excited as I was, his erection straining against the fabric of his jeans and digging into my thigh. I ran my hand down his back to his butt, pulling him tighter against me. I longed to touch him more intimately and only wished we could have had the house to ourselves.

Embry squirmed against me, pulling his mouth away from mine and pressing it against my neck instead to smother a moan. I moved my knee up slowly between his legs and he shivered and whimpered alarmingly loudly, although fortunately the music was louder. His hips gyrated slightly and he ground himself harder against me. The fact that he was practically getting himself off by rubbing against my leg only made me harder and I bit my lip to suppress a groan. I was breathless and all I could think about was how good this would feel if we were naked. I squeezed his butt and moved my leg against him.

"Oh, God," Embry gasped suddenly, right at the point where the song currently playing on the CD came to an end and there was a brief pause before the next began.

"Em...sshh..." I whispered, grinning despite my anxiety about Dad hearing anything.

"Sorry," he panted. He was trembling and I hugged him tighter until he just lay still against me, his face in my hair.

"Shit," he whispered after a minute and began to pull away from me. "I'm really sorry." He was bright red and I couldn't help chuckling.

"Don't be silly, it's alright." I touched his hot face and brushed my lips against his.

"Do you want me to...um...return the favour?"

"Not now," I murmured reluctantly. "Not here."

"God, I can't believe I did that," he said.

"If my Dad wasn't in the next room, I'd be doing it. We need to find somewhere else to hang out."

"My Mom sometimes goes out," Embry said. "I just hope she goes again sooner rather than later." He smiled now. "Can I use your bathroom?"

"Yeah, you know where it is."

He climbed over me and left the room and I sat up slowly, frowning in discomfort. Damnit, I was so horny now. I wished I'd let him touch me after all, but I was too self-conscious with Dad in the house. I was still rock hard and aching at the thought that I turned Embry on so much he came in his pants. I almost hoped he would go home so that I could go to bed and jerk off. I tried to stop thinking about it and willed my erection to go down, but it apparently had no intention of doing that and throbbed persistently. When Embry came back into the room a couple of minutes later I almost changed my mind about not letting anything happen, but the thought of Dad suddenly rolling up outside the door and flinging it open at the same time as knocking like he sometimes did was too alarming. That idea had the desired effect of eventually squashing my ardour and I resolved to keep my hands off Embry for the rest of the time that he was with me, with the exception of a long kiss goodbye right before he left.

As soon as he was out of the door, I spent a couple of minutes talking to Dad and then said I intended to get an early night. He was about to do the same and I returned to my room, stripped my clothes off and got into bed. The pillow smelled of Embry and if I closed my eyes I could pretend he was still with me. I was instantly hard again and I grasped myself eagerly, imagining that it was Embry's hand stroking me. I clenched my teeth and did my best not to make a sound although I didn't have to worry about it for long; I lasted less than a minute. I cleaned myself up with a handful of tissues and settled down to sleep although it took me a while to relax. All I could think about was Embry and how much I wanted him.

It was another week before I had any more time alone with him. All week there was school and Quil hanging around and Dad wanting me to do errands and so on. It was almost as if everything was conspiring to keep us apart. We decided to go into Forks again on Saturday night just to get away from everybody else, but then much to my surprise Embry turned up at my house early on Saturday morning, without Quil. We went straight out to the shed, telling Dad we wanted to blast out some music without bothering him since the car was finished and I couldn't use it as an excuse to spend time in the shed rather than the house.

"Quil's got a date," Embry said, grinning as I closed the shed door after us.

"He never said anything yesterday."

"A last minute thing apparently. He sent me a text a little while ago. He's going shopping in Forks with Jared's cousin Mary and two other girls."

"Quil hates shopping," I said.

"Yeah, but he thinks if he goes with them and carries their bags and buys them lunch, one of them will eventually decide he's a good catch. Doubt it, but..." Embry grinned and shrugged.

"Well, at least it means I get you to myself," I smiled, stepping closer to him.

I rested my hands on his waist and pulled him against me. Considering that only a few short weeks ago I was confused and scared and didn't know what I wanted, suddenly I knew exactly what I wanted; I couldn't wait to touch him, to have him touch me and as soon as I kissed him and he slid his arms around me, images of us in bed together began to fill my head and I wondered what it would be like actually fucking him.

I pulled my mouth away from his with a groan. I couldn't breathe and I was so hard already that it hurt. I shrugged my jacket off and leaned back on the shed wall, watching as Embry unzipped the hoodie he was wearing and dropped it on the ground. He was wearing a sleeveless t-shirt underneath, his shoulders, arms and pecs bulging. My eyes widened. I hadn't actually seen the evidence up to now, only felt it. He _had_ to be working out, not that I was going to complain. He was very lean and every muscle was perfectly defined. I had to wonder if he had a six-pack too. As he stepped closer I halted him with a hand, hesitated a moment and then grasped the edges of his t-shirt and pulled it off over his head. His abs were visible in four perfect pairs. _Four_.

"Are you sure you're not going to the gym?" I said, touching his chest lightly.

"I told you. When would I have time? Or the money? They just started growing by themselves." He grinned and blushed slightly. "You like them, do you?"

"Yeah." I slid my arms around him and held him close again. "But I'm jealous."

Embry unfastened one of my shirt buttons and then another and slid his hand inside. My heart thumped wildly as he stroked my skin, pinched a nipple between finger and thumb. I gasped, a little surprised that it felt good. I stiffened even more if that were possible and almost held my breath as Embry undid the rest of the buttons and pushed the shirt off my shoulders. Then both of his hands were on me, exploring my chest, touching my stomach and making the muscles jump, his mouth nibbling at my neck, then his tongue teasing its way down to the nipple he had been pinching, circling it, biting gently.

"Oh, God, don't," I groaned, pulling him upright.

"You don't like it?"

"Yeah, I do, but...you're killing me," I muttered.

Stupidly I was wearing tight jeans and it felt as if they were crushing the life out of me. However, rather than be as blatant as to unfasten them myself, I began to unbutton Embry's instead. My knuckles brushed against his erection through the thin fabric of his underwear and he sucked his breath in when I paused purposely and stroked one finger over it. It twitched impatiently and I grinned and repeated the brief touch. Embry closed his eyes and moaned, his hands moving to the front of my own jeans to undo them. Mine had a zipper and he popped the top button free and ran the zipper down quickly. I was wearing tight jersey shorts underneath and he ran his hand over the outside of them, rubbing me, making me groan and briefly forget about what I was doing with him until he covered my hand with his own and pressed it down over his own hardness.

I unfastened the last button of his jeans, pushed them down a couple of inches and then lowered his boxers too. I opened my eyes a little and looked down as I wrapped my fingers around his dick, surprisingly not finding it strange to be holding one other than my own. Embry pulled mine free of my shorts and grasped it firmly and I stopped thinking and closed my eyes again. I was no longer capable of thought; his hand was stroking up and down, rubbing, squeezing, his thumb teasing the head at the end of each upstroke and I began to copy his movements with my own hand on him, wondering if he would finish as quickly as I was about to. I moved my hand faster, the same way I would have done it to myself.

"God...Jacob..." Embry groaned, resting his head in the curve of my neck where it joined my shoulder. He came a second later, covering my hand and both of our stomachs. Immediately I began to erupt too, panting, gasping, pulling Embry closer against me so that my dick and his hand were trapped between both of us. After a minute he let go of me and pulled his hand free, stooping to grab his t-shirt and using it to wipe himself and then me.

"What are you going to wear now?" I teased breathlessly.

"Your shirt," he grinned. "You got plenty more in the house."

I smiled and slid my arms around him again. I didn't want to stop touching him yet. He rested lightly against me, his hands on my sides and I held him close, feeling his dick still partly hard nudging against mine, his heart pounding in his chest in time with my own.

"You feel so good," I whispered.

"So do you." He pulled his head back and pressed his lips against mine. "I wanted this for so long."

After another moment he stepped away and picked up my shirt, slipping it on. I pulled on my jacket, fastened it up and went back to the house to get another shirt, taking the opportunity to go in the bathroom and clean up properly. I caught sight of my flushed face and bright eyes in the mirror and grinned to myself as I thought about what had made me look like that. I just couldn't wait to do it again.

Nor could Embry apparently. We hung out together for a couple more hours, playing CDs and sitting on the old rear seat I had removed from the Rabbit and left in the corner of the shed. I was horny the whole time, unable to get my mind off the way his hand felt on me, the way his dick felt in my hand. Eventually I couldn't stop myself touching him again. I put my hand on his knee as he sat next to me and then slid it up the inside of his thigh. When I paused there, he covered my hand with his and moved it up a couple more inches until I felt his hardness and guessed his mind had been on the same thing mine had as we had sat there seemingly chatting the way we always did. I grinned and squeezed him, making him gasp, then let go and got to my feet.

"What? Don't stop!" Embry groaned.

"Get up." I grabbed his hand and pulled him up. "Let's get in the car."

We slid into the back seat which proved to be much more comfortable and Embry unfastened his jeans again without waiting for me to do it. He was half lying across my lap as I jerked him off again, his head resting against my shoulder, his breath hot on my neck as he panted and gasped. He didn't last much longer than he had the first time and by then I was longing for my turn, my erection straining against my zipper and my balls aching.

Embry drew away from me slowly, not bothering to fasten his pants and I sprawled back in the seat and closed my eyes as he unzipped me. He pulled my jeans and underwear down and I lifted my butt off the seat as they slid down over my thighs. I expected to feel Embry's hand on me, maybe even both hands, but what I felt was his hair brush across my thighs and then warm moistness touch the head of my erection and then trail down the length towards my balls. My eyes flew open and I watched in shock as he gathered his hair up in one hand to pull it out of the way and worked his tongue back up my shaft again. He paused for a second, then captured the head between his lips and sucked gently.

_"Fuck!"_ I gasped.

Embry wrapped his hand around me now and began to pump me slowly, his mouth following his hand up and down, the hot wetness of it surrounding me, his tongue teasing me unbearably.

"Oh, God, Em, don't," I groaned.

He raised his head and his mouth slipped away from me. "You want me to stop?"

"No!" I almost whined.

He grinned and continued, his hand beginning to move faster, his mouth sucking harder until I knew I was going to disgrace myself in a few more seconds. I reached down to push him off me, unable to actually utter anything more than a moan. Embry lifted his free hand and caught mine, holding it away from him until it was too late for me to stop him. I came forcefully into his mouth and he stilled the movement of his hand, then slowly let me slip from his lips. I opened my eyes, stunned, and looked down at him. He straightened up, grinning.

"Jesus, Em," I gasped.

He slid closer to me again and kissed my neck and I wrapped my arms around him, my heart hammering. Somehow we had to find more time to be alone together to do more of this. The weekends were no longer going to be enough.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

Somehow we did manage to find more time to be together, mostly in my shed. At least twice a week Embry would come over after school, having told his Mom we were working on a school project in pairs. However, that only lasted as long as the end of the semester and then we were free for the holidays. The only difficulty then was keeping Quil out of the picture without hurting his feelings too much. The three girls he had attempted to woo saw him as nothing more than a friend they could take advantage of and his brief period of being a stud was long forgotten.

It was three days before Christmas when Embry came over late one evening after we had already spent the day together and reluctantly parted at nine o'clock. It was almost eleven when he tapped on my window. I was still up, sitting on my bed in shorts and t-shirt checking emails on my laptop. The light tap made me jump and I put the computer down and pushed the curtain back, then opened the window.

"Embry! Shit, what happened?"

He was crying and I could see in the light from my window that a deep bruise was developing across his cheekbone.

"Come in," I prompted, backing out of the way.

He scrambled in through the window and sat on the bed, kicking his boots off and wiping his sleeve across his eyes.

"Sorry," he said shakily.

"Tell me what happened." I slid my arms around him and he leaned against me, shivering. "Who hit you?"

"My Mom," Embry sniffed.

"What? Why?"

"She found out. About everything. She went through my room earlier when I was here. There's some stuff under my bed, magazines and things and...God, I'm really sorry...I had some pictures of you in one of my drawers."

"It doesn't matter," I said at once. It did matter - I was horrified that his Mom knew because it meant my Dad was going to be next to find out and probably much sooner than I'd hoped, but I just wanted to make him feel better.

"It does matter. She hates that I'm gay and she's not going to let me come over here any more. In fact she's taking me away for nearly two weeks over Christmas. We're leaving in the morning to go and visit her sister in Seattle."

"Oh, God," I groaned. Two weeks without him? And even then we wouldn't see each other except at school if he was banned from seeing me. I hugged him tighter and he slid his arms around my neck. "How did you get out?" I asked.

"Same way I got in here. Through the window," Embry sniffed.

I stroked my hand over his hair and kissed his bruised cheek lightly, tasting salt. I had no idea how to help. If only my Mom was still alive, I wouldn't have found it so hard telling her and she might have had words with Embry's Mom, at least about hitting Embry.

"Maybe I should just tell my Dad," I said doubtfully.

"Don't," said Embry in alarm, backing off a little. "Your Dad's great; I don't want him to be mad with you. And he'd probably hate me."

"Of course he wouldn't. Anyway, your Mom might tell him."

"She won't. She's so ashamed of me, she said she doesn't want anyone finding out. I wish I was already sixteen; I'd leave."

Embry was four months younger than me, his sixteenth birthday not until the middle of May.

"She might come around," I said. "She just got a shock."

"Yeah; I doubt it." Embry smiled wanly.

"What are you doing with photos of me anyway?" I grinned, trying to lighten the mood. "I didn't know you had any."

"Don't you remember that day in the summer when you, me and Quil were all down on the beach? He had that new camera he was messing around with. Neither of you seemed to notice me snapping away with my cellphone." He smirked suddenly. "I was stupid though; I put the pictures on my computer and printed some. That's what Mom found. I'm sorry."

"Stop saying you're sorry," I told him. "You can make it up to me by sending me some pictures of you, since I don't have any other than some from when we were little kids."

Embry grinned wider. "I guess I can do that. Look, I better go before Mom finds out I'm not there. I'm not going to see you again until the New Year."

His face fell again immediately and I moved closer to him and brushed my lips against his.

"Just wait a minute. I better give you your Christmas gift early." I slid off the bed and went to the wardrobe.

"You got me a gift?" Embry said sounding surprised.

"Yeah, didn't you get me one?" I teased.

"Yes, I did, but..."

"It's not much," I added. "I'm broke from spending so much on the Rabbit."

"Me too, actually. Mom halved my allowance since they cut her hours at work."

I handed the package wrapped in red paper to him. I had agonised over what to get for him. He and Quil and I usually only exchanged Christmas cards, but now things were different between us I had wanted to buy him a gift, but panicked over whether to go for a casual thing or something more intimate. In the end I thought I'd save intimate for his birthday and instead bought him the latest Star Wars DVD which had come out earlier that year, which he was mad on for some reason I couldn't fathom, and Korn's recently released CD which was Embry's current favourite band.

Much to my relief, Embry was delighted with both and said he would take them with him to Seattle to cheer himself up over Christmas. At least his Mom hadn't taken his cellphone away from him, so we could still talk to each other.

When he left a few minutes later, I immediately felt lost and lonely. He would be away for twelve days and it seemed like an interminable length of time. Embry sent me a text when he got home to say his Mom was asleep and hadn't noticed he was missing and that he would try to call me the next evening from Seattle.

I barely slept that night, missing him already even though he was still only a few minutes' walk away. I tossed and turned, longing for him and feeling sick and anxious as I thought about him leaving in just a few hours. He would be away less than two weeks and I didn't know how I was going to stand it. I felt like crying too and I knew it had to be much worse for him, with his Mom angry at him, punishing him just for being himself.

When I woke in the morning after a brief period of restless sleep, I showered and drank juice and then stayed in my room sulking and staring at my phone in the hopes that somehow Embry might find the opportunity to call me. Nine o'clock came and went and the hands on my clock continued crawling around towards ten. My phone didn't ring and I knew he would be gone by now. I felt miserable and empty and worried that Embry would be having a lousy time with his Mom. By the time Quil turned up just before eleven I was pacing around the small room considering going out and running on the beach or something before I went crazy.

"God, I hope you're not going to look like that for the next two weeks," Quil exclaimed, throwing himself onto the end of my bed. "Like someone died."

"Fuck off," I muttered. "I take it you heard."

"Yeah, I can't believe his Mom hit him. He called me this morning sounding like you look." Quil smirked suddenly. "He's more bothered about being dragged off to Seattle than anything else though. Aww, it must be love."

"Shut the hell up, Quil!" I snapped. I knew I was turning red and the worst thing was that I was beginning to feel like I did love him and being without him for so long was going to be torture.

"Alright, put a lid on it. I brought you something." Quil opened up a plastic bag he had with him which I hadn't noticed initially, and took out a large flat parcel covered in silver paper.

"What's that?"

"Present from Embry." He grinned at me. "He asked me to run over before they left. Should I leave the room while you open it?"

"Don't be stupid."

"And he said not to text him before three this afternoon or his Mom will probably catch him."

"Thanks, Quil."

I cheered up slightly and opened the gift. It was a glossy hardback book about my favourite car in the whole world - the Shelby Mustang GT500. I grinned and flicked through the pages. I didn't even think I had mentioned the Shelby for some months, but Embry had remembered it was my dream car.

"I don't know how you can get so excited over a hunk of metal," Quil scoffed.

He hung around for a few hours and I was glad of his company, knowing I would have spent the time moping about as I had all morning otherwise. He left just after three and within minutes I had a text from Embry to say he had arrived in Seattle. His Mom and her sister were so busy gossiping that they had already forgotten about him and he was in the box room where he was to be sleeping.

'I miss you,' I typed at once. 'Thank you for the book, I love it.'

My phone beeped again a couple of minutes later and when I opened the message, it was a picture of Embry's head and shoulders as he apparently lay on his back on a bed, his hair spread around him. The shot was angled slightly from one side so the bruise on his face wasn't visible. I grinned and opened up my phone's camera function to take a photo of myself. I didn't know what pictures he had of me from the summer, but he certainly didn't have any of me looking at the camera. I sent him the photo and then sat staring at the phone, awaiting his reply.

'Call me?'

I punched the green button twice immediately - his number was always the last one I had called. We talked for an hour and he confessed unhappily that he only had ten dollars of credit left on his phone and his Mom had refused to give him any money for more. I told him to save what he had to text me to let me know when I could call him and when we finished talking, I went out and bought fifty dollars worth of credit to ensure that I wouldn't run out for a while. It was the only money I had left and I just hoped it would last.

What followed was the longest Christmas and New Year I had ever had. Dad and I went over to the Clearwaters' for Christmas dinner and a couple of days later we went into Forks and spent a day with Charlie and Bella, during which I mostly sat in Bella's room, driving her mad with my whining about how I missed Embry. To her credit she didn't complain, but did her best to cheer me up instead. When she finally revealed that Edward Cullen had gone away and that she was heartbroken over it, I felt like a complete shit for dumping all my problems on her. At least Embry would be back in a week - Edward had apparently left for good.

I actually felt better by the time I went home. A week wasn't so bad. Bella said she felt like a hole had been punched through her because Edward had said he didn't want her any more. Embry was just as desperate to be with me as I was him and knowing that made being apart more bearable. I told him about Bella on the phone that night.

"God, poor Bella," he said. "I hope you never get sick of me."

"I'm not going to do that, Em, I love you," I said without even thinking about what I was saying until it was out of my mouth. I immediately felt myself blushing and I held my breath until he answered. Maybe I shouldn't have said that. Maybe it was too soon and he didn't feel the same.

"I love you too, Jacob, I wanted to tell you before."

I grinned stupidly. "I can't wait to see you," I said.

"Me too. I don't care what my Mom says. Even if she grounds me, she can't be there all the time to check up on me. She has to get back to work the day after we come home."

The rest of the week crawled by. I spent as much time as I could with either Quil or Bella during the day and talked to Embry every night, sometimes for a couple of hours. My phone credit was lasting better than I thought it would and I didn't really have to limit the amount of time I talked to him. Finally on New Year's Eve he told me that he would only be away one more day. His Mom planned for them to leave early on January second as she had been contacted by her job and asked to go in on the third rather than the fourth. Only two more nights and he would be back in La Push.

However, before that I was in for a surprise. I spent most of New Year's Day with Dad at the Clearwaters'. Sue cooked another huge meal as she had on Christmas Day and we all over-ate; then I played computer games with Seth, the youngest Clearwater for a while. It was about four o'clock when my phone bleeped with a message and I fumbled it out of my pocket quickly. I was disappointed when I saw it was from Quil.

'Can you come over now? Got something for you.'

'Can't it wait?' I replied.

'No. Hurry up.'

I asked Dad and then Sue if they minded me excusing myself. Neither cared and since Harry had collected us in his truck to save Dad driving, I didn't have to worry about being there to help him get home either. I grabbed my jacket and headed over to Quil's, muttering to myself about what on earth could be so urgent that he had to show it to me there and then. His room was right above the front door and I could see him looking out of the window as I walked up the drive. He disappeared quickly and the door opened before I had even stepped up onto the porch.

"What do you want?" I muttered. "I was over at the Clearwaters' with Dad."

"It's a surprise. Go on up to my room, I'll catch up with you in a minute," Quil said, grinning like a fool.

"Just tell me." I knew I would be hearing from Embry before too long and I didn't want to be stuck with Quil so I couldn't call him.

"Please, just trust me, for once in your life," sighed Quil.

"Fine." I pulled my boots off and headed up the stairs. I suppose I should have had an idea what was going on, but I just didn't; how could I know when I thought he was still in Seattle? I opened Quil's door and there was Embry sitting on the bed, biting his lip and looking a touch nervous like he had when everything first started.

"Oh, my God! Embry!" I shoved the door closed quickly before Quil's Mom and Gramps heard me and Embry stood up slowly. "What are you doing here?" I flung my arms around him and hugged him tightly.

"Mom decided to leave early this morning rather than leave it until tomorrow and then not have time to do anything before she goes back to work." He slid his arms around me and pressed his face into my neck. "I missed you so much."

"Me too." I sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled him down with me. "How did you get here?"

"Mom dropped me off. She said she'd come back for me in an hour."

I grinned; that explained Quil's message. I stopped wasting time talking and kissed him instead. Quil would be coming up at any moment and I at least wanted one kiss. It had been far too long. I touched his face and brushed my lips against his. He deepened it immediately, his lips parting to admit my tongue, his own sliding out to explore, his hands gripping me tightly. My heart began to pound and I quickly grew uncomfortably hard, despite the fact that we were in Quil's house with Quil about to come in at any minute. I wanted him so badly and I couldn't wait for us to find some time alone again. He whimpered into my mouth and I guessed he was feeling the same way I was, which only excited me more.

The door opened slowly and we leaped apart. Quil sidled in with his eyes shut and closed the door after him.

"Sorry, I can't very well knock on my own door, Mom will ask questions," he grinned.

"It's alright, you can look," Embry said, red-faced. I smirked and silently willed my erection to go down again.

We spent the rest of the time Embry had left before his Mom picked him up talking about our respective Christmases. Embry's vacation in Seattle had been nothing less than boring. His Mom and her sister, who was also single, had gone out at least every other night, leaving him in the house alone and he hadn't seen another soul except for a couple of other friends of his aunt. He had already told me on the phone that his Mom hadn't mentioned what had happened before they left any more and she hadn't reiterated that he was stay away from me when they got back either. He promised to text or call me the next day if he could escape, but otherwise his Mom went back to work the day after and we could be together then.

When the car pulled up outside, I stayed in Quil's room while he and Embry went down to the door and when Quil returned, I hung around another ten minutes before I made my way home. Dad still wasn't back and I went into my room and switched on the laptop, onto which I had downloaded the photos Embry sent me - half a dozen in all, one without his shirt which showed his muscles appeared to have grown even more since he'd left La Push. I stared at that one, imagining he was there with me, kissing me, touching me, sucking me, while I jacked off vigorously and then again more slowly when once proved not to be enough. Just one more night - or two at most - and I would be doing this with Embry again for real.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER EIGHT

I didn't think I would sleep that night. I was full of excitement that Embry was back and longing so much to be with him, but at the same time I was exhausted and completely drained from what I had been doing the minute I got home from Quil's. I got into bed early and somehow I was asleep within minutes. I didn't even hear Dad come home later in Harry Clearwater's truck and it was almost eight the next morning when I finally woke. I sat up, yawning and rubbing my eyes just as my phone bleeped. I snatched it up.

'Mom wants me out of the way all day. See you in about an hour. x'

'Can't wait. x,' I replied and threw myself out of bed, suddenly wide awake. My heart started to thump wildly and I hurried into the bathroom to get another shower and clean my teeth. As I lathered myself in shower gel, I couldn't help imagining what fun it would be to share a shower with Embry and I quickly grew hard again. Tempting as it was to touch myself I ignored it, knowing it would be about a hundred times better if I waited for Embry to do it.

I finished the shower quickly and dried off, glancing at myself in the mirror as I brushed my hair. I frowned as I stared at my reflection. With my arm up in the air holding the brush the muscles in my shoulder were visible, as well as my bicep which was usually the case only this morning they were more noticeable. It was a little while since I had actually stared at myself for more than a few seconds so I hadn't seen any change previously. I put the brush down and looked more closely at myself. My chest was sticking out a little more than usual too and when I clenched my fists, my forearm muscles popped up. I was probably imagining it; it was just toning from working on the car. Or wishful thinking. I was just the same as always. I really ought to think about getting some dumb bells or something. Embry, who was younger and skinnier than me, was way more muscular.

I pulled on some clothes and went to make coffee and toast for Dad, nibbling half a slice myself, my appetite gone and the butterflies in my stomach leaving no room for food.

"What are you doing today?" Dad asked me. "Quil coming over?"

"Yes, probably," I said. "But Embry's back from Seattle so we've got some catching up to do."

Boy, did we have some catching up to do! I turned away to hide a smirk and glanced at the clock for about the tenth time in the last five minutes. Less than half an hour to go. I went out to the shed rather than wait for him in the house and paced up and down impatiently, my phone in my hand so I could see the time. Fifteen minutes.

It bleeped and I checked the message quickly. He was on his way and my mouth went dry as I responded, telling him I was out in the shed. By the time he arrived my heart was slamming against my ribs and I was hard again as I thought about kissing him, touching him...

He pushed the door open, slipped inside and closed it behind him. The Rabbit was parked just inside the door and I was leaning against it while I waited for him. In a second we were in each other's arms, devouring each other, not even bothering to utter a word of greeting first. He pressed his body hard against mine and I could feel that he was as excited as I was. I let go of him, pulled his arms from around my neck and slid his jacket off his shoulders. It fell to the ground and the t-shirt he was wearing underneath quickly followed along with my own sweatshirt.

I crushed my lips onto his again, plunging my tongue eagerly into his mouth as we fumbled urgently with each other's pants, desperate to touch and be touched. In another moment my dick was in Embry's hand and I was pushing his jeans and shorts down a little, grasping him. I tore my mouth away from his, gasping for breath, my hand keeping pace with his as he began to pump me harder and faster. We came together, panting and laughing and then clung to each other again, still mostly undressed, stomachs sticky and dicks still hard.

I slid my hands down his back to his butt, pulling him tighter against me. I wished we had somewhere better to spend our time than my shed. I wanted to have sex with him and once the idea was in my head, all I could think of was what it might feel like if I was in bed with him, his legs spread open under me, my dick inside him. I shuddered and thrust myself against him, my erection bumping against his.

"God, Em, I want more," I groaned, wondering if it was what he wanted too.

"So do I." His teeth nipped at my ear. "Just not here. Can you wait a bit longer?"

"Yeah," I said, although I was thinking 'no!'

"My Mom's going away overnight next weekend. When it's your birthday." His teeth grazed my neck. "You could stay over...if you want to."

"Mmm..." I murmured. "Sounds like a good plan." I pulled my head back and nibbled at his lower lip. "Let's go sit in the car for a while."

I let go of him just long enough to kick my boots off and wriggle out of my jeans and underwear, then I slid into the back seat of the car. Embry joined me quickly and I realised it was the first time we had been completely naked together. I sat sideways on the seat, my erection standing up against my stomach and drew Embry onto my lap. He kneeled astride me, his butt resting on my thighs and edged forwards until he was pressed tight against me, my dick thrusting against the base of his. He ground himself against me, the friction of our hard-ons rubbing together making me groan, already halfway towards another eruption.

Embry grasped my hand suddenly and lifted it to his mouth, sucking my fingers and I opened my eyes curiously. What was he thinking? My index finger and the middle one were slick with saliva when he let them go and he met my eyes.

"Touch me," he said breathlessly.

He didn't mean his dick. I reached around him, slipping my hand under him and between his legs, feeling for the small tight hole there, both excited and nervous as I pressed the tip of my finger against it and then up into him. Embry shivered and his nails dug into the back of my shoulders.

"Oh, God," he groaned. "More...please..."

I pushed my finger in deeper and slowly added the second, surprised that it didn't appear to be causing him any discomfort. For a moment I wondered if maybe he had done it before and my guts clenched at the thought. Surely not. I didn't want to think about anyone else touching him. And yet he seemed to know what he was doing.

'Don't think about it,' I told myself. I didn't want to spoil things.

I thrust my fingers deeper again, as far as I could reach, scissoring them slightly, exploring and forgetting my stupid thoughts as he trembled and moaned, rubbing himself harder against me. He came just before I did and I withdrew my fingers and wrapped my arms around his waist. After a moment he slid off my lap, opened the door and grabbed my underwear to wipe us clean. What I had been thinking before sprang back into my mind again and I couldn't seem to push it away. What did it matter if he had maybe done something before he even liked me? Before sex with anybody had even crossed my mind.

"Jake, what's wrong?" Embry asked suddenly.

"Nothing," I said. Damn, had I been that obvious?

"Something is." Embry snuggled closer to me and kissed my ear. "Tell me."

"It's stupid."

"Tell me," he persisted, kissing my cheek now.

"I just wondered...if you did this before." I knew I was flushing and I wished I was better at hiding my feelings.

"Aww, you're jealous," Embry teased. "Sorry. No, I didn't do it before. I never even kissed anyone before. I just fool around myself sometimes. Actually, a lot of the time."

"I'm sorry, Em, I just..."

"You were jealous," he said again. "And I love it. I love you."

"I love you too."

It was the first time we had said it in person and I wondered if it filled him with the same overwhelming warmth and happiness that it did me. I kissed him again and then drew back.

"We better get some clothes on; it'd be just like Quil to turn up now."

"He won't, he said he'd leave us alone today," Embry smiled.

"Well, I'm getting cold anyway." I slid out of the car and grabbed my jeans, shivering.

"I'm still hot," Embry commented, although he began to get dressed too. Come to think of it, he had felt pretty hot in my arms, almost as if he was running a fever.

We went into the house after a while and hung out in my room listening to music, playing on the computer and talking. I went to make sandwiches for lunch, including a plateful for Dad and we watched a couple of movies in the afternoon until Embry's Mom called to find out where he was.

"I'm at Quil's," he lied and hung up a moment later.

"She wants me back for dinner," he said. "At least she's working tomorrow so she won't be bothering about what I'm doing." He kissed me goodbye and left quickly.

The next couple of days were much the same, although Quil came over for a while and then Dad wanted to go into Forks on Saturday to see Charlie. I spent the time talking to Bella, trying to cheer her up as she had me over Christmas. She was still completely crushed over Edward and barely seemed to have left her room in days.

On Monday we were all back at school and throughout the week it became increasingly difficult for Embry and I not to let anyone else see how we felt about each other. I wanted to hold his hand and kiss him all the time and Saturday night was constantly on my mind. I hardly even cared that it was my birthday; all I could think about was that I was going to sleep with Embry for the first time.

Embry's Mom left early on Saturday morning for Seattle and he revealed that the only reason he wasn't being dragged along too was that she had met a guy at Christmas and didn't want him cramping her style. Her excitement over the weekend had apparently put her problem with Embry being gay out of her mind and she hadn't said anything about who he could or couldn't see.

Embry and Quil both came over in the morning and Bella and Charlie arrived a little later, all with gifts for me. Dad had paid for me to have driving lessons so that I could finally get the Rabbit on the road and much to my delight, Charlie had called in a favour with a guy in Forks who ran a paint shop, persuading him to spray the car in my choice of colour for a hundred dollars. Bella didn't give me a gift, but a card with forty dollars in it.

"I thought you could put it towards the spraying," she said.

Quil gave me a blues rock compilation CD and Embry's gift appeared to be another CD, which I knew was one of his. He just winked at me and told me when the others weren't listening that my real present was at his house.

We called out for Chinese food for a late lunch and then Charlie and Bella took off and I left with Quil and Embry to spend the night having a movie marathon and pizza as far as my Dad was concerned. Quil left us and went home before we reached Embry's house and once we got in, he took his CD back and gave me what he actually bought for my birthday. It was a wristwatch on a leather strap, the back engraved with, 'For Jacob, love always, Em'.

I hardly knew what to say as I fastened it around my wrist. I guessed the huge grin on my face indicated I liked it.

"Em, this is awesome!" I said. "How the hell did you afford something like this?"

"Mom felt guilty for hitting me and when she got paid last week she gave me a double allowance."

"Is she ok about you...us, now?" I asked.

"No. She's pretending I'm 'normal' as she calls it, but she says she wishes she hadn't hurt me. I think this guy she met softened her up a bit."

I smiled and leaned closer to kiss him. "I love the watch. Thank you."

We spent the next couple of hours sprawling on the living room sofa, watching television and cuddling. I couldn't stop thinking about what was going to happen later and I was both excited and nervous. I was actually going to have sex; my stomach fluttered and my dick twitched at the thought, but at the same time I worried I'd fumble about, mess it up, hurt him or something. My dick was a hell of a lot bigger than my fingers.

The television show we had been watching ended and something else started. I was lying on my side now, Embry with his back to me, my arms around him. He edged backwards suddenly, pressing himself harder against me and turning his head to look over his shoulder at me. I brushed my lips against his jaw and slid my hand up from where it rested on his stomach, laying it on his chest instead. His heart was pounding as rapidly as mine was and I kissed him lightly on the mouth, caressing his lips with mine but not deepening it. After a moment he slid away from me, grabbed the remote control to turn the television off and plunged the room into darkness, then slipped his hand into mine and led me to his room without a word.

I was immediately filled with nerves. I was excited and I was as horny as hell, but I was scared too and my hands shook as I unfastened Embry's shirt. We undressed each other slowly and climbed into his bed together, a bed which was at least twice as wide as my tiny bunk. I was only half erect, apprehension temporarily affecting my eagerness. When I drew Embry closer to me, he felt the same way I did, but the minute our lips touched everything else was forgotten. I plunged my tongue into his mouth and felt myself stiffen in a moment, my hard-on bumping against Embry's and making me shiver. He slid his leg over mine, the way he had that day at my house when we were fully dressed and I had longed to know what it would feel like naked. I stroked my hand down his back to his butt and squeezed the firm flesh, holding him tighter against me until he pulled his mouth away from mine, gasping for breath and trembling. He turned his face into my neck, biting gently at first and then harder, his teeth scraping the skin while he rubbed himself against me. I pushed myself up from the mattress, rolling him onto his back and lowering myself onto him. My dick nudged against his, both of them trapped between our stomachs and I groaned with longing. I wanted him so much, I was aching.

He reached out suddenly with one hand, leaning off the side of the bed for something. I took my weight off him and he stretched further, then rolled back, a small tube of something in his hand.

"What's that?" I murmured.

"Lube."

He unscrewed the cap, squeezed a little out and then stroked it onto me, the cool slickness of it making me quiver. I reached down to guide myself, almost holding my breath as I pushed against him. The head of my dick slipped into him and then stopped. It was so tight and he tensed up even more, flinching and whimpering in pain when I tried to move. I pulled out again in alarm.

"Sorry," he whispered.

I touched his face gently. "Maybe we shouldn't do this," I said anxiously.

"No, I want to. Wait..."

He reached out for the lube again, emptied half of the small tube into his hand and reached between us to lather it onto my hard-on until I was covered in it. I tried again, hesitantly, holding my breath as I guided myself into him. I slid in easily an inch or two and then stopped moving. He was more relaxed than before and I didn't feel any resistance. He ran his hands down my back to my butt and pulled me against him slowly. I felt as if he were sucking me into him, deeper and deeper until my body was tight against his and I was inside him as far as I could go.

"Fuck," I hissed.

I had to hold still or I would have lost it there and then. He was so hot and so tight around me and the lube so slippery and I could feel his dick throbbing against my stomach, the end sticky with precum. I pulled back slowly and then thrust forward again and then again.

"Oh, God, yes," Embry groaned, drawing his knees up further either side of me, his hands still on my butt.

I continued fucking him, for maybe another twenty seconds before I lost control of myself and erupted into him, feeling him spurting onto my stomach at the same time. I was panting for breath, my hair sticking to my damp shoulders and Embry was slick with sweat beneath me, his body a furnace only making me hotter. I lifted my weight off him and slid out of him carefully, then rolled onto my side, my arms still around him.

"Are you ok?" I murmured.

"Yeah." He brushed his lips against my neck. "It was amazing."

"I love you, Em," I breathed, glancing at my arm where it rested across his waist. I was still wearing the wristwatch.

"I love you."

We lay there holding each other for a while and then I drew away from him slowly. "Do you want to get a shower?"

"Yeah," he grinned at once. "Let's share it."

I sat up and took off the watch, laying it on my bed table. I had been dying to share a shower with him since the previous week. I slid off the bed, grasped his hand and led him out of the room.


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE

We fooled around in the shower, washing each other and then jerking off until the water began to run cold and then I jumped out of it quickly, shivering and grabbing a towel. Embry stayed where he was under the cold water for a few minutes, complaining that he was so hot he couldn't stand it.

"Are you alright?" I asked. "You're not getting sick, are you?"

"I don't think so." He smirked suddenly. "It's your fault, you make me hot."

We stayed up a little while longer, helped ourselves to snacks from the kitchen and then returned to Embry's room. We lay talking and cuddling for a while and then eventually fell asleep in each other's arms. When I woke in the morning Embry was still sleeping, his head resting on my shoulder and one hand on my chest. I stroked my hand over his hair and he stirred slightly, snuggling closer, but didn't wake. I just lay there grinning stupidly, relishing every minute of being in bed with him even though we weren't doing anything. I didn't want the weekend to end and only wished that we were older, that at least one of us had our own place so that we could do this all the time.

I slid away from Embry carefully so as not to disturb him and went to use the bathroom, borrowed his toothbrush and drank a glass of water. Then I went back to bed. Embry hadn't moved and I leaned over him, gently brushing my lips against his until he suddenly opened his eyes and smiled up at me.

"Morning," I whispered.

"Hey." Another kiss. I was already getting hard and I slid my hand under the quilt, stroking his chest.

"Wait. Just give me a couple of minutes."

He rolled away, left the bed and went to the bathroom. When he returned we spent another hour or so in bed, kissing, touching, licking and making love again until once again we were sweaty, sticky and in need of another shower.

"When's your Mom coming back?" I asked as I squeezed out a handful of shower gel and began massaging it over Embry's body.

"Late afternoon."

"Do you want to go out and do something?" I suggested. Through everything we had only actually been on one proper date.

"Love to."

I went home for a little while and spent an hour with Dad, telling him as little as I could so I didn't have to lie too much. He just told me to make the most of my birthday weekend and gave me another twenty dollars for lunch and bus fares. Sue and Harry Clearwater were coming over to spend some time with him and he didn't mind what I did. I set off to the bus stop, having sent Embry a text asking him to meet me there and we got the bus into Forks. I took him to a diner for some lunch, then we wandered around the town together for a while before we returned to La Push and headed down to the beach. It was cold and windy and I zipped my jacket up to my chin and held Embry's hand as we walked, surprised that his fingers were warm and he didn't bother to fasten the hooded sweatshirt he was wearing.

"I can't believe you're still hot," I said.

Embry grinned, but didn't answer as his cellphone suddenly rang. It was his Mom and he spoke to her for a few seconds, then hung up again beaming.

"She's not coming back until much later," he said. "About ten, she thinks."

"Good, does that mean we still have time to break a few more bed springs?" I blurted out, laughing.

Embry giggled and we began to make our way slowly off the beach. We paused as we heard a loud yell and looked around curiously. No one else was on the beach, but when we looked up at the cliffs a little distance away, we could see two guys standing up there wearing only cut-off pants. Glancing down another was visible in the sea, his head bobbing on the surface and one arm waving.

"Oh, my God! Those guys are insane!" I gasped.

"Yeah, I know, I've seen them jumping off there a few times," Embry said.

"Who are they?" I squinted as one of the two still on the cliff suddenly took a running jump off the edge and hurtled towards the choppy water below.

"Paul and Jared and Sam Uley."

"Are you kidding? What the hell are they doing that for?"

"Makes them feel big maybe," Embry shrugged. "Sam probably put them up to it; they seem to do anything he says. Look, there he goes. Crazy fucker."

We watched as Sam launched himself off the cliff, his body stretched out in a perfect line, arms above his head, and sliced into the water head first.

"Shit," I muttered. "They must have a death wish."

Forgetting about the three guys quickly, we headed back to Embry's house and wasted no time in returning to his bed. I remembered how we had fooled around naked in the Rabbit, him sitting on me and we tried this, Embry kneeling astride me again, but with my dick inside him, his hands gripping my shoulders as he slid up and down, slowly at first and then harder and faster until we came together once again. Afterwards we lazed around cuddling each other, hoping the afternoon was never going to end, but of course it did and eventually I had to leave him. We parted reluctantly at the door and I walked home, hating to go. I didn't want to even let him out of my sight for a minute and the thought that we couldn't be together again like that for some time was agonising. Of course I would see him at school the next day and we could probably have a couple of evenings together in the week, back in the shed again, but now it seemed like it wouldn't be enough.

I didn't sleep well that night even though I was tired. I kept thinking about how good it had been sleeping with Embry in my arms, waking up with him snuggling against me, making love to him. It wasn't even arousal keeping me awake for once, but just longing for him to be with me. When I finally got out of bed in the morning I felt like hell and didn't relish going to school. The only thing that got me out of the door was the prospect of seeing Embry in just another ten minutes. I hurried towards Quil's house, my heart thumping with excitement. We hadn't seen anything of him all weekend and I wondered if he would guess we had slept together. Neither of us had told him anything, but he would probably put two and two together with Embry's Mom being away.

Quil came out as I approached the house and he was alone. Immediately my heart sank and I guess my face fell a mile too.

"Don't look so happy to see me," Quil said.

"Sorry. Where's Embry?" I checked my phone, even though I knew there was no message. It would have bleeped.

"I don't know, I haven't heard from him. Maybe he's sick."

"He felt like he had a fever yesterday," I said.

"Oh, you were feeling him, were you?" Quil snorted.

"Fuck off." My face quickly grew hot.

"So maybe he came down with something," said Quil.

"He would have sent me a text."

"Well, maybe he's still asleep, or too sick to think about texting."

"Oh, God," I groaned, my stomach knotting up. What if he really was sick? What if he was lying in bed delirious from some terrible fever?

"Jesus, Jake, get a grip," Quil scoffed. "I'm sure he'll get in touch later."

"Maybe I should go see him."

"Don't be stupid. His Mom'll go crazy."

"She'll have gone to work," I protested.

"Not if he's on his death bed, she'll be looking after him."

"Quil!" I exclaimed, now imagining him virtually unconscious, his Mom mopping his brow. Ridiculous, but I couldn't help it.

"You're a jerk," he responded. "He'll be fine. Now can we get to school?"

"Yeah, ok," I sighed. He was right. I was a jerk. I'd just been looking forward to seeing Embry so much and now I couldn't and he had actually felt like he was much hotter than was normal. It was probably nothing.

I suffered all day. I didn't hear anything from Embry and twice I begged Quil to text him in case his Mom checked his phone and saw the message was from me. The second time Quil typed out, 'Where the fuck are you?', but there was no answer. When we left school, I lurked out of sight of Embry's house while Quil went over there to see what was wrong with him. I paced around chewing my nails, my heart in my mouth and my stomach somersaulting until Quil came back a few minutes later.

"Where is he? Is he alright?" I demanded.

"He's not there."

"_What?_"

"His Mom almost went for me; she thinks he's with one of us. She had a fight with him last night. Apparently one of the neighbours told her you'd been there the whole weekend and she went mad at him. He ran off in the middle of the night and..."

"Oh, God! Where is he? Why hasn't he been in touch?" I almost wailed. "Why didn't he come to me?"

"Hell, Jake, I don't know," Quil frowned, but I noticed he actually looked worried. "I don't get why he didn't take his phone with him."

"Shit," I muttered. "How do you know he didn't?"

"Because his Mom checked it and she gave me an earful for saying 'fuck' in my last text to him."

"Oh, God," I groaned, suddenly realising that if his Mom checked the last couple of messages, she probably checked the rest of them as well. Embry didn't delete the old ones and I knew there were a number of sexy texts I had sent him, plus several saying 'I love you.'

I felt like crying. Where could he be? Why hadn't he just talked to me? If things were that bad for him at home, I would have plucked up the courage to tell Dad what was going on and ask for his help.

"Hey." Quil reached out suddenly and gave my shoulder a squeeze. "I'm sure he's fine. He'll probably call later or something."

"Yeah. I guess. I'm going home."

I turned away from him and walked slowly home, feeling cold and lost and scared. Where was he? I heard nothing all night and when I got up in the morning, having got virtually no sleep again, Dad asked me what was going on.

"You look sick, Jacob, are you alright?" he asked.

"No, I'm fine." I had to say something. "Me and Quil are a bit worried about Embry," I went on. "He disappeared the other night after a fight with his Mom. He didn't even take his phone and no one knows where he is."

"I'm sure he'll turn up. He probably went to stay with a friend."

"Me and Quil are his best friends," I reminded him.

"I know, but I wouldn't worry too much. He maybe didn't want to talk to anyone. Get to school now. He's probably there."

"Yeah, I guess so."

I grabbed my bag and left the house, my heart thumping anxiously. He had to be back. He had to be there waiting with Quil for me to get there. I knew he would be. I had almost convinced myself of that by the time I got to Quil's and then only Quil came out again. I stopped still and waited for him to reach me, wrapping my arms around myself and shivering. He shook his head.

"No sign of him. I called his Mom again and she said she hasn't heard from him."

I started crying. Nothing could possibly have stopped me at that point and tears rolled down my cheeks. I didn't even care that I was behaving like a girl in front of Quil. I was so worried I felt sick and so desperate to see Embry or at least hear from him, that my chest hurt.

"We better ditch school today," Quil said, not taking the opportunity to tease me for once. He grabbed my arm instead and began to lead me away from the street and the houses in the direction of the beach. I sniffled and choked for several minutes until I managed to get control of myself and by then we were out of sight of anyone else.

"Jake, did anything else happen other than Embry fighting with his Mom?" Quil asked. "I mean...at the weekend. Could he be...avoiding you maybe?"

"What? No!" I cried.

"You didn't fall out or anything?"

"No! We slept together! He said he loves me!" I exclaimed and then flushed and shut my mouth.

Even then Quil didn't wind me up. He just sighed heavily and frowned. "I don't get it," he said.

"Oh, shit, what if something happened to him? Maybe he ran off after fighting with his Mom and then something else happened. What if someone hurt him? Didn't his Mom even report him missing?"

"No." Quil shook his head. "She thinks he's just sulking and keeping out of her way for a while."

"Well, then maybe we should call Charlie Swan and tell him," I said. "God, he could be lying somewhere dead!"

"Stop it," said Quil. "He'll be fine."

"What if he's not?"

We decided in the end, as unwise as it probably was, to go and see Embry's Mom and suggest reporting him missing. She really didn't seem to be concerned, but it would have to be her that made an official report if the police were called. I knew Charlie would probably listen to me, but we thought we had still better speak to Tiffany Call first. We went over to the house as soon as we knew she would be home from work, hoping that by some miracle Embry would be there and that we could stop worrying.

"What do you two want?" Ms Call asked, looking annoyed when she opened the door and found Quil and I standing on the porch.

"We're worried about Embry," Quil said. "Has he been in touch yet?"

She ignored his question and glared at me instead. "I don't know how you have the nerve to show up here! Leading Embry astray; he used to be a good boy until you started sending him off the rails!"

I saw Quil smirk despite the awfulness of the situation. Little did Tiffany know that it was over a year since Embry realised he was gay and that it was him liking me that had made me think about it.

"Ms Call, please, just tell us if you know where he is," Quil begged suddenly. "He's our friend; we're worried about him. And people are asking at school where he is."

"He's in Seattle staying with his aunt," she said sharply. "Now, I'd thank you to both leave him alone and get off my property!" The door closed in our faces.

"Do you think that's the truth?" I asked Quil as we walked away.

"I don't know. I thought he ran off in the middle of the night and without even his phone. I can't imagine him suddenly taking off to Seattle."

"Maybe he wanted to get away. Maybe it's me," I said suddenly. "Maybe he regrets it."

I remembered how we had been together, how sweet and how exciting the weekend had been, how he said several times that he loved me, how we parted so reluctantly on Sunday evening. I couldn't believe that in just a few hours he would have changed his mind. Even though his Mom apparently found out and they had a fight, he had said before that he didn't care what she said, he would still be with me.

Suddenly I wanted to get away from Quil and just go and hide in my room. I knew I was going to cry again and I thought I had probably embarrassed myself - and him - quite enough for one day. I told him I would see him at school the next day and we promised to call each other if anything came to light about Embry. Then I walked off as quickly as I could and hurried home.

"That you, Jacob?" Dad called out from the living room as I went in.

"Yeah!" I held my breath, my eyes full of tears, hoping he didn't want me for anything.

"School ok?"

"Yeah. I'm just going to...take a shower."

"Want some dinner?"

"No...thanks, Dad...me and Quil got a burger."

The last word sounded more like a squeak and I shot into the bathroom, closed the door and turned the water on before I broke down. I stripped my clothes off, tears streaming down my face and stepped under the hot water, leaning my head against the tiled wall and trying desperately not to howl so Dad wouldn't hear me. I couldn't bear it. I was sick with worry and scared that something happened to Embry, or otherwise that he changed his mind about being with me and I couldn't stand either option. Pain ripped through me and I slid down to my knees in the shower cubicle and wept as the water cascaded down onto my head. Could I really have lost him forever?


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN

Nothing was heard from Embry for the rest of the week. Since his Mom had said he was in Seattle staying with his aunt, we couldn't very well say anything to Charlie Swan because the first person he would speak to was Tiffany Call and she would tell him the same as she told us. But by Friday night Quil was as worried as I was about his absence. I had barely eaten or slept all week and Dad had begun to worry about me too. I tried to make out I didn't want to eat because my stomach was upset and I guess I looked sick enough to carry it off because he suggested I stay home from school, but I didn't want to just stay home and think. At least while I was at school I had Quil to talk to and other things to keep my mind occupied, although it was pretty difficult to concentrate on lessons when all I wanted to do was scream at the top of my voice.

On Saturday Dad wanted to go into Forks to see Charlie and I was glad of a chance to spend some time with Bella. I made Quil promise to call me if he heard anything about Embry and then I hung out in Bella's room all day while Dad and Charlie gossiped and watched a ball game on television like they always did.

Bella was just as miserable as the last time I had seen her, pining for Edward and apparently having terrible nightmares every night where she would wake up screaming, worrying her Dad and making him think he should send her back to live with her Mom away from the memories. I told her what had happened with Embry and she seemed to think it pretty unlikely that he had run away to avoid me after what I told her about our weekend together. Which left only the option that something had happened to him. If he was ok he would have got in touch with me somehow. That didn't make me feel any better, but at least I was with a friend who knew exactly how I was feeling and we moped together until Dad was ready to go home.

Quil came over on Sunday and we watched DVDs and played computer games to pass the time. He hadn't heard anything from Embry in my absence on Saturday and Sunday ended with still no news. Not knowing was the worst thing. If I only knew he was alright, wherever he was, I thought I could even cope with him saying he didn't want us to be together any more.

On Monday morning I dragged myself out of the house and went to meet Quil, not even hoping that Embry would be waiting there with him. I just knew he wouldn't be and I was right. Quil came out to join me and we didn't even say anything to each other, just walked on to school in unhappy silence. The first lesson of the day was History and then after the morning break it was English. We had been asked to write an essay on Hamlet's state of mind and I hadn't done it. All I had been able to think about was my own state of mind. Quil had done the homework, but was convinced that what he had written was only fit for the garbage.

Usually I sat with Embry in the English class with Quil on the next desk, but that day Quil took Embry's seat instead, leaving the other desk vacant. I pulled the books out of my bag and dumped them on the desk as the teacher came in and instructed us to place our essays on the desk tops for her to collect as she walked up and down the aisles. When she reached my desk, she peered over her spectacles at me.

"Where's your essay, Mr Black?"

"Sorry, Ms Brooks, I didn't do it," I grunted.

"Why not?"

"I was busy."

A couple of people sniggered and Quil elbowed me.

"Mr Black, I will expect your essay tomorrow after school, where you will stay for an hour's detention."

"Fine," I sighed.

"And where is Embry Call this morning?" she went on. "His mother called in last week, but she hasn't so far today."

"I'm here, Ms Brooks, sorry I'm late."

Embry's voice came from the open door and I sucked my breath in hard through my teeth; Quil did the same and we both stared in shock as he made his way to what had been Quil's desk. He had cut his hair; his beautiful long hair now barely reached his collar and his face was pale, eyes huge and dark and - I didn't know quite how to describe it - he looked almost terrified.

"Hurry up and sit down," Ms Brooks told him.

He met my eyes for just a brief second before he reached the desk and then looked away quickly. My stomach turned over and my heart began to hammer wildly. I desperately wanted to talk to him, but now I would have to wait an hour until the end of the lesson or risk another detention on top of the one I already had.

We were instructed to read aloud from the next scene in the play, several kids being given a part to read. Luckily I wasn't one of them and I stared blindly at the book in front of me, barely hearing what anyone was saying. Ms Brooks wasn't really paying attention to the reading either, sitting at her desk writing something. I looked across at Embry who was also just staring at the book unmoving.

"Embry," I whispered.

He didn't move or look at me.

"Em!" I hissed louder.

Quil elbowed me again. "Be quiet," he said softly.

Embry glanced sideways at me at last and met my eyes again. He licked his lower lip nervously and then lowered his eyes again. He looked as if he were about to burst into tears.

"Mr Black! You already have one detention; are you looking for another?" the teacher demanded at that moment.

"Sorry, Ms Brooks." I turned back to the book with a sigh. I was just going to have wait to talk to Embry.

The hour crawled by and I felt so sick with nerves I almost thought I would have to excuse myself at one point and go to the restrooms to throw up. I chewed some gum instead and the feeling subsided a little. Finally the lesson ended, the bell rang and all the kids got up to leave the room for lunch. Embry was gone in the blink of an eye.

"Go after him," Quil said, giving me a light shove and I flew out of the door.

Embry was a little way ahead of me, disappearing down the corridor towards the door leading out to the yard and fields. I followed quickly and caught him up just outside the building. He didn't actually stop until I grabbed his arm and I was horrified. Did he really not want to see me?

"Em, what's going on?" I asked. I wasn't even sure I wanted to hear the answer. "Where have you been?" I added.

"I just...I was at my aunt's," he said. So that was true? I still wasn't sure.

"What happened?" I pressed. "Quil said you had a fight with your Mom about that weekend and ran off. You didn't even take your phone; I've been worried sick about you. Quil has too."

"I'm sorry," he said. He didn't even look at me and I had this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that it was over.

"Will you please talk to me?" I begged. I reached out and took hold of his hand.

"Don't," he said quietly and pulled away from me. "People will look."

"I don't care if they do," I said and took a deep breath. "Are you breaking up with me?"

He was silent for a moment before he answered. "I...I have to."

"Why? Because of your Mom?"

"No. I just can't do this. I don't want to..."

"Em, you said you loved me," I reminded him. "Are you telling me you didn't mean it? Or it just turned off like a faucet?"

"No," he whispered. He turned his face away, but not before I saw a tear spill down his cheek and drip off his chin.

"Stop it," I said. "Come here." I put my hands on his waist and pulled him towards me.

"Jake, please, I can't," he protested painfully, but then contradicted what he had just said by leaning against me and gripping the front of my jacket in both hands, pressing his face into my neck. I wrapped my arms around him and held him tightly. He was shivering and I could feel his tears on my skin. I looked up over his shoulder and spotted Quil a little distance away, watching. He just nodded at me, gave me a thumbs up and then disappeared.

I ran my hand up Embry's back to his neck, finding it strange not to be running my fingers through masses of hair.

"Why did you cut it?" I murmured.

"I don't know, I guess I wanted a change."

"Please tell me what happened," I said after another minute. "I love you; I don't want to lose you. Did I do something wrong?"

Embry pulled back immediately and met my eyes. "You didn't do anything."

"Then what? You don't want me?"

"I..." He broke the eye contact again and hesitated and I wasn't sure if he was just having trouble being honest with me or if he was trying to think up some kind of excuse. Whichever it was, it crushed me. I knew he was going to walk away from me. He began to talk then, quickly as if he were trying to say it before he ran out of courage or something.

"I can't be with you. It's too much; too intense. I thought it was what I wanted, but we rushed into it so much, I got scared. I don't want this."

My heart sank. He regretted it. Despite everything he had said; how he loved me, he couldn't wait to be with me, inviting me to stay over - after all that now he wished we hadn't slept together. Was that all it was? He would break up with me because he felt things had gone too far too soon?

"Em, if that's all it is, we can slow it down," I said. "Maybe we should have waited longer, I don't know. We don't have to do anything, if you just want to date, hang out together..."

He looked so terribly unhappy that I couldn't believe he didn't want this any more, but now he shook his head.

"I don't want to. I just want to go back to how things were before this all happened, if that's even possible. I should never have let you find out I liked you." He bit his lip. "Please, Jacob, just leave it."

I was devastated and I couldn't think of anything else to say, other than beg him to change his mind which he clearly wasn't going to do. I felt as if the bottom had just fallen out of my world. After the past week, somehow I had thought if he turned out to be alright and came back he would just fall into my arms, but all he had been doing during that time was trying to avoid me and figure out how to tell me it was over. And yet I still felt something wasn't right. If he was so keen to finish it, then why had he been crying? Why did he hold onto me even for that brief couple of minutes, as if he didn't want to let go? I just stared at him, completely lost.

"I'm sorry, Jacob," he whispered and turned away from me.

I stayed where I was and watched him walk away. It seemed as if there wasn't anything I could say which would make any difference. He didn't want to be with me. For whatever reason, whether or not what he had told me was the truth, I had lost him.

I was still standing there half an hour later when Quil came to find me.

"What happened?" he asked.

"He broke up with me."

_"What_?_" _Quil looked astonished. "Did he say why?"

"He says we rushed things too much. I'm not sure, but I think there's something else."

"That's insane," said Quil. "He's crazy about you."

"I thought so. Maybe not enough to carry on with it. Will you cover for me? I'm going home."

"Sure. Of course. I'm sorry, Jake."

I left the school a few minutes later and rather than go home, I walked down to the beach. Dad would only ask questions if I went home in the middle of the day and I knew I was going to end up crying again. As if I hadn't already done enough of that over the past week, but I couldn't seem to control myself. Everything I felt was so intense; up until today, worry, fear and longing and now - I felt as if emotionally I had been hit by a truck.

I walked on the sand all afternoon, going over and over what had happened in my mind. I just didn't get it. Only eight days ago Embry had been saying he loved me, that he couldn't wait for the next day to see me. He gave me the engraved watch, for God's sake. He gave me himself. And then suddenly it was all too much and he wanted to run away from it. There had to be more to it, but what? I had no answers and eventually I just went home. Dad was out and had left a note saying Harry Clearwater had collected him for the evening and that I should order a pizza if I wanted. He had left some money with the note.

I didn't bother with pizza. I made some toast and forced myself to eat it while I made an effort to write the essay on Hamlet. It was the last thing I felt like doing, but I didn't want more trouble at school on top of everything else. I knew it was probably only worth a Grade D at best, but it was as much as I could manage. I shoved it into my bag ready to take to school the next day and then went to bed. It was barely even six o'clock, but all I wanted to do was lie in the dark and wallow in self pity. I knew I was being pathetic, but I couldn't help it.

Somehow I must have slept and when I woke the next day I had a pounding headache and was immediately hit by the pain I felt over Embry. I rolled over with a groan and buried my face in the pillow. I knew I had to pull myself together and get on with it. I stayed there another half hour, then got up, showered, ate some cereal and set off to school. Quil came out and met me and said he hadn't heard anything from Embry. I wasn't really surprised, but I hoped Embry wasn't just going to avoid me from then on. Maybe he just needed some space.

I saw Embry in two of my classes that day and he did speak to me a few times. We sat next to each other so he couldn't really avoid me, but he did look a little uncomfortable. I tried to pretend I was ok with everything to make him feel better, but he looked so miserable that the whole situation continued not to make sense to me. I didn't ask him about it, but I watched him out of the corner of my eye and he constantly seemed to be darting little glances at me. I tried telling myself he just needed some time; that if I left him alone it would get better again between us.

Things stayed the same for the rest of the week. Embry started going over to Quil's before school again so the three of us walked there together, but when I got Quil alone he said he had done his best to make Embry talk properly, but he just wouldn't. Then on Saturday I got a further shock. I suggested that the pair of them come over to my house to hang out and Quil agreed at once. Embry just said 'maybe', but when Saturday came and I waited in anticipation for them to arrive, only Quil appeared.

"Sorry," he said. "I called him earlier. He said he had something else to do."

"Shit," I muttered. "Oh, well. I guess he has his reasons. You want to go down to the beach?"

"Sure."

We walked down to the sand and wandered along, talking and throwing pebbles into the sea for maybe forty minutes. We had gone quite a distance from the local beach we normally hung out on and we turned to go back, walking more quickly in the sudden cold head-wind. Fifteen or twenty minutes later as we rounded an outcrop of rock, we spotted three figures in the distance - three young males in cut-offs without shirts. They were climbing on the rocks which ran down into the sea and I guessed it was Sam Uley and his two lap dogs, fooling about as they had when Embry and I saw them.

"God, those guys must be freezing," Quil said. "Is that Paul Lahote?"

"Yeah, and Jared. Me and Embry saw them cliff-diving with Sam Uley once. It's like some weird little cult they've got going. The pair of them seem to do any crazy thing Sam says."

"Yeah, but that's not Sam, he's much taller than that," Quil said.

We both stared harder, still too far away to make much out clearly. Then I realised.

"Fuck," I said bitterly. "It's Embry."


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN

I didn't understand why Embry had suddenly taken to spending time with Paul and Jared. I hadn't even been aware he knew them that well, but I did know that he found Paul intimidating. So why was he suddenly hanging out with them and half naked too? It only added more confusion to that I was already feeling. Did he like one of them maybe? I was pretty sure Paul and Jared were both straight, but then Embry had thought I was once; it didn't stop him liking me and eyeing me from a distance. I agonised over it for the rest of the day although I didn't say anything to Quil about what I was thinking. I confided in Bella instead.

She drove over the next day in the beat up old truck Charlie had bought her and revealed that she had brought with her two dead motorcycles she had picked up from a wreckers yard. She was still miserable and wanted a project to take her mind off of it; well, a project for me to do while she watched. I teased her about it and then considered how to get the bikes out of the truck. I guessed if I dropped the tailgate down I could just drag them out. Falling three feet to the ground wasn't going to damage them any more than they already were. I decided to test the weight first though and grabbed hold of one of them. It didn't weigh half as much as I expected and I lifted it out of the truck, wondering for a moment if it was missing its engine, but quickly noticing it wasn't. Weird. Bella joked about my apparent sudden muscle growth and I brushed it off, but I did think it curious. It hardly seemed any time at all since I had been looking in the mirror thinking I ought to start working out, trying to catch up with Embry, and suddenly I was..._buff_, Bella had said. She wasn't looking and I glanced down at myself, flexing one arm. My biceps and the muscles in my forearms bulged under the fabric of the sweatshirt I was wearing and my eyes widened. I pulled the front of the shirt up and looked down, immediately seeing perfectly defined abs - eight, just like Embry's. When did that happen exactly? I hadn't even seen them when I had showered, but I had been so distressed over the past week and a half, I doubted I would have noticed if one of my arms had been amputated.

Bella was saying something and I forgot about it, dropping my shirt quickly and pushing the bike towards the shed to start work. The project, I knew, was going to be a Godsend. It was exactly the type of thing I loved - fixing up a dead vehicle and making it live again - and it was going to give me something to focus on, help me take my mind off the fact that Embry was cavorting about on the beach with Paul and Jared. I growled under my breath, angry rather than hurt at that moment. Even that surprised me. It took a lot to make me even a tiny bit angry.

"What's wrong, Jake?" Bella asked. "Is it Embry?"

"Yeah." I sat down with a sigh beside the bike to start stripping it down and told her what had been happening since I last spoke to her. She was shocked to hear that Embry had broken up with me and started spending his time with Sam Uley's gang.

"Aren't they those guys who cliff-dive?" she asked. "I've seen them, they're crazy."

"Yeah. That's them. Seems like suddenly Embry would rather be with them than me."

I spent the rest of the day working on the bike, Bella and I talking constantly and trying to stick to more cheerful subjects, but Embry and Edward continually returned to the conversation and if I looked anything like she did, I guessed I probably looked like I wanted to curl up and die.

The next week at school was no different. I spent most of my time with Quil, while Embry hung out with Paul and Jared, although he continued to sit by me when we were in the same classes. I tried talking to him a few times, but although he responded he was cool towards me. At least what he said and the way he said it were cool - on the rare occasions when he met my eyes he still looked as if he wanted to throw himself into my arms and I only grew more confused.

On Saturday Bella came over early again to work on the bikes and a couple of hours later, to my intense surprise, Quil and Embry turned up. Embry seemed pretty reluctant, as if he would rather be anywhere else than in my shed and I wondered if he even thought about what had happened between us in there any more. He looked uncomfortable and hot and after a few minutes pulled off the thin sweatshirt he was wearing to reveal a sleeveless t-shirt underneath and...a tattoo.

"What the fuck is that?" Quil exclaimed at once. "Sorry, Bella. Foul mouth." He turned to Embry again. "You got a tattoo?"

"It's nothing. Just a tribal thing."

Embry looked at his feet and I continued to stare. Why the hell would he get a tattoo? And what tattooist who valued his business would tattoo a fifteen-year-old kid? Not that Embry looked fifteen any more. Damn Sam Uley and his cohorts; they were turning Embry into a copy of themselves. If only he would talk to me properly; even if we could be proper friends again it would better than this. I eyed Quil pleadingly and unusually for him he took the hint quickly, surreptitiously elbowed Bella and disappeared outside with her after a moment. Embry glanced after them anxiously and then turned to look at me although he didn't speak. He didn't seem to know what to say to me.

"Why are you hanging out with those two jerks?" I blurted out.

I felt a brief pulse of anger again and my temperature rose. I peeled off my own sweatshirt, thinking that I really needed to get some more clothes. The t-shirt I was wearing underneath was so tight now, stretched over my pecs and shoulders, the short sleeves pinching my biceps. I saw Embry's eyes widen and he bit his lip. I wasn't even sure he had heard what I said.

"You said you wanted things to be like they used to be," I added.

He flushed and stuffed his hands into his jeans pockets. "I did...do."

"It doesn't seem like it. You're practically turning into one of them. I miss you, Em." I didn't mean to say that, it just slipped out.

"I miss you too," Embry said, barely above a whisper. He met my eyes properly for the first time in what seemed like ages and my heart skipped. He still had feelings for me. His eyes were warm with it and it was written all over his face. We just stared at each other for a long moment and I wanted to say something else; anything that might make him come back to me, but the only thing that came into my mind was 'I love you' and somehow I was sure it would send him running. So I said nothing and simply held his eyes until he eventually dropped them away.

"Spend some time with me," I said softly. "Just friends, if that's what you want."

"I..." He licked his lips nervously. "I can't, Jake, I'm sorry, I've got stuff to do."

"Like what?"

"Just stuff. Sorry. Look, I better go. I'll see you at school."

He turned and walked out of the shed leaving me crushed - again. Coupled with anger it burned through me and I leaped to my feet, the wrench I was holding flying out of my hand and hitting the wall a second later.

"_Fuck!"_ I growled. Rage overtook pain and I snatched up something else to throw. As it hit the wall in almost the same place as the wrench, Quil and Bella appeared in the doorway.

"Jake, what happened?" Quil asked.

"Nothing!"

"What did Embry say?"

"_Nothing!"_ I roared. "He fucking said nothing! It was his eyes that were saying it and he still fucking walks away from me!"

"Woah, buddy, calm down," said Quil, taking a tentative step towards me. "What's gotten into you? You never lose it like this."

"Well, maybe I'm just sick of being fucked with!"

I was panting, sweat pouring off me and soaking my t-shirt and I glanced from Quil to Bella and back again. Both looked pretty alarmed and I tried to make myself relax. What the hell was wrong with me? I was burning up and I felt as if I was about to explode into a thousand pieces. I could never remember being this angry about anything and it scared the shit out of me. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply for a moment, then opened them again, pulled off my wet t-shirt and used it to wipe my face and arms as best I could. I dropped it on the ground and put my sweatshirt back on.

"I'm sorry, guys, I really am," I said. "I don't know what got into me."

"You still love him. It's ok." Bella came to me and wrapped her arms around my waist, hugging me, apparently unconcerned about me being so furious and sweaty. "I'm so sorry."

They stayed with me all day. I went into the house briefly to take a shower and put on some fresh clothes, then ordered pizza for lunch. Surprisingly I had a huge appetite all of a sudden and gobbled up more than half the sixteen inch loaded pizza before Quil and Bella had got through two slices each. I noticed them exchanging glances a couple of times, but I didn't really blame them. They must think I was nuts losing it like that, sweating like a pig, swearing and throwing things and suddenly wanting to eat until I almost made myself sick.

Bella came back on Sunday to spend the day with me again and we worked on the bikes until mid-afternoon, then went for a quick drive in the Rabbit. It had only taken me eight lessons to be completely road legal and despite my misery I was keen to take her out in the car. We drove along the cliff road and as we rounded the bend I spotted four figures in the distance, wearing only shorts, fooling around on the edge of the drop.

"Oh, God." I parked the car up and got out. Bella joined me.

"Is that Sam Uley and his friends?" she asked.

"Yeah. And Embry's with them. I can't believe he's doing this. All of it. Hanging out with them, the tattoo and...oh, _shit!"_

I watched in horror as Embry sprang backwards off the edge of the cliff, somersaulted and hurtled towards the water below. I ran to the edge and looked over, my heart in my mouth. He was down there, floating on his back and waving.

"Come on, you pussies!" he yelled.

Embry would never say that. Not in a million years. I felt like I didn't even know him any more. Sam was turning him into another one of his disciples and I couldn't do anything to stop it. I turned away and walked back to the car.

The next few weeks followed in much the same way. I saw Embry at school, but he kept a wall up between us most of the time. There were still times when he met my eyes and I could swear I saw love there, but he always looked away quickly and then avoided me for a while. I spent a lot of time hanging out with Quil after school and every weekend with Bella, finishing the bikes and comforting each other over our respective heartaches. It didn't get any better for either of us. Bella said she still felt as if part of her was missing and that without Edward, that hole inside her was never going to be filled. It was the same for me. I almost felt as if Embry had reached into my chest, grabbed my heart in his fist and crushed it. I couldn't move on. Every time he stared at me with that look in his eyes, I just knew it wasn't over.

Dad questioned me a few times about what was going on with me and I knew the change in me was obvious. My sulky bad temper, the muscle growth, the fact that I spent more time with Bella than anyone else when it had always been Embry and Quil I was with every spare minute. I told Dad that was because I was trying to cheer Bella up after her loss of Edward, but it didn't explain to him the other changes in me. A couple of days after that, he tried to persuade me to extend my circle of friends a little and suggested I spend time with Paul and Jared.

"What? I'm not interested in them, they're a pair of meat-heads!" I exclaimed. I wasn't sure if he knew Embry had become part of their little gang or not, but he didn't mention it and nor did I. I was just astonished that he would even try to push me towards guys I thought most parents would have preferred me to avoid.

Finally on the first weekend in March I decided to try one more time to do something about the situation with Embry. Talk to him, away from everyone else, somehow make him be honest with me. I asked Quil to help me out; to find out when Embry was going to be home without his Mom being there and let me know. Quil called me on the Saturday afternoon, right after I put the bikes back in the shed after having banned Bella from ever riding again. They were finished and we had tried riding, but rather than be careful and take it slow, she shot off down the road, took a spill and cut her head. Horrified, I told her bike riding was over for her and that if she wanted to hang out with me, we would find something else to do. I drove her truck to Forks, concerned she might not be fit to drive with the lump on her head, then caught a bus back to La Push and went home. My cell rang as I walked in the door.

"Embry's Mom's gone to Seattle overnight again," Quil said. "He's home right now, I saw him come back a minute ago."

"What are you doing, staking out his house?" I asked.

"Yeah, something like that," laughed Quil.

"Ok, thanks. I'll go over there."

Five minutes later I was knocking on the door. Embry opened it after a few moments. He was wearing only cargo pants, his upper body damp with sweat. Much to my surprise, his eyes lit up and he grinned.

"Hey," I said, smiling back. "How are you?"

"Um..." The grin vanished as quickly as it had appeared and he dropped his eyes away from mine. Damnit. "I'm ok," he added.

"Can I talk to you?"

He hesitated again, chewing his lip, then stepped sideways out of the way.

"Yeah. Come in."

I walked past him and he closed the door, then followed me into the living room.

"Not with Sam and his gang today, then?" I commented.

"No. They're not that bad, you know, Jake, maybe you should just come over and hang out with them," he said.

"I don't think so."

"Sam's pretty keen to meet you."

"What? Why?" I frowned. "What is it with everybody? My Dad suggested I spend some time with Paul and Jared not long ago. I'm not interested in being part of your new gang, Embry, I just want to be with you."

"I know. I'm sorry," he said.

"It seems to me like you're saying one thing and wanting something else," I said, moving towards him. "Your eyes tell me the opposite to what comes out of your mouth."

"Don't."

Embry backed away until he bumped into the wall. He glanced up again, as nervous as I'd ever seen him. He was breathing fast, lips parted slightly, his eyes darting about and doing their best to avoid mine. I had to try something; I was so sure that he still wanted me. Maybe I was just going to fuck things up even more than they already were, but it was worth a try. I took another step closer and this time, with the wall at his back, he had nowhere to go. I lifted my hand to touch his face, trying to make him look at me, but he half closed his eyes and turned his head a little to the side. He was trembling and I leaned closer.

"Tell me, honestly, that you really don't want this," I murmured, brushing my lips against his ear.

"Jacob..."

"Tell me."

I kissed his neck, right beneath his ear lobe and he whimpered and shivered. I put my other hand on his waist, slid it around to his back and pulled him against my body. I could feel his heart hammering against my chest, his dick stiffening in the loose pants, but still he tried to deny it.

"Please, Jake, don't, I can't do this."

I had no idea why. His body wanted me to keep doing what I was doing, but he was fighting it. It didn't make sense and I ignored what he was saying and went with the reaction I was getting from him. I covered his mouth with mine, thrusting my tongue in, tasting, exploring, holding him tighter against me until suddenly he melted and began to kiss me back. He slid his arms up around my neck, pressing himself against me, responding to me almost desperately as if he had been longing for me to kiss him since the last time right after my birthday seven weeks ago. I began to manoeuvre him out of the room and towards his bedroom, our lips still clinging, little whimpers and groans coming from Embry's throat as I slid my hands down to his butt, holding him so that he could feel how hard I was; how much I wanted him.

We fell onto the bed and I didn't even bother to undress properly. I unfastened Embry's pants and pulled them off with one hand while I continued kissing him, bruising his lips with mine, biting at his neck, then unzipping my jeans quickly and pulling my erection out of my underwear. I glanced around me, spotted lube on the bed table and reached out for it. Embry's eyes opened slowly and he looked up at me, his pupils so widely dilated that the dark chocolate irises were completely obscured.

"Jacob..."

"Sshh." I slicked lube onto myself, pushing his legs apart with my knee.

"We have to stop." He placed one hand on my chest as if to push me away.

"Tell me...that you don't want me," I panted. He was going to say no to me _now?_ When everything about him was begging for it?

"I..." He closed his eyes again. "I can't." His hand slid up my chest to my neck, rather than push me away.

I guided myself into him, an inch at a time, gently until I was all the way in and he stopped protesting, folding both arms and legs around me as I began to fuck him, carefully at first and then harder as he dug his nails into my back through my shirt, his teeth nipping at my neck, his body thrusting up against mine.

"Oh, God...yes..." he groaned.

I tucked one hand under him, lifting him so I could get just another half inch deeper and with only a couple more thrusts I came, spurting into him, feeling his own cum on my stomach. Then I lay still, letting my weight sink slowly onto him and opening my eyes. His head was turned to the side and his face was wet with tears. My heart clenched and I was filled with alarm. He was crying? It didn't look like tears of pleasure either; his expression was agonised. I pulled out of him slowly and slid off him, resting my hand lightly on his stomach.

"Oh, Jesus, Em, did I hurt you?" I gasped. I was horrified.

"No," he whispered and rolled away from me, curling up on his side, his tears beginning to soak the pillow. "Please, Jacob...you have to go. Please."

I stayed there another minute, shocked, hurt, disbelieving. I knew he loved me; I _knew_ it. I could feel it in every look he gave me, in his kiss, in the way he wrapped himself around me, but already he regretted it and I felt sick. Why couldn't he tell me what was wrong? I slid off the bed slowly and fastened my jeans, almost feeling as if I had assaulted him. I couldn't think of a single word to say to him and I slowly walked out of the room and made my way to the front door. I opened it and stepped out and a second before I closed it again behind me, I heard him begin to sob.


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER TWELVE

I didn't go home. I longed to go and get in the shower and scrub myself raw, but I didn't want to face Dad when I was so shaken up by what had happened. Had I been wrong after all? Had he really tried to stop it happening and I ignored him? I knew that wasn't the case. He had wanted it as much as I did, despite the initial protest. He had been wrapped around me as tight as he could get, holding onto me like he never wanted to let go.

_"Oh, God...yes.._" I could still hear his voice in my head and I was beyond confused. He had been pushing me away since right after my birthday when he had disappeared for that week and somehow I knew he hadn't been in Seattle with his aunt. Now he was saying no to me and yet responding as if he couldn't get enough. I couldn't figure it out, but I was determined to get to the bottom of it. Maybe it was time I paid a little visit to his new friends to find out exactly what was going on with them, over there at Sam Uley's house.

I didn't actually pluck up the courage to go until Sunday. I spent the rest of Saturday on the beach, a few hours alone and then with Quil after he sent me a text to ask where I was and what happened. I wasn't sure if I should tell him or not when he came to meet me. I almost felt ashamed of what I'd done and was embarrassed to confess that to Quil, even though he had got used to me whining about Embry by now and knew most of the details.

"What happened?" he asked me when he arrived. "You look like shit."

"Yeah, thanks, Quil," I grunted. "I feel like shit."

"So? Did you talk to him?"

"Not much."

"Well, wasn't that the point?"

"Yeah, but he wouldn't say anything. Other than that I should go hang out with his weird new friends."

"Oh, great, they're trying to get you to join the cult, are they?" Quil almost laughed. "Are you sure they haven't brainwashed him somehow? He's not himself."

"No, he's not," I said. "I'm going to see what I can find out tomorrow. I'm going to see Sam Uley."

"Seriously? You want me to go too?" offered Quil.

"No, this is something I have to sort out on my own."

"Ok. Well, let me know."

It was Sunday afternoon before I went out and as I walked towards the house at the edge of the woods, my stomach filled with butterflies and my heart thumped unevenly. I was very nervous and I wondered what my reception was going to be. Embry and Dad had both suggested I try getting to know the guys and now I was on my way to do just that, I was scared. I wondered if Embry would be there or if it would only be Sam. They all seemed to spend Sundays together, from what I'd seen of them so far.

The house seemed deserted when I got there. No truck or car stood outside and there was no sign of life. I stepped up onto the porch and knocked anyway, but didn't get an answer. I walked down the steps again thinking I would just leave, but then the faint sound of voices reached my ears. It seemed to be coming from the back of the house and I turned left and made my way along the house wall, then left again down the end of the building. I stopped before I reached the rear corner, instinct telling me I was going to learn more if whoever was talking didn't know I was there.

"...it's kind of awkward. I don't want to keep going on about it when Sam's around; it's bound to be bugging him." It was Jared's voice and I frowned as I listened, curious to know what they were talking about.

"Yeah, but it might not even be Sam's Dad," Paul's voice answered. "If we could find out the truth and it's not him, Sam could chill about it."

"It must be a bit of a bummer though, to find out your Dad's been fucking around with a Makah tramp and you got a brother you never knew you had," Jared said. "I don't even know what Sam's Dad looks like; he left La Push when we were babies. I mean since the only families with the gene are the Uleys, the Atearas and the Blacks, it has to be one of them. I know Quil's Dad died, but he looked pretty much like his Gramps. Do you think Embry looks anything like either him or Jake's Dad?"

"Hell, I don't know. There's only one of them we could actually ask about it and can you imagine Billy Black owning up to cheating on his dead wife?"

"There's always Embry's Mom."

"Yeah, like she'd confess to being a homewrecker. She had a hard enough time being accepted here as it was, from what Sam says. She's not going to fuck things up for herself now."

"Embry must be feeling pretty shit, wondering who he's actually related to. His Mom could have at least told him."

I tuned the voices out. What were they saying? I tried to put it all in order. Embry was Makah - or at least everyone always thought he was. But now it seemed he was half Quileute and that his father was either Sam's Dad, or Quil's...or mine? Embry could be my _brother?_

How could that be? Did Dad cheat on Mom four months after I was conceived? Had she known? I just couldn't picture Dad doing something like that. The possible involvement of Josh Uley and Quil Ateara IV went completely out of my head and all I could think about was that I could be related to Embry. _Could be_ quickly changed to _probably_ in my mind; I always saw the worst in everything if at all possible. I was _probably_ related to Embry. I turned and began to run back the way I had come, my stomach churning, heart pounding. I did things nobody should do with their brother and I was going to be sick.

I skidded to a stop and bent over, vomiting violently onto the grass in front of me until there was nothing left in my stomach and my eyes were watering. Embry knew. He knew yesterday when I was with him, when he said no and then gave in anyway. Now everything had begun to make sense and I was horrified. How long had he known? Probably since the day after our weekend together if his subsequent behaviour was anything to go by.

Rage filled me and overtook the panic and pain and sickness boiling inside me. How the fuck could he have let that happen? I began to walk away as fast as I could and then halted quickly again as I suddenly came face to face with Embry heading in the other direction. Right at that moment he was the last person on earth I wanted to see. He stopped a few feet away from me, his face pale and scared looking and I lost my temper.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I cried. "You knew!"

"I only found out recently," said Embry shakily. He knew exactly what I had heard.

"How recently?"

"Um..."

_"How recently!"_ I yelled.

"Sunday night, after your birthday."

"So you knew! All this time! Yesterday when we were together, you knew I could be your..._brother! Why didn't you stop me?"_

I was screaming and I was well aware that Paul and Jared could probably hear every word even from behind the house, but I just didn't care. I was completely out of control - scared, sickened, furious, devastated - and I felt like I wanted to kill him with my bare hands. I'd never been violent, never wanted to hurt anyone, and this new feeling shook me up even more. Where was this incredible anger coming from? The fact that Embry had been trying to keep me at a distance for weeks didn't register at that moment and somehow I had also forgotten that really there was only a one in three chance we were related.

"I tried." A tear spilled over and slid down Embry's cheek. Another quickly followed it and almost at once they were tracking down his face like rivers.

"_Well, you didn't try very hard, did you?" _I snarled at him.

I shuddered and my stomach rolled. I was going to be sick again; I could feel my gorge rising and I grew hotter and hotter, sweat bursting out of every pore in my body. How could I deal with something like this? It was bad enough that we could be related at all, that Dad may have betrayed Mom, but the fact that Embry _knew_...

I bent over, expecting myself to vomit, but what happened was that everything spun around me and suddenly I was changing...changing shape? I dropped to my hands and knees and looked down at myself, seeing large russet-coloured furry paws where my hands should have been.

_"What the hell?" _I gasped.

It was my voice, but inside my head, not out loud. I was a wolf; a fucking huge red wolf and Embry was standing in front of me with a terrified look on his face. I let out a growl of rage and sprang at him without even a thought. He jumped to the side a split second before I hit him and in an instant he wasn't Embry any more, but a grey wolf, a little smaller than me and I could hear his thoughts.

_"Please, Jake, I'm sorry. I love you. I didn't mean for this to happen."_

I turned my head to look at him. His dark wolf eyes had the same look in them that his human eyes had the times he had said he loved me and I threw myself at him, revulsion and fury rolling through me. I hit him with as much force as I could muster from a single spring and knocked him off his feet. He rolled onto his back and thrust his front paws upwards to ward me off. Shaking with rage I plunged my head down, snapping at him, not quite able to reach.

_"Don't, Jacob, please, we can talk about this..."_

_"I'm done talking! You wouldn't say a word when I wanted you to! You're a fucking freak! Hell, I'm a freak. How the hell did I get to be a wolf? How did this happen?"_ My thoughts jumped from one thing to the other and back. I felt as if I was losing my mind.

Embry's paws stopped shoving against my chest and I thrust my head down instinctively and sank my teeth into his neck. I felt them break through skin and flesh, the taste of salty coppery blood flooding my mouth. A shrill whine filled my ears and Embry lashed out with his paws again, clawing at me desperately.

_"Jake...stop...please..."_

I forced my jaws closer together, ignoring him, still too shocked to realise just what I was doing.

_"Jacob! Let him go and back away! Now!"_

The deep rumbling voice in my head was Sam's. I couldn't see him and I didn't actually know his voice, but something inside me told me it was him. I froze and then slowly began to release Embry. I found there was nothing I could do to resist Sam's order and I backed off one step at a time. Embry rolled onto his side, panting and choking, blood staining his grey fur. I turned towards the huge black wolf behind me and the reason for my attack on Embry faded from my mind temporarily.

_"What happened? I'm a wolf? The legend's true?" _

Dad had a book about the history of the Quileutes, how they descended from wolves, and could turn into them to protect the tribe from the threat of...vampires? I had always thought it was just a story, but obviously I was wrong. I knew I wasn't dreaming. No one could dream such an agonising horror story as this.

_"Yes, it's true. I would have told you, but it happened to you sooner than I expected. Painful situations often do that."_

I turned my head and glanced back at Embry. He was himself again, lying naked on his side with his arms wrapped around himself, shivering and crying, the scar of a rapidly healing wound visible on his neck. I jerked my head away. I couldn't bring myself to keep looking at him, but at the same time guilt that I had hurt him so badly made my heart ache.

Paul and Jared appeared at that moment, Jared with a pair of shorts in his hand. They both ran to Embry and I ignored them. I had to get away from all of this. I needed to stop thinking, somehow. I turned and ran.

_"Jacob!"_

Sam's voice echoed in my head, but even he couldn't stop my flight. I bounded into the woods, tearing through the trees, paws covering the ground beneath me in giant leaps until I was far from La Push and everyone in it. No one followed me; not even Sam.

Four days later I was still a wolf. I had paced about constantly for most of that time, occasionally lying down to rest, but mostly just pacing and thinking. I had no idea what to do. I was still in shock from everything that had happened and I couldn't even let myself think about Embry. I shoved him into the furthest corner of my mind and slammed the door on him, too scared to consider any longer how I actually felt about him.

It was the morning of the fifth day when Sam found me. It was just past dawn and I had been sleeping fitfully when I suddenly opened my eyes and sensed his powerful presence. I stayed where I was and waited for him. Although I was tempted to get up and run again, I needed someone to help me and who else could I go to?

_"Jacob."_

Sam reached the shrubs under which I rested and halted a few feet away, ears pricked forwards as he looked down at me. It seemed strange to be looking up at such a huge and impressive creature without fear, knowing I was the same. It was clear that communication was by thought and I did my best not to let the desperate muddle in my head out so that he could hear it.

_"Come back with me,"_ he said.

_"I can't."_ The thought filled me with horror. _"Embry's my brother!"_ I couldn't prevent it escaping and I lowered my eyes from his in embarrassment.

_"No one knows who Embry's father is, except for his mother. The only one who can tell you what you want to know is your own father."_

_"I can't ask him that!" _I thought in panic.

_"You won't need to. He'll talk to you when you get home; I called him. He'll tell you about Embry and everything you want to know about us - the shape-shifters. But you must come back with me."_

_"What did you tell him? Surely not..." _I cut the thought off quickly and buried it.

_"I just told him that the mystery of Embry's parentage is causing trouble for you and the pack."_

I whimpered miserably. I was actually scared to know the truth. I didn't want to hear Dad say that he went behind Mom's back with another woman while she had been carrying me. And I didn't want him to confirm that what I did with Embry was so wrong. I lay there a few more minutes and Sam said nothing more. I knew I couldn't stay where I was forever and eventually I got to my feet and shook myself.

_"Ready to go?"_

_"Yeah."_ I waited as Sam turned away and then followed him slowly down the path in the direction he had come from.

It was dusk when we reached La Push and I realised I must have run a lot further than I thought. Sam had explained a lot more about the shape-shifters and the act of phasing - actually turning from human to wolf and back again - on the journey and the reason for the sudden emergence of the new wolf pack within the tribe. Vampires were coming and we needed to be ready to protect the tribe from them. That part still sounded like something of a fairy story to me, but when I looked down my own nose and saw a russet furred muzzle with a black snout, and glanced behind me to see an enormous wolf's body covered in rather shaggy fur, I couldn't really convince myself that the rest of the story wasn't also true.

In addition Sam told me about Imprinting - fate selecting for you a mate who you would only be parted from by death; that once it happened that person became your whole world and your reason for living. Sam had Imprinted on Emily, even though he had been in love with Leah Clearwater at the time and the triangle had caused immense pain for all three of them. None of what he was telling me filled me with hope and I wished fervently that I hadn't had to be part of all this.

_"You need to cut your hair,"_ Sam advised at one point as we walked together, his tone sounding as if he were grinning. _"Your human hair."_

I realised immediately why Embry had cut his hair and that he must have phased for the first time right after my birthday, probably prompted by the fight with his Mom when she got back from Seattle. Now I knew what we were, I would have bet anything he wasn't in Seattle with his aunt that week.

_"He was with Emily and me."_

_"Damnit. I have to keep my thoughts to myself."_

_"It's alright, Jacob, you'll get used to it,"_ Sam said. _"It is possible to block thoughts from the others although it takes some practise. Paul's pretty good, but even I can't do it well."_

_"Well, I managed to stop myself thinking about...shit!"_

I heard Sam's deep laugh in my head and then he halted suddenly and I realised we were outside the rear door of his house. A light was shining through the kitchen window and I dropped into a crouch, horrified at the thought of being seen by anyone, even if it was only Paul and Jared who were the same as I was.

_"It's just Emily."_ Sam moved closer to the door and transformed rapidly back into a human as I watched, stunned. Naked, he pushed the door open. "Hey, babe, it's only me."

"Here you go."

Emily passed him a pair of shorts and he pulled them on, then took another pair, came back outside and closed the door after him. He had already told me how to phase back by imagining yourself human, picturing it so vividly you could see it; feel it. He had warned me I might find it difficult at first, but as he turned towards me with the shorts in his hand, suddenly I found myself crouching on the ground naked, my hair loose and tangled around my face and my fingers pressed into the dirt. I took the shorts quickly and pulled them on.

"Come in and clean up before you go home," Sam told me and I did as he said.

Emily had left the room when I went inside and she didn't emerge while I was there. Sam told me he would introduce me to her soon when I next visited. I left him minutes later, having put on my own shoes which someone had apparently found in the meadow after I first phased. I jogged home, growing more and more nervous with every step and then hovering outside the door when I got there, too afraid to go in and find out what Dad had to tell me. He opened the door himself a minute later.

"Sam called to say you were on your way," he said. "Come inside."

My heart began to hammer and I closed the door after me, following him into the living room. I wondered how much he knew about what had happened with Embry. Would Sam have told him what went on before I ran away? Somehow I didn't think he was he type to gossip unless it was absolutely necessary. I didn't look at Dad. I didn't want to see his face when he told me he was Embry's Dad too.

"Jacob, listen to me, son," he said. "There's something I need to tell you."

I sat down slowly. I was shaking and I didn't want to hear him confirm what I thought I already knew, because that would make it real and I didn't know how I would be able to face it, but I knew I would have to sit there and listen. I squeezed by eyes shut and waited for Dad to start talking.


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

"Jacob, look at me," said Dad.

I opened my eyes again slowly and looked up at him.

"I loved your mother," he began. "Body and soul, from the day I met her to the day I scattered earth onto her coffin. I never once looked at another woman when I was with her and haven't since. She was my life. I'm not Embry's father, Jacob - Josh Uley is."

We weren't related? We hadn't done anything wrong after all? My heart which had been thumping raggedly, almost seemed to stop before it lurched on again faster than before.

"How...how do you know it's him?" I stammered.

"Because he told me before he left. Josh and I were good friends at one time, but he was always a bit of a fly-by-night. He didn't stay faithful for even six months after he married Allison. Tiffany Call was only one in a long line of women he entertained himself with. Allison caught him out once playing too close to home and he went further afield after that - to the Makah tribe in Neah Bay. He told me Tiffany was pregnant right before Allison finally kicked him out and I haven't seen or heard from him since."

"Why did Tiffany leave her own tribe and come here?" I asked.

"Her parents were very set in their ways and they gave her a choice; leave or give up the baby. She didn't want to give him up, so she came here. It was the only place she could think of."

"Her being here must have been hard on Sam's Mom," I said.

"Allison doesn't know. I'm the only one who does and your Mom did, of course. That's why Tiffany never told Embry who his father is. It was hard enough for her to settle in here with people seeing her as an outsider, so she didn't want to make things more difficult for herself or Embry by mentioning Josh."

I dropped my head into my hands. I was flooded with relief, but at the same time pain knifed through me as I thought about what I had done to Embry. I could have killed him; the one person I loved more than anyone else; even more than Dad. How could I ever take that back?

I burst into tears and began to sob, letting out all the painful emotions I had suffered over the past few days, which had stayed mostly locked inside while I was in my wolf form. Dad simply sat there in silence, reaching out a hand to rest on my shoulder, waiting for me to get it together so that I could talk to him properly - about everything.

It took me a few minutes before I was able to speak and then much to my surprise Dad passed me an open bottle of beer he had been drinking. I swallowed some and scrubbed a hand over my eyes.

"There's some things I need to tell you too," I said. I might as well get it all out in the open, although I was still worried about his reaction.

"Go on." He took the beer back and had a mouthful.

I hesitated. What should I say? Beat about the bush? Drop hints? Try to make light of it? Just say it.

"I'm gay," I blurted. "And I love Embry."

I looked down at the floor. He would hate hearing that; I knew he would.

"I'm not blind, Jacob," he said quietly. "Do you think I've just ignored you over the past few months? How you've been behaving; how you suffered since your birthday?"

"You knew?"

"Not right away, but yes, I caught on eventually."

"Oh, God," I groaned.

"Did you think I'd be angry with you? Or ashamed?" Dad went on. "I love you, son. I'm not going to judge you, or criticise you for being yourself. I just wish you felt you could talk to me before. And I wish I'd known there was gossip about where Embry came from; I would have told you sooner. Sam didn't even tell me Embry had phased until you ran away; he's obviously having difficulty getting his head around this too."

I looked up at last. He was smiling at me and I couldn't believe it. I hesitantly told him a little more, about how I found out Embry liked me and the agony I had gone through since he disappeared for a week and then broke up with me when it was clear he didn't want to. Dad was sympathetic to it all and I wondered why I had ever worried about what his reaction would be. He had always supported me, been there for me whatever I did, so why should this have been any different?

Eventually the conversation turned to my own absence after I'd run away following the fight with Embry and Dad told me he had called the school to say I had gone down with a severe bout of influenza and couldn't get out of bed. He had told Quil the same thing and I knew I would have to carry on the story, much as I didn't want to lie to Quil. He had been such a good friend to me through all of this and now I was going to have to make excuses to him as Embry had been doing to both of us. In addition to what Dad said, Sam had been very firm in his instructions that I talk to no one outside of the pack about the shape-shifters, so I continued with the story that I had become sick very quickly and been too ill in bed even to bother with text messages.

"Embry hasn't been at school either," Quil informed me when I talked to him on the phone. "His Mom said he had food poisoning, but he hasn't answered any messages I sent him. Have you been able to talk to him at all?"

"Once, right before I got sick," I said carefully. "We had a fight. I have some apologising to do."

"Why? What happened?" asked Quil.

"Oh, you don't want to hear the details. Just the usual shit that's been going on for weeks."

"You think you can sort it out?"

"I don't know," I said with a sigh. "I hope so."

I couldn't imagine Embry letting me anywhere near him now, but I had to try. Somehow we had to work through this, for the pack if nothing else. I was already in my room and I lay down on the bed, staring at my cellphone for a moment. He probably wouldn't even answer if he knew it was me. I opened up the settings and switched off the caller ID sending, then selected his number and pressed 'call' before I could talk myself out of it. He might not answer an anonymous call either, but it was worth a shot.

"Hello?" Embry said a few seconds later.

"Em, it's me." I prayed he wouldn't hang up.

"Jacob..." There was silence for a moment. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah. Sam found me." I was almost scared to so much as hint at what we had been through before I ran off, but I had to. "I need to talk to you about what happened, it's important. Can I see you?"

"I...I don't know."

"I won't hurt you, Embry, I promise."

"Can we just...talk at Sam's? Tomorrow?"

He was scared to be alone with me and I couldn't blame him one bit; I had almost torn his throat out. I cringed at the memory. I wanted to tell him what I found out there and then, knowing he must be feeling as sick as I had - probably more so since I'd made him give in when he tried so hard to avoid getting close to me - but at the same time I didn't want to do it on the phone.

"Ok," I said. "When will you be there?"

"Early morning."

"I will too."

"I better go," Embry said then.

"Sure. See you tomorrow."

I ended the call, my hand shaking. At least he was going to talk to me, although I doubted now that we could even be friends again.

I didn't sleep a wink that night, but lay staring at the ceiling, glancing at the luminous hands on my clock every so often as the hours crawled by towards dawn. I got up early, took a shower and drank coffee and by then Dad was up too. He tried to tell me everything was going to be alright, that the pack were very close to each other and that I didn't need to be nervous about joining them, but we both knew it wasn't that I was worrying about.

I set off just after nine and headed slowly towards Sam's, dragging my feet and making the short journey take almost twenty minutes. I was filled with trepidation, convinced that I wouldn't be able to work things out with Embry and that the others would condemn me for attacking him, even though Sam hadn't. I knew I was going to have to tell Sam what Dad had told me too. The pack Alpha had been good to me, but he still made me nervous and I was worried he may shoot the messenger.

When I reached the house I knocked on the door and a moment later it was opened by a girl with three terrible scars down the right side of her face. I did my best to fix my eyes on hers, guessing staring at the scars would make her uncomfortable. I knew she was Emily, even though I hadn't actually seen her that night when Sam brought me back from the woods.

"Hey, is Sam here?" I asked.

"Yes, he's around the back of the house. You must be Jacob." She smiled at me. "I'm Emily. They're all out there, just go around. I'm cooking everyone some brunch."

"Ok, thanks."

I turned away and headed slowly around the side of the building. I could hear voices as I approached and I paused before I got to the rear corner again, took a deep breath to steady my nerves and then continued. A wooden picnic table with benches was situated not far from the kitchen door and Sam, Jared, Paul and Embry were all sitting at it. Embry and Jared had their backs to me and the other two were facing.

"Hey, Jacob. You made it, then. Come over and sit down," Sam said as soon as he saw me. Paul just grinned.

Embry and Jared didn't turn around, but Jared greeted me as soon as I had walked around the table and sat down on the bench in the spot Sam vacated. He touched Paul lightly on the shoulder and after a moment the other boy got up and followed Sam into the house. Jared was quick to join them, leaving only Embry and I sitting opposite each other. Embry's head was bowed and he didn't look up.

I wasn't sure what to say, or at least how to begin and maybe half a minute passed with me just looking at him while he stared down at his hands which were folded on the table in front of him.

"I'm sorry," he said then before I could speak.

"You didn't do anything," I protested at once. "I'm the one who needs to say sorry."

"I could have told you...something."

"Sam told me you couldn't say anything."

"But I could have made more effort to stop you touching me. I just...I don't know, I tried, but even then I couldn't help it. I felt sick with myself after. Are you still mad with me?"

"God, no, I feel pretty sick too. I'm so sorry I hurt you. You must have been through hell and I almost killed you." My voice shook and I cleared my throat and grabbed the glass of juice Paul had left behind, gulping some. I had to tell him what I learned right away.

"I talked to Dad when I got back," I continued, deciding to just spit it out. "We're not related. Josh Uley is your father."

He didn't even question what I said. He just dropped his face into his hands and wept. Between the pair of us, it seemed we had done nothing but cry since my birthday. I reached across the table and touched his arm and when he still didn't look up, I rose quickly and went around the other side of the table. I dropped onto the bench next to him, one leg either side of it and rested my arm around his shoulders.

I expected him to maybe flinch or even jump up and back away from me, but instead he half turned towards me and then fell against me, his face pressing into my shoulder. After a moment his arms crept around my waist and I hugged him tight. I hadn't expected it to be so easy. I had been sure he wouldn't want me near him now, but he didn't seem to care about the fight, only that he'd had to keep his distance from me.

"I love you," I whispered. At last I could say it without thinking he would run away.

Embry drew back, his head still lowered and wiped his face with his sleeve.

"I love you too," he said and finally looked up and met my eyes.

I lifted my hand and touched his face, longing to kiss him and wondering if the others were watching out of the window. I could hear their muffled voices coming from inside the house, but at that point I didn't care whether they could see us or not. I leaned in to kiss Embry and then stopped inches away. Something strange was happening and I sat still, stunned.

Everything around us began to shrink into my peripheral vision and then vanish completely, leaving nothing but Embry. His eyes seemed to be pulling me in, anchoring me somehow, while an incredible heat filled me - not the almost violent burning I had felt right before I phased, but an all-encompassing warmth. I continued staring into his eyes unblinking, and yet I almost felt as if my eyelids were flickering, displaying single frames of images of just Embry. It took my breath away and time stopped as I just sat there, lost in him. When the rest of the world gradually came back into focus, I sat back and shook myself.

"What happened?" Embry murmured.

"I think I...Imprinted."

I knew I had. I already loved him, but now something was different. It was as if he was the centre of my world - my _whole_ world - and I knew in an instant I would die protecting him if it came to it. I felt my lips stretching into a smile and I found I still couldn't look away from him. I took his hands and just sat there holding them and gazing at him. Neither of us spoke; it was as if all the pain and horror we had been through in the past few weeks had never happened.

"Alright, break it up, guys, brunch is coming," Sam said suddenly, stepping out of the door. He sat down at the opposite side of the table and I turned to face forwards, still holding one of Embry's hands.

"You two ok?" Sam asked then and winked.

"Mm...yeah," Embry said and blushed.

"You saw?" I asked.

"Yeah. I'm glad for you. It's kind of rough when you love someone, but Imprint on somebody else. So what else have you got to tell me? Come on, I can take it." He sighed and and folded his arms.

"You and Embry are brothers," I said without prevarication. Embry's hand clutched mine tighter and I saw the colour leak out of his face again.

"I figured it was more likely to be my Dad than yours or Quil's," Sam said to me. "And judging by the look on your faces when you were talking, it's obvious it's not Billy. I know what my Dad was like, or at least I heard. Don't look like that, Embry, it's not your fault. We just had a loser for a father, that's all."

Embry relaxed and flushed again, although this time it was clearly with pleasure that Sam was happy to acknowledge him as his brother. I filled them both in on the rest of what Dad had told me and it was agreed that it would all stay within the pack. There was no reason for anyone else to know and letting the secret spread further would only hurt Sam's mother and upset and annoy Embry's.

"Grub!" Paul emerged from the house at that moment with a large tray holding a dish of scrambled eggs, another of crisp bacon and a third of hash browns. Emily followed with a plate piled high with pancakes and a jug of maple syrup and Jared brought out a stack of plates. Everyone sat around the table together, Paul and Jared fighting for the bacon immediately.

"You're a pig, Lahote," Jared grumbled as Paul speared half a dozen slices of bacon in one go and dumped them onto his plate.

"What can I say? I like to eat." Paul just grinned and began shovelling eggs on top of the bacon.

"Are they always like this?" I whispered to Embry.

"Pretty much."

"Hey, Black, you know you still owe me a favour," Paul said suddenly, mumbling around a mouthful of food.

"What?" I finally let go of Embry's hand and picked up a fork instead.

"Condoms at the bonfire?"

"Oh..." I felt myself turning red as Sam and Emily both looked at me curiously and Embry let out a sudden giggle, which didn't exactly help the situation.

"They were for Quil," I said.

"Yeah, yeah," taunted Paul. "Anyway, this favour...I told you I'd call it in some day."

"Paul, give it up, eat your food," Sam told him.

"I just want my car fixing!" snorted Paul. "Old heap's manifold is corroded."

"Um...well, bring it over whenever you like," I said in relief. "If anything needs replacing I can get parts wholesale."

"Cool. Thanks, Jake." Paul grinned and turned his attention back to his plate.

The rest of the meal passed with much hilarity, following which Emily poured out coffee or juice for whoever wanted it and then took a comb and scissors to my hair while Sam talked to us all about the pack. I wasn't in the least happy about having my hair cut, but I knew it had to be done and Emily did make a pretty good job of it. Embry whispered that it suited me and that I looked 'cute'.

"Cute? God, I hope not," I muttered, grinning none the less.

In the afternoon we all headed down to the beach and to my surprise I found that I did get on pretty well with Paul and Jared once I gave them a chance. The five of us played football and fooled about, trying to throw each other in the sea. However, when Sam, Jared and Paul headed up the cliff to dive, Embry and I stayed on the beach, ignoring the others taunting us for not having the guts.

Finally I had Embry to myself, even though it was probably only going to be for a short while. I slid my arms around him, pulling him close to me and for the first time since my birthday weekend, he didn't hesitate in his response to my kisses. Our lips clung and we held each other tightly, once again everything around us seeming to slip away until eventually jeering comments from the others as they waded up the beach forced us apart.

"God help us when we all phase; you two better keep your thoughts to yourself!" Paul exclaimed.

"Well, we'll leave that until tomorrow," said Sam. "I need to get back now, I'm taking Em out."

"So am I," I said in a whisper. My arm was still resting around Embry's neck and as we turned away to leave the others, he brushed his lips against my forearm.

"Ten o'clock tomorrow at my place!" Sam called out and then everyone scattered.

"So where are you taking me?" Embry asked as we headed back up the path towards the reservation.

"I don't know, where would you like to go?" I kissed his ear as we walked and he shivered.

"It's a while since we had a date in your shed," he grinned. "Although I'm actually getting pretty hungry again too."

"Mm, let's go out and get some food then and have...um...dessert in the shed later," I smirked.

I steered him in the direction of my house, excited and very happy at last. It was difficult to believe that only twenty-four hours ago, both of us had been suffering so much. Now he was my Imprint, and he was my life.


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

"We should go in and see Dad first," I said as we approached the house. Much as I wanted to be alone with Embry, I also wanted him to see that Dad wasn't going to treat us in the same way his Mom had and that Embry could relax about being at my place in the future.

My arm was still resting around him as we walked and now I felt him stiffen slightly.

"Does he know about us?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"Oh, God," Embry groaned. "He'll hate me."

"No, he won't. He guessed what was going on anyway. He's cool with it, seriously. He said he loves me and he wants me to be myself."

"You're so lucky. I doubt my Mom will ever change her mind. She's still trying to pretend I'll find a girlfriend soon. What else did your Dad say?"

"That if he'd known we were in such a state about who your Dad was, he'd have told me earlier. Sam didn't tell him you phased until last week, though, so he didn't know."

I let go of him and pushed the door open, kicking my boots off on the mat. Embry did the same.

"That you, Jacob?" Dad called from the living room.

"Yeah! Embry's here too."

"Good, come on in."

I could see Embry was still nervous and he glanced at me anxiously when Dad invited him to sit down and then sent me to the kitchen to make him some coffee. I wasn't worried and left them to talk. I could hear their voices, but not what they were actually saying, although after a few minutes I heard Embry laugh and I grinned to myself. I took Dad the mug of coffee and told him we planned to go into Forks. A couple of minutes later we were on our way out again to get the Rabbit which I still kept in the shed when I wasn't using it.

"What did Dad say to you?" I asked as I unlocked the shed door.

"He said he was sorry my Mom doesn't support me and that if I need anybody to talk to or be on my side, he'll be there for me," Embry said.

I beamed. Dad was awesome. Once again I found myself wishing I had just told him everything from the beginning. I got in the car and drove out of the shed, leaving Embry to lock the door and then join me.

"My Mom will never let me have a car," he said with a sigh. "I'll have to finish school first and then work until I can afford it."

"Yeah, but you're sixteen in two months; I'll let you drive this," I said at once.

"Seriously? I won't be able to drive on the road though."

"Yeah, you will. It only took me eight lessons. If I teach you to drive you can probably get away with just a couple of official ones and then take the test."

"You'll really do that?"

I could see him grinning out of the corner of my eye.

"I'd do anything for you," I said.

I reached out and grasped his hand, lacing my fingers through his and driving one-handed. On the couple of occasions before we reached town where I needed to change gear, he slid his hand out of mine and rested it on my thigh instead, which quickly made me wish we had ordered pizza and stayed in the shed. I did my best to stop thinking about it, parked the Rabbit in the lot behind the pharmacy and jumped out, willing my erection to subside quickly.

"Where are we going?" Embry asked. "The diner?"

"No, somewhere better than that," I said.

Bella had mentioned a little while ago that she and her friend Jessica went to a new Mexican restaurant which had opened in the vacant building between the pharmacy and some kind of beauty store. The door was standing open to welcome potential customers and I led the way in. It looked like a pretty cool place, dimly lit with candles, music playing, the sizzle and tantalising smell of fajitas coming from a skillet on its way to a group of diners. A waiter hurried towards us a moment later.

"Yes, Sirs? Table for two?" he asked.

"Yeah, thanks," I nodded.

We were shown to a corner table for two, handed menus and two alcohol-free cocktails as a free introduction to the new restaurant. We ordered steak fajitas which came with an assortment of peppers, sour cream, guacamole, cheese and tomatoes and dug in hungrily. The food was delicious and I loved every second of being out with Embry.

The restaurant was warm and Embry slid out of the hooded sweatshirt he was wearing after a while. He was wearing a sleeveless t-shirt underneath and I looked again at his tattoo. The other guys all had the same one I had noticed and I wondered if I was going to end up having to have it. I hadn't really looked at the design closely and now I did, I could see it incorporated two wolf figures. Actually it was pretty good. I stroked my finger over it.

"Do I have to get this done?" I asked him.

"Only if you want to. It's tradition, apparently - goes back hundreds of years. But Sam won't force you to get inked."

"I don't know, I kind of like it," I said. "You know what would be really cool, though? To get another one as well, for just us." The idea popped into my mind and once there, wouldn't be pushed aside.

"You mean both of us?"

"Yeah."

My heart thumped rapidly. He would probably think it was a stupid idea.

"We could get them done at the same time as you get your pack one," Embry grinned.

I smiled back and picked up my drink again. As I glanced around me, I spotted two girls at a table across the room, both eyeing us and giggling together. When I looked their way, one gave me a cheeky smile and a little wave. I turned back to Embry.

"We've got admirers."

"You have, you mean."

"You're the one with your muscles on display," I smirked.

The waiter came over at that moment to clear the table and ask if we wanted the dessert menu.

"No, just the check, thanks," I said.

As he walked away, one of the girls got up and headed over towards us, pausing beside me.

"Hey...um...my friend and I were wondering if you two would like to join us for a drink," she said.

"Oh, look, thanks for the offer, really," I said. "But we're taken."

"Both of you?" She looked a little crestfallen.

"Yeah. Sorry." I couldn't help myself. I lifted my hand from where I was holding Embry's on my lap out of her line of sight and kissed his knuckles.

"Oh! Well, I'm sorry too." Her eyebrows rose a touch and she returned to her table.

Embry sniggered. "That must be the first time a girl ever showed any interest in me."

"Well, it's a good thing I nipped that in the bud then; can't have my Imprint's head being turned," I teased.

The waiter returned a moment later, I paid the check and we walked back to the car. The lot was deserted except for the Rabbit and I couldn't wait to at least kiss him. I unlocked the passenger door for him, but then slid my arms around him before he could get in, trapping him between my body and the side of the car. I crushed my lips onto his and thrust my tongue between them, teasing his, tasting him, my dick instantly hard again. I pressed myself harder against him and felt his own arousal through his pants. Heat rose in me, more intense than usual and I couldn't stop myself backing off a few inches to rip off my sweatshirt, dropping it on the ground and then resuming devouring him. I was so turned on by then that I was aching and eventually I forced myself to slow things down, otherwise I would have been tempted to start fucking him in the parking lot. He groaned in disappointment as I stepped back.

"We better get home," I said. "Before Charlie Swan turns up and arrests us."

Embry grinned and climbed into the car. He teased me mercilessly on the drive back to La Push, stroking his hand up and down my thigh, occasionally rubbing my hard-on through my jeans until I was ready to scream.

"Jesus, Embry, stop it, do you want me to crash the car?" I said through my teeth after a few minutes. My dick felt like it was attempting to tear its way out of my pants and it hurt quite badly.

"Pull over," Embry said with a grin.

"What?"

"Park up somewhere."

I was about to reply that we were only ten minutes from home, when he pressed his hand between my legs again, squeezing my balls, rubbing the base of my erection and I just groaned instead and looked for a suitable place to stop the car. There was a wide shoulder opposite the cliff top where the pack jumped into the sea and I stood on the brakes and swung the car onto it, quickly turning off the engine and the lights. Embry was already unzipping me and a moment later his hand was wrapped around me and he was leaning down to take me in his mouth.

"Oh, God," I gasped, squirming on the seat and gripping the steering wheel tighter. The feel of his hot wet mouth on me and his hand pumping me threatened to make me lose control of myself immediately and I struggled to hold on just a little longer, but it was a losing battle. His tongue was rolling around me, lips sucking and nibbling, his teeth gently scraping me, hand squeezing and I came forcefully into the back of his throat, groaning loudly as he sucked me dry and then slowly sat up, licking his lips.

"Fuck," I hissed, attempting to tuck myself back into my pants and failing. I was still rock hard and it didn't feel like it would be going down any time soon, even now. I thought I should do something for Embry before we set off again, but he backed away.

"Call at my place on the way back," he said.

"What? What for?" I panted. I started the engine again and steered the car back onto the road.

"I need to get the lube."

"Ok."

When we reached La Push, I stopped maybe fifty yards from Embry's house and he hurried over there, went in the front door and then a few minutes later came out the back and sneaked around the house before running back to the car.

"I told Mom I was going to bed and then climbed out the window," he grinned.

We were back at my place in minutes and Embry got out of the Rabbit to open the shed door. I drove in and he closed it again. He was already taking his t-shirt off when I slid out of the car and I removed my own quickly. My erection had only subsided by about half on the remainder of the drive back and now it stood up straight again, no longer restrained by my jeans as I still hadn't bothered to fasten them. I reached out and tucked my fingers into the waistband of Embry's pants, tugging him towards me and then unfastening the buttons. He was as hard as I was, his dick escaping his shorts and bumping my hand. I grasped him, stroking my hand up and down for a moment, lowering it to cup his balls and squeeze gently.

"Oh, God, Jacob," he gasped. "Just fuck me...please..."

He pulled the small tube of lube out of his pocket and handed it to me. I squeezed some into my hand, covering myself in it as Embry shoved his jeans and shorts down to his knees and turned away from me, resting his hands on the hood of the car. I slid one arm around him and wrapped my fingers around him again, teasing him as I stroked the other hand over his butt, pressing my fingers between his legs, sliding one finger into him, then two. He shuddered and groaned and after a minute I withdrew my fingers and replaced them with the head of my dick. He sucked his breath in hard and I gradually pushed myself deeper until my body was tight against his, then began to fuck him slowly, jacking him off at the same time until we came together, panting and shaking, our bodies burning and slick with sweat. I stayed where I was for a moment, then reluctantly let myself slip out of him and grabbed some of the paper towels I kept in the shed to wipe us clean. Embry pulled his pants back up and took another handful of towels, giggling as he cleaned up the wing of the car which he had spurted all over.

It was only moments before the mood was spoiled by Embry's cellphone ringing. His face fell when he looked at the screen.

"Oh, shit, it's my Mom," he groaned. "She must have seen I'm not in my room."

He answered the call reluctantly and then held the phone away from his ear. I couldn't hear what Tiffany was saying to him, but whatever it was she was yelling it. Embry said virtually nothing and then put the phone away, his face pale.

"What did she say?" I slid my arms around him and kissed his cheek.

"She said she guessed I'm probably with you and if that's the case then I had better stay here because she doesn't want me setting foot back in her house." He sighed heavily and hugged me back. "Fuck, what am I going to do now?"

"We'll go and talk to Dad," I said. "Maybe in a little while though, when we don't look like we've been doing...what we've been doing."

Embry laughed and rescued his t-shirt from the ground. "I really need to get a shower," he said.

"Yeah, me too." I brushed my lips against his and looked around for the rest of my clothes.

We went to the house about fifteen minutes later and when we walked in, we could hear Dad talking on the phone. We stayed in the kitchen and after a moment he could be heard saying, "Well, I'm sorry you feel like that, Tiffany. You know, a fifteen-year-old boy needs the support of a parent, not rejection."

"Oh, shit," Embry whispered.

"Don't worry about it; Dad will sort it out," I said.

A couple of minutes later I heard the phone clunk down into its cradle.

"Come in here, you two!" Dad called.

We made our way into the living room and sat down.

"I'm sure you must have heard some of that," he said. "Your Mom called me, Embry."

We both nodded.

"She called me first. She said she didn't want me to go back," said Embry.

"Yes, she repeated that to me," Dad sighed. "I'm sorry she's not more understanding. In the meantime we're going to have to make some other arrangements for you. You can stay here tonight and we'll figure it out tomorrow."

"Really? Thanks, Sir," Embry said, his face brightening immediately.

Dad grinned. "For goodness' sake, I think you can call me Billy. Right, I'm going to bed. Don't be up too late, alright?"

"Sure. Thanks, Dad." I followed him out of the room. "Should I make the couch up for Embry to sleep on?"

"You've got a room, haven't you?" he responded. "I don't mind him staying with you, just don't be getting up to anything while I'm under the same roof; I don't want to hear you. Goodnight, son." He rolled into his room and pushed the door closed after him.

I went back to the living room where Embry was still waiting.

"He says you can share my room; we've just go to behave," I grinned. "Not that I could probably do anything with him the other side of the wall anyway. Do you want to go in the shower first?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

"There's some of my clothes in the bathroom cupboard; help yourself to whatever you want," I added.

"Thanks," Embry repeated and left the room.

I went to my bedroom while I waited for him to shower and tidied up a little. Some of my clothes were strewn around on the floor and the bedding was tangled and hanging off the narrow bunk. I remembered Embry joking about him falling out of bed if he ever had to sleep in mine and grinned to myself.

Embry came in ten minutes later wearing a pair of my shorts and a t-shirt, his own clothes in his hand. I went to take a shower myself, grabbed another pair of shorts out of the bathroom cupboard and pulled them on over still damp skin, too impatient to dry myself properly, and headed back to my room.

Embry was already in the bed, lying on his side with his back to the wall waiting for me. I closed the door, turned the light off and went to join him, delighted that I was getting to spend the night with him although it had been unpleasant circumstances that made it happen.

I slid my arms around him and he snuggled against me.

"Are you ok?" I murmured. "I mean, you must be upset about what your Mom said."

"No, I'm ok, I'm sort of used to it," he said. "Right now I'm just happy I'm here." He drew back slightly and pressed his lips against mine. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." I kissed him back, restraining myself from extending beyond a gentle caressing of lips. Despite Dad being in the next room, I knew I would still get uncomfortably excited and then I wouldn't be able to help myself.


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

When I opened my eyes in the morning it seemed as if I hadn't moved all night. Embry had turned to face the other way and I was moulded to his back, one arm under his neck and the other around his waist, my knees tucked into the back of his and my dick pressing up against his butt. I didn't want to move, but I knew if I stayed that way now I was awake I would just frustrate myself by imagining pulling his shorts down and making love to him again.

"Damnit," I muttered.

It was already too late. My erection twitched and I rubbed myself against him for a moment as he opened his eyes and looked over his shoulder at me.

"Up already?" he smirked, grasping my hand where it rested on his stomach and pushing it lower to his own hard-on.

"Oh, God, don't, Em," I groaned.

"I can be quiet," he whispered.

"Well, I'm not so sure that I can." However, my determination to behave went out of my head and I pulled my hand free of his and slid it inside his shorts. As my hand wrapped around him he whimpered rather too loudly.

"Sshh, I thought you said you could be quiet," I whispered in his ear, remembering suddenly the last time we had been lying on my bed. He had practically humped my leg until he came in his pants and his gasps and groans had thrown me into a panic.

"Sorry." He turned his head and pressed his face into the pillow.

Much to my relief he did stay quiet while I continued jacking him off, but he trembled and panted and the heat coming off of his body dampened the t-shirt he had borrowed from me. I didn't have to do any more than rub myself against his butt to get myself off and in minutes we were both hot, sticky and breathless, laughing quietly.

"If you end up staying here another night, I'm going to run out of clothes," I whispered.

"Not if we take them off." Embry giggled and sat up, peeling off my t-shirt and using it to wipe himself. "I need another shower," he added.

"Hurry up then, Dad will be up soon," I said, glancing at the clock.

Embry slipped out of the room and I dug out some more clothes. He was back within minutes, wearing another of my t-shirts and some cargo pants style shorts. I went for a shower then and as I was coming out of the bathroom, Dad emerged from his room.

"Morning, son. Have you finished in there?"

"Yeah. Do you want some breakfast?"

"No, I'll see to myself later. Just get what you and Embry want."

"Ok. We're going over to Sam's soon," I said.

"Tell Embry I'll talk to his mother again today and see what we can sort out," he told me. "If he's going to end up staying here for any length of time, we're going to have to do something about the sleeping arrangements."

My face flamed. Had he heard us after all?

"I suggested he sleep on the couch," I reminded Dad.

"I meant you're going to need a new bed - how two people of your size can fit in that bunk is beyond me."

He rolled off into the bathroom leaving me staring after him in astonishment. Much as I didn't want Embry to suffer his Mom's rejection, part of me hoped she wouldn't want him back home, because then he could be with me almost every minute.

I went into the kitchen to find breakfast and Embry joined me a minute later.

"Do you want something to eat?" I offered.

"Yes, please, I'm starving."

"Me too." I seemed to have been starving ever since I phased; at least after Embry and I sorted things out I had.

I pulled a bag of ready split bagels out of the freezer and began toasting a stack of them while Embry sliced cheese to fill them with. We ate three each washed down by juice and then set off for Sam's. It was to be our first time phasing together and considering I hadn't wanted to be involved in any of this, suddenly I was excited.

We were the first to arrive at Sam's and he let us in himself. He was wearing only shorts and Emily was busy making him some breakfast.

"You two want any food?" he offered as we all headed for the kitchen.

"No, we just had some, but thanks," Embry said.

"Did I hear someone say 'food'?" Paul burst in through the door.

"How did you hear that from outside?" I asked.

"Wolf ears," grinned Paul. "I'll bring my car around after school tomorrow if that's ok with you."

"Sure, any time." I made a mental note not to be playing with Embry in the shed tomorrow night and he grinned at me suddenly as if he were thinking the same thing.

"Eggs, Paul?" Emily called from the kitchen suddenly.

"Yes, please, and whatever else you got!"

"I'm going to make you pay rent one of these days, you're eating me out of house and home," Sam grumbled good-naturedly. "Where's Jared?"

"On his way. He's got a girl; it was a matter of life and death that he talk to her before coming over," Paul said.

Sam grinned. "You're talking about Kim, right?"

"Yeah, what's he said?"

"He Imprinted. So he'll be pretty keen to at least talk to her after what, ten hours since their date ended last night?" said Sam. "You two feeling it yet?" He glanced at Embry and me and winked.

"No, I stayed..." Embry began and then stopped abruptly, blushing furiously to his hairline. Even his ears turned red.

"His Mom kicked him out," I explained as Paul laughed raucously.

"Yeah and what's your excuse going to be tomorrow?" he asked.

"Probably the same, unless my Dad can talk some sense into her," I put in. I leaned closer to Embry to whisper. "I kind of hope he fails miserably."

"Me too. I like waking up with you."

"Please!" exclaimed Paul from the other side of the room. "Wolf ears?"

Jared arrived a few minutes later, a wistful look on his face.

"I wish I could tell Kim about us," he sighed. "Emily knows. It's not fair. You two are lucky," he added, eyeing Embry and me.

Paul snorted. "Yeah, Jake's Dad let Embry move in."

"What?" Jared's eyebrows rose.

"It's not like that," Embry protested. "My Mom kicked me out."

"Yeah, but you still spent the night..."

"Knock it off, Paul," Sam interrupted.

He continued by telling us, looking mainly at me, that we would all go to the edge of the woods and phase together, then carry out a dummy patrol of the border for practise so that I would get used to running with the pack before we needed to do it for real. We walked across the meadow and once we reached the trees, Sam, Jared and Paul all turned away, stripped off their shorts and phased rapidly. I had already seen Sam phased of course - jet black, huge and imposing. Jared was brown and Paul dark grey. The three of them wandered off slowly into the trees, leaving Embry and me to catch up.

I did my best not to look at Embry as we kicked our shoes off and dropped our pants. The last thing I wanted to be thinking about was sex when the others could read our thoughts. 'Just visualise yourself as a wolf,' Sam had told me and I wondered if it was really that easy. The one time it had happened I had been sick, agonised, filled with rage and somehow I thought I would have needed some of that in me to make it happen. I glanced over at Embry and my eyes widened. He had already phased into a slightly lighter grey than Paul. I remembered the first time I had seen him and I shivered as I remembered his wolf lying on its side whining, blood running into the soft grey fur from the wound left by my teeth.

"Oh, God," I groaned. Suddenly I wanted to turn and run away; I didn't want to do this. What if I lost my temper again? If I hurt my own Imprint, I might as well kill myself. I squeezed my eyes shut miserably.

A moment later something warm and damp touched my cheek and my eyes flew open again. Embry was standing close to me, his muzzle on a level with my shoulder. As I looked into his dark eyes, his tongue rolled out of his mouth and licked my cheek a second time. He knew exactly how I was feeling, but with him a wolf and me still human, he couldn't communicate with me. I raised my hand and rested it on his head between his ears, scratching his fur.

"I'm so sorry, Em," I said. I had to change or we couldn't talk to each other. I pulled my hand back and took a few steps backwards, then imagined myself as that huge russet wolf. Within seconds I was eye to eye with him and a brief glance at myself showed that I had phased easily.

_"Don't go back there,"_ Embry's voice said in my head. _"It doesn't matter now."_

_"It does to me. I love you and I hurt you so badly. It kills me."_

_"You can't think like that; I don't. It's over. You Imprinted on me - nothing like that will ever happen again. You won't be able to hurt me and you won't let anyone else hurt me either."_

_"Sam hurt Emily," _I pointed out, remembering the scars on her face.

_"Yeah, but he told you what happened, didn't he? It was an accident. He phased when he was too close to her; he didn't go for her because he was angry. You won't hurt me, Jacob. You have to believe that."_

_"Yeah, I know that. I do. I just...got scared for a minute."_ I knew he was right; Sam had told me the exact same thing. I shook myself. _"Ok, let's go."_

We scampered after the others, catching them up a couple of minutes later.

_"Are you ok, Jacob?"_ Sam's voice asked me.

_"Yeah. Thanks."_

The five of us began to run through the trees, roughly following the line of the river which marked the border between La Push and the Cullens' land. I had been horrified to find out the weird family were vampires. It kind of made sense, but the fact that Bella was dating one of them repulsed me. Did she know? How could anyone prefer cold hard flesh to warmth and life? I immediately began to think about Embry again; I couldn't stop myself and I completely forgot that the others could hear every thought. I imagined him in my arms, the heat of him, his mouth on mine, his hands touching me...

_"Jake..."_ Embry's embarrassed whisper came into my head, followed by a brief flash of an image of what I had made him think - the pair of us lying in bed, wrapped around each other like we had been when we woke up that morning.

_"For fuck's sake, we can all hear that!"_ Paul growled suddenly. _"I wish you had turned out to be brothers, then the rest of us wouldn't have to listen to you getting it on!"_

I stopped still, horrified and my blood boiled. I was mortified at having let the others see those thoughts, but it was quickly overtaken by anger. Paul would have to use the one thing that had caused Embry and I more pain than anything else and torment us with it. I rapidly lost control of myself and sprang at him. He reared up, colliding with me in mid-air and we rolled, snapping and clawing at each other, a flurry of red and grey fur entangled on the forest floor.

_"I'll kick the shit out of you for that!"_

_"Come on, Jake, you can do better than that!"_ Paul continued taunting me.

_"Asshole!"_ My teeth grazed his shoulder and he snapped back at me, biting into one of my forelegs. I clawed at him with the other, scratching his muzzle and drawing blood, although the minor wound healed immediately.

_"Guys! Pull yourselves together!"_ Jared's voice exclaimed suddenly.

_"Oh, God, Jacob,"_ Embry said, sounding panicked.

_"Enough!"_

Sam's order forced us apart and I scrambled to my feet, shaking myself vigorously, still showing my teeth. Paul leaped up too, panting.

_"What the hell is wrong with you, Paul?"_ Sam demanded. _"That was uncalled for. And Jake - calm down. We're on the same side here."_

_"Yeah, looks like it,"_ I growled. I hated feeling like this. I had never had a temper, but this wolf thing was making me crazy.

_"It's ok, it gets better." _Embry stepped closer and nuzzled my ear. _"I lost it too a few times at the beginning."_

I took a deep breath and tried to make myself relax. The last thing I really wanted to do was fight with anyone - even Paul.

_"I'm sorry, Jake."_ Paul's apology surprised me and I glanced at him. He even looked sincere. _"That was a shitty thing to say."_

_"Yeah, well...let's just forget about it."_

I forced myself to calm down and within moments everyone else had put it behind them, although for a while I could feel Embry's anxiety that I would lose it again over something. However, by the time we returned to where we had left our clothes some hours later, I was pretty relaxed and was even getting along well with Paul which surprised me somewhat. He actually seemed to be a decent guy at heart; he just had the hottest temper out of everyone and a sharp tongue which he couldn't help using to get a rise out of everyone on occasion.

When we returned to Sam's house Emily offered to make dinner for everyone, but Jared was keen to get back to Kim and I wanted Embry to myself, so only Paul stayed. Embry and I went home to find out if Dad had any luck talking to Tiffany and we were surprised to find that he had. She had initially not been pleased to have him questioning her parenting skills, but in the end acknowledged that if she didn't make more effort to be understanding with Embry, she was going to lose him altogether and she had asked Billy to send him home so she could talk to him. He stayed with me for another couple of hours and then left, telling me he would either be back later or he would call.

The minute he was gone I missed him and I nibbled half-heartedly at the food I made for Dad and I. He asked me how things had gone for me that day and I confessed to fighting with Paul and having a hard time keeping my thoughts to myself. I constantly glanced at the clock and checked my phone and after two hours had gone by I had to force myself not to leap off the couch and pace up and down.

"Don't worry, I'm sure Embry and his Mom must be working things out," Dad said at one point. "If they weren't he'd be back here, wouldn't he?"

"Yeah, it's not that. I guess I should tell you." I took a deep breath. I should know by now that nothing much I did was going to upset him and certainly not this. "I Imprinted," I said. "Yesterday."

"On Embry, apparently."

"Yeah."

"Well...I've never known a shifter to Imprint on another male, but obviously it happens. I suppose Sam told you there are two theories on why Imprinting occurs?"

"Yes - to find a mate and to find someone who supports you and makes you stronger."

"I always believed more in the latter than the former. You should think yourself lucky. Look at what Sam has been through - is still going through - with Leah and Emily."

"I know I'm lucky." I grinned at him. I was even more lucky to have him on my side. My phone rang and I snatched it up in a second. "Em?"

"No, it's Quil. Didn't you check your caller ID?"

"No," I said, heading for my room. "What are you doing?"

"I was going to ask you the same question. I've been calling all day; didn't you see the missed calls either?"

"Sorry. No. I...um...didn't have my phone with me today," I said. "Embry and I just wanted some time alone. Sorry," I added again, feeling guilty for not telling him the truth. Embry and I were both going to be keeping secrets for him for a while, until he caught us up. Sam was certain it wouldn't be long before he joined the pack, being a direct descendant of Quil Ateara III, who was my own grandfather's Beta.

I chatted to Quil for a little while, telling him we would catch up properly at school the next day, but I longed for him to get off the phone in case Embry was trying to call me. When he eventually hung up, the phone rang again immediately and once again I answered quickly without checking the screen.

"Em!"

"No, it's Bella." She giggled. "Where have you been? I've been calling all weekend. Don't tell me, with Embry. How's that going? Did you sort things out?"

"Yeah. I won't tell you all the details, I'll bore you to death. But everything's ok again. Better than ok."

"That's brilliant, Jake, I'm glad for you. I have some news too," Bella said and I noticed she sounded happy for the first time in months. "Edward's back. All the Cullens are."

So the leeches were back. Now I knew what they really were I wasn't happy they were back, particularly because the truce between them and the Quileutes which went back for generations meant we couldn't cross swords or step on each other's lands. But we may have to fight _with_ them against rogue vampires.

"Jake? Are you still there?"

"Sorry, Bella." I realised I had missed what she was saying while I drifted into my own thoughts.

"Aww, thinking about Embry?" she teased.

"Yeah. Always."

I wished he would call me. I talked to her a little longer and then hung up and checked my phone again for missed calls. There were none and I felt a sudden pain inside me, almost as if I had been punched.

"Come on, Em, call me," I said to the phone, staring at the screen and willing his name to pop up.

He called me about two minutes later and I almost dropped the phone as it jingled and vibrated in my hand. My heart felt as if it may leap out of my chest as I answered quickly, my hand shaking as if it was the first time he had ever called me.

"Em!"

"Hey. Are you ok?" he said.

"I am now." I knew I sounded desperate and I almost laughed. "How's it going with your Mom?"

"Ok, I guess. She changed her mind about wanting me to leave," Embry said.

"Shit," I muttered before I could stop myself. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. Of course I want you to work things out with her, I just...wish you were here."

"I know; I do too," Embry said softly. "I miss you."

"You're staying home tonight, aren't you?" I said.

"Yeah. I thought I better. I'll come over before school tomorrow."

"Ok."

I was horribly disappointed. I hated being apart from him and I had hoped fervently that he would be sleeping in my arms again that night, but it wasn't going to happen. Still, he was at the other end of the phone and I intended to make the most of it. We talked until he ran out of credit and then I called him back until I did, by which time Dad had already called out that he was going to bed and I had lowered my voice, lying in the darkness with my eyes closed imagining that Embry was next to me as I pressed the phone to my ear. When we finally stopped talking, I fell asleep almost immediately from sheer exhaustion and slept like the dead.


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

The next morning I woke with that pain filling me again. I had thought being separated from Embry over Christmas was hard and then when he had broken up with me, but it was nothing like this. The ache in my chest took my breath away and at the same time I felt empty, as if a big part of me was missing. I showered and drank juice, but I couldn't face eating breakfast. So this was what Jared had been feeling? I hated it and I wasn't so sure that Imprinting was such a good thing after all if I was going to go through this every time I was away from Embry for more than a few hours. I had an almost uncontrollable urge to run straight over to his house or at least call him, but it was still only just past seven and it would only cause trouble for him with his Mom. Instead I waited impatiently, agonised, trying to force myself to stop fretting.

Embry arrived at eight o'clock and by then I was pacing around outside the shed, unable to control myself and not wanting to bother Dad with my irritability, even though he would have understood. He liked things to be relaxed when he first rose in the morning and there was me practically tearing my hair out for no reason other than that I wasn't with my Imprint.

"Hey."

Embry appeared around the corner of the building, his school bag in one hand and a smile on his face. I flew at him, grabbed him in a bear hug and swung him off his feet. He hugged me back, laughing as I reluctantly put him down, although I kept my arms around him.

"Did you miss me or something?"

"This damned Imprinting thing is a pain in the ass. It half killed me being away from you last night." I grinned sheepishly. "That sounded pretty dramatic."

"Yeah, but I kind of like it. You're cute when you're all possessive and desperate to see me."

I snorted. "Will you stop calling me cute?" I smothered any response he might have made with a kiss and we clung to each other for several minutes before coming up for air. "So, how's things with your Mom?" I asked him.

"Ok, I guess. Not great. Maybe she'll get used to me being gay eventually, I don't know, but at least she's not going to try and keep me away from you. I said if she did I'd just leave and Billy will look after me. He already told her that himself, so she gave in."

"Well, at least that's an improvement," I said, although it certainly wasn't for me. "Will you still be able to stay over?"

"Yes, I'll make sure of it; even if I have to tell her I'm staying at Sam's. She didn't object to that before."

"Oh, good. I'll tell Dad I need that new bed then," I grinned.

"Huh?"

"He said if you stay over much he'll get me a new bed so there's more room."

Embry grinned. "Your Dad is amazing. Hey, we better go and meet Quil or we're going to be late."

"Yeah, ok," I said with a sigh, grabbing him for another kiss before we set off.

We held hands on the way over to Quil's house and found him already out waiting at the end of the drive for us.

"Oh, might have guessed," he teased. "Couldn't you wait to see each other?"

"No," I grinned.

We all set off in the direction of school and Quil eyed us after a couple of minutes.

"You walking all the way there like that?" he asked, glancing at our joined hands and raising an eyebrow. "Not that I care..."

I looked at Embry. "Do you mind everybody knowing?" I asked.

"No."

I pulled my hand free of his and draped my arm around his neck instead and shortly after Paul, Jared and Kim caught up with us and we all continued to school together. Not many people seemed to take much notice of Embry and me. There were a few raised eyebrows, but most kids didn't even look our way, not even when I kissed him goodbye to head to my first lesson, one where only Jared was in the same class.

"Is Embry still staying with you?" Jared asked me.

"No, he went back to his Mom's."

"How did you feel this morning?" he grinned.

"Shit!" I growled.

"It doesn't get any better with time."

"Thanks for telling me."

It was a long day of boring lessons and I couldn't wait for school to kick out that afternoon. Paul reminded me that he was bringing his car over for me to look at and rather than go home with Embry and have to wait for him to turn up, we walked to his house instead and I took a look under the hood. The manifold was in dire need of replacement along with the centre section of the exhaust and the silencer.

"You might as well just replace the whole thing in one go," Paul told me. "How much will it cost?"

"Wholesale, about three hundred bucks," I said.

Embry whistled, but Paul just shrugged. "I should be able to get the cash tomorrow; maybe we can go get it after school."

"You got three hundred bucks just lying around?"

"No, but I can probably twist my Dad's arm," he grinned.

Embry and I left him to do his arm-twisting and went back to my house for some food, then hung out in the shed for the rest of the evening. The lube was still there and we made love in the back seat of the Rabbit before Embry reluctantly dragged himself away just before nine-thirty.

On Tuesday Embry's Mom wanted him to go straight home after school at least for a couple of hours, so Paul went into Forks with me to get the parts for his car. He had a wad of cash in his pocket and seemed astonishingly blase about spending it.

"Dad got a huge bonus from work," he explained. "So I got treated too."

"I can't wait until I can finish school and work," I said. "My Dad hasn't got much to give me. I earn a little fixing other people's cars."

"Hey, look, I'll pay for your time with mine," Paul told me at once.

"I thought I owed you for the condoms." I grinned at him, surprised I was getting along with him so much better.

"I wasn't serious about that. Were they really for Quil?"

"Yeah."

Paul laughed. "I never pictured him as a ladies' man."

"Nor did I."

"I did see him with some real desperate looking girls, though."

"Yeah, he thought the more desperate they were, the better chance he'd have. They got wise to him in the end though. I haven't seen you with anybody lately," I commented.

"I'm sick of playing the field," Paul said with a slightly sheepish smile. "I'd rather just date somebody, but I haven't found a girl I like enough for that and I suppose I'm avoiding looking too hard. Look what Sam went through. I wouldn't want to go and fall for a girl and then Imprint on someone else."

"Yeah, that must have been hell," I agreed.

"I guess I envy you and Jared," Paul went on. "If I just Imprinted it'd be a whole lot easier."

"You'd think so, wouldn't you? It half kills you when you're not with them though," I said with a sigh, already longing for Embry.

"I'd rather that than not have anyone." He laughed suddenly. "Bet you never thought you'd hear me say anything like that."

"No, I didn't."

"I'm real sorry, you know," he went on. "For what I said when we were phased. Stuff just comes out of my mouth - or my head - without my brain engaging first."

"It's ok. And don't even think about paying me for fixing your car. Can you live without it one more day though? I need to see Em," I said with a smirk.

"Yeah, whenever. I'll drop it by tomorrow and you can just do it when you got time. It's not like I need it to get to school or anything."

"I'll have it done by the weekend," I promised.

I spent a couple of hours on Wednesday and Thursday evenings working on Paul's car. Embry helped and I told him what Paul had said to me on the trip to Forks to buy the parts. He was as surprised as I had been, even though he knew Paul much better than I did by now.

"He does keep his thoughts to himself mostly," he said. "He never lets anything slip when we're phased - not about himself anyway."

I remembered Sam saying that Paul was good at suppressing his thoughts and I only wished I could do the same. The fact that I had given everyone an image of me with Embry still embarrassed the hell out of me.

We spent most of the weekend over at Sam's. Even Kim was there as Sam had eventually relented and allowed Jared to tell her what we were. Since he had Imprinted, it wasn't as if they were a casual thing that would end in a few weeks leaving her free to run around gossiping. She was fascinated and apparently even more enamoured with Jared than she had been before. She stayed with Emily while the rest of us phased and ran another practise patrol and when we returned, a friend of Sam's who turned out to be his tattooist had arrived to give me my pack tattoo as I'd told Sam I was happy to go ahead and have it. The tattooist, Mark, already had a transfer of the design with him, having got used to being called upon to ink new members of Sam's 'gang'.

Embry sat with me in the kitchen while the design was inked onto my right upper arm and the others kept out of the way in the living room. Just as he was finishing Embry disappeared to the bathroom, having already told Mark he wanted another tattoo himself.

"What's he having done?" Mark asked me.

"I'm not sure, but there's another small one that I want," I said. "Can you do lettering in a sort of script style?"

"Anything you want," he said.

"Cool, I want a name here," I told him, indicating the inside of my left wrist.

"You know, people that get name tattoos usually regret it," Mark said with a grin. "I'll be back in a month to cover it up for you."

"No, you won't. I'm sure of what I want."

"Ok, it's your skin, and Sam's money. Makes no odds to me. Write it on here." He passed me a scrap of paper and a pencil and I wrote, 'Embry.'

He glanced up at me and raised his eyebrows, then shrugged and began changing the needle he had been using for the finer one used for outlining and lettering. By the time Embry returned Mark had already completed the 'E'.

"What else are you getting done?" he asked, trying to peer over my shoulder.

"Wait until it's finished, then you can look." I leaned forward slightly to block his view, grinning.

"Spoilsport." Embry went to the refrigerator to get some juice and then leaned against the kitchen counter for the twenty minutes or so it took for Mark to finish the lettering.

"Is that it?" he asked.

"No, I still need to get mine," Embry said, coming over to the table and leaning on my shoulder. "Let me see, then."

I held my wrist up in front of his face and he beamed.

"I love it." He straightened up again and took the seat next to me. "I want the same," he told Mark.

"You want 'Embry' on your own arm too?" Mark said with a frown.

"Yeah, so he can remember his name," I sniggered.

"I want Jacob," Embry said, laying his left arm on the table in front of Mark. "Same place."

"How are you spelling it?" Mark asked and when Embry looked surprised, added, "You'd be surprised the strange spellings of names I get requests for."

I grabbed the piece of paper and wrote on it, then watched with a smile as my name gradually began to appear on Embry's skin. Afterwards Mark packed up his equipment and Embry went to tell Sam he was about to leave. Sam came back into the kitchen and pulled out his wallet.

"One-fifty, is it?" he said, counting out some bills.

"One-eighty," said Mark.

Sam frowned and Embry reddened.

"Um...we got some extras," I said. "I'll pay for it...tomorrow."

Sam handed Mark the money and saw him out of the house, then came back to us.

"So come on, what are these extras?" he prompted. "I want to know what I'm paying for."

"I said I'd pay," I reminded him.

"It's thirty bucks, Jacob, don't worry about it," Sam said.

I held my arm out to show him, suddenly convinced he would tell us we were stupid for having each other's names tattooed on ourselves, but he just grinned as he looked at mine and then Embry's. Then he twisted his arm around and showed us Emily's name on the inside of his bicep.

"I got it done the day after I Imprinted," he said. "She has my name on the back of her neck under her hair."

Embry and I left soon after and headed for my house, but as we approached I noticed Charlie Swan's truck parked in front and at the same time, Quil appeared further down the street, clearly coming looking for us. We waited until he reached us, by which time Bella had come out of the house too.

"You two are a nightmare to track down; are your phones off or something?" Quil asked.

"Um...I left mine at home earlier," I said.

"Jacob!" Bella came over to give me a hug. "What did you do to your hair?"

"Oh, it was starting to annoy me," I said. "Don't you like it?"

"I'm just used to it being long." She stared at me for a second. "Actually, it looks sort of cute."

Embry began to laugh loudly and I reached out to give him a shove.

"What the hell is that on your arm?" Quil asked at once.

"What?"

He grabbed my wrist and turned it over.

"Woah, Jake, that's a bit serious, isn't it?" he said when he saw the tattoo.

"Yeah, so? It's not like I'm going to change my mind." I snatched my arm back. He hadn't seen the pack symbol yet; my t-shirt sleeve mostly covered it.

"I got one too." Embry showed Quil his own arm and he rolled his eyes.

"You're both mad. So what are we all doing? I haven't seen either of you all weekend," Quil said.

Eventually Embry went off to spend a couple of hours with Quil, leaving me to catch up with Bella. Although we had talked on the phone regularly, I hadn't actually seen her in quite a while. We sat in my room chatting and she seemed shocked to see my pack tattoo and learn that I was now hanging out at Sam's place with Paul and Jared. I made the excuse that they had become Embry's friends and I wanted to be with him so I got to know them too. I longed to tell her the truth, particularly as she was dating one of the leeches and was in danger, but I knew I couldn't.

"Are you sure they haven't brainwashed you?" she asked. "It's not long since you were concerned about Embry being with them."

"No, they're ok," I said. "Even Paul's actually pretty decent when you get to know him. I just never gave them a chance, that's all. They're not at all like they appear."

Bella and Charlie stayed for dinner and then left, after which I immediately sent Embry a text to find out what he was doing. He was home and Quil was still with him so we arranged to meet up on the beach for a couple of hours. Quil left us to it after maybe twenty minutes as we struggled not to constantly cuddle and kiss each other.

"God, you really have got it bad," he grumbled and headed for home.

It was only about a week later when it became obvious Quil was about to join the pack. The rest of us all noticed the sudden appearance of muscles in his arms and shoulders when we played football at school on Tuesday and then on Friday Quil's Gramps called Dad to tell him he was showing signs of phasing - not only the muscle, but his usual good humour seemed to have deserted him and he was sulky and bad-tempered. I had noticed the same thing when I thought about it. I had thought he was just grouchy because Embry and I were always so close that he got left out more and more every day and he had snapped at us a couple of times, saying that we were driving our friends away and would regret it when we broke up and found ourselves lonely.

Dad called Sam that night and told him and then came to my room. Embry and I were sprawling on my new bed which had been delivered only that morning, watching a DVD on my laptop. He asked us to take Quil over to Sam's the next morning and a few minutes later I called him and asked him to spend the day with us.

"I'm not interested in hanging out with your weird cult," Quil growled. "Why can't the three of us just do something like we always used to?"

"Because you always moan we can't keep our hands off of each other," I grinned. "Come on, Quil. You get on ok with Jared, don't you? And Paul's actually really cool when you get to know him."

"Yeah, right."

"Give it a chance, Quil," I said. "You might be surprised. If not, you can always leave, can't you? Come on, me and Embry are going to be there, but we'd rather you're with us too. You might even have a good time. Sam's girlfriend Emily cooks a mean brunch."

I heard Quil sigh heavily and in the end he agreed. "Alright," he said. "What time?"

"Come over here and meet us at nine," I told him.

"Ok. I better not regret this."

"I'm sure you won't," I grinned.

When I hung up, I reached out to draw Embry into my arms, guessing there would be no further interruptions from Dad.

"So are you going to stay with me tonight and try out this new bed?" I murmured.

"I was wondering when you were going to ask me that. I already told Mom earlier that I'm staying at Sam's tonight," he grinned.

"That was pretty presumptuous. What if I hadn't wanted you here?"

"Don't talk stupid," smirked Embry, brushing his lips against mine. "You can't help wanting me here."

"Damned Imprinting," I teased. "Makes me predictable." I covered his mouth with mine, thrusting my tongue in hungrily, delighted that I was going to be waking up with him again in the morning.


	17. Chapter 17

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Quil arrived just as we were getting ready to leave the next morning and immediately began to grumble that we were going over to Sam's to hang out with 'a couple of losers', but when we set off, he walked with us without further complaint. Sam, Jared and Paul were outside when we got there and Emily was cooking up the usual brunch. Embry and I took Quil in the house first and introduced him to her. Then we headed out the rear door to join the others.

As we ate Sam talked and I watched Quil's expression change gradually from disbelieving to interested and then finally to excited.

"I'm seriously going to turn into a wolf?" he said, a forkful of food halfway to his mouth, which had been hovering there for several minutes.

Embry and I grinned at him.

"Cool!" he finished. "So you're not all involved in some creepy cult thing then."

Sam raised an eyebrow and laughed. "No, it's easier to let people think that though."

The pack spent most of the day just hanging out and talking after that. Kim came over and she and Emily joined us when we went down to the beach and fooled about there and Quil fitted right in with everyone - even Paul. The next day the pack all phased while Quil watched with fascination and envy and then stayed behind at the house with the girls while we carried out a short patrol.

It was another week before he joined us properly. By Wednesday he was complaining of being too hot and we could all see it was imminent. We took him over to Sam's again on Friday night and in the absence of anything to yank his chain, he phased for the first time just by visualising it. It took him a while and he almost gave up, but then suddenly he was a chocolate brown wolf standing grinning at us, his tongue lolling out of his mouth and tail waving. Jared and Paul were already phased at that point so they could communicate with him. The rest of us shifted quickly and the first thing I heard was Quil's excitement.

_"Wow, I'm really a wolf! This is so cool!"_

From that day our patrols continued only at night now we had a full pack and the threat of vampires was close, frequently everyone staying at Sam's house to make things easier although there were some objections from unsuspecting parents - mainly Tiffany Call. Of course Dad and Quil's Gramps knew what was going on and Paul's Dad didn't much care, assuming he was out with girls, but Jared and Embry both had some explaining to do. It was only days before Embry's Mom was at our house, expressing her displeasure at Embry's absences in person rather than calling Dad. We both happened to be there at the time, having come home together straight after school for dinner.

Dad sent Embry and me to my room while he talked to Tiffany, but her raised voice came clearly through the walls as she shouted that enough was enough. A friend of hers who had a boy in some of our classes said we walked around school holding hands and kissing all the time, flaunting ourselves for anybody who cared to look and the fact that Embry had taken to staying out all night and making the excuse that he was at Sam's was the last straw. She was planning to make a move to Seattle to be closer to her sister and the man she had met there and she would be taking Embry with her, as soon as she could make the arrangements.

Embry's face turned white and he jumped off the bed and burst out of the room. I followed quickly as he marched into the living room.

"I'm not leaving!" he cried. "You can't make me go to Seattle!"

"I can make you do whatever I think is best! I'm your mother and you'll do as you're told!" Tiffany snapped.

"I'm sixteen in three weeks," Embry reminded her. "Then I can legally walk out, so I won't be going anywhere with you."

"So what do you intend to do? Stay here with your...gay _friend?"_ demanded Tiffany. "I've had enough of this, Embry. You'll do as I say!"

"And I've had enough!" Dad's voice drowned her out. "I think it's time you left, Tiffany. I won't have you in my house insulting my boy - and your own - over something no one has a problem with except for you. Bullying him isn't going to help matters and as Embry said - he'll soon be old enough to take responsibility for himself and whether he had the option of coming here or not, I'm guessing he'll still choose to stay behind. You've got to let him live his own life, Tiffany, or you're going to lose him."

"You already did that a long time ago," Embry added sadly. "You can't turn me into what you want me to be; this is who I am. I've already said that."

"And I always thought you'd come to your senses. You're fifteen, Embry, you don't know what you want yet."

"Yeah, I do. I want to be with Jacob; that's more important to me than anything else."

"More important than your own mother?"

"Yes." Tears filled his eyes and he blinked them away rapidly and sat down on the sofa. I joined him and took his hand, squeezing it firmly.

Tiffany sighed heavily and after a moment perched uncomfortably on the edge of a chair.

"Look, I'm going to Seattle as soon as I can arrange it. I don't want to leave you here, Embry, but it doesn't seem like I have any choice. I just hoped things would be different, that's all."

"They could be different, but it depends on you," Embry said. "I honestly don't know what the big deal is. Nobody even cares; no one at school says anything, not even the teachers. And Jacob's Dad has been more of a parent to me lately than you have."

"I know." Tiffany sighed again. "I'm sorry, Embry, I am. I guess I have these ideas in my head about how things are going to be and it takes a while to get used to them being different. My parents were very unforgiving, very narrow-minded - in fact everyone on the reservation was - and I grew up the same. I haven't made much effort to understand you, have I?"

Embry didn't answer.

"Perhaps some time apart will be good for both of you," Dad said. "You won't have to worry about Embry, Tiffany, I'll look after him. He's welcome here as long as he wants to stay. You could visit in a few weeks, or he could visit you."

Tiffany nodded slowly. "I think that's a good idea. I'm going to be staying with my sister for a few weeks until I get a job. Once I get settled and find a house to rent, maybe you could visit, Embry. It'll be the summer holidays by then, so you wouldn't miss school." She hesitated for a long moment. "And I guess...if you want...you could bring Jacob with you."

"You mean that?" Embry said.

"Yes, I do. I know I haven't been fair to you. You're just going to have to give me a little more time, but I'll get there. I don't want my past to affect you like it is doing. I left the Makah people sixteen years ago; I suppose I just haven't left their values behind." She got to her feet. "I'll leave you to it. Billy, I'm sorry I didn't listen to you before. I guess I didn't really want to accept that you were right. I haven't been a very good mother."

Much to my surprise, and Embry's, she pulled out a hankerchief and blew her nose. After a moment Embry let go my hand and got up, then went over and slid his arms around her. I glanced over at Dad and he grinned as Embry and Tiffany hugged each other before she gave him a determined smile and left.

"Well, that went better than I thought it was going to," Embry said, brushing away a tear.

I got up at once and went to him, gave him a quick hug and then led him to my room. I was glad his Mom was going to make more effort, but at the same time I was delighted that he was going to be staying with me. I longed to have him with me every minute and I was about to get my wish.

Over the next couple of days I helped Embry move his belongings from his house to mine, using the Rabbit to transport them. He didn't have too much stuff - mostly clothes and CDs and bits and pieces and it easily fitted in. Afterwards I couldn't help smiling every time I opened my wardrobe and saw his clothes in there hanging next to mine, or went to brush my teeth and saw his toothbrush standing in the cup with mine and Dad's.

Tiffany Call left La Push a week later after spending a few hours with Embry, promising to email and talk to him on the phone regularly and make more effort to accept us being together. She hadn't changed her mind about us visiting in the summer and it seemed like she and Embry did have a future as mother and son after all.

When Embry turned sixteen, Sam and Emily threw a party for him at their house and everyone spoiled him with gifts. His Mom sent him a card with a hundred dollars in it, Dad promised to pay for him to have a few driving lessons along with the time I was going to give to teaching him and the others all gave him CDs and books and things. My gift was a silver wolf pendant on a chain that I had a jeweller craft especially. Embry always wore a necklace of some sort and he loved it immediately and promised to remember to take it off before phasing.

Two days later, the trouble started. We had been stepping up the patrols now that danger was imminent and Sam had been speaking to Carlisle Cullen about how best to protect the people of Forks, in particular Bella who much to my horror was now at the centre of everything due to one of a trio of vampires having been killed to save her. The dead creature James, had a mate, Victoria, who aimed to get revenge on Bella and the Cullens and it would only be a matter of time before our training was called upon.

I talked to Bella that weekend and asked her bluntly to tell me about the Cullens, admitting that I already knew anyway. Because of the situation she was in, Sam had given me permission to tell her about the pack and she listened in silence while I related the whole story including the fact that I Imprinted on Embry. She believed all of it without question and I guessed it wasn't so hard when she was already so close to another type of monster. Once I had phased, moving vampires from horror stories to reality in my own mind hadn't been so great a leap either.

On Friday night as usual we all went to Sam's to patrol and afterwards most of the pack slept there for the last few hours of the night, except for Embry and me who preferred our own bed since we didn't get very much privacy in a house full of seven people. We returned again on Saturday morning for brunch and Kim arrived shortly after, although this time she had a friend in tow - actually a friend who looked very much like her.

"This is my cousin, Kate," she introduced and proceeded to point out Sam, Jared, Embry, Quil and me to the girl beside her. Paul was inside the house, bothering Emily and trying to snatch bits of food before she was ready to serve.

"Hey, Kate, nice to meet you," I said.

She smiled and nodded, her neat black bob of hair brushing her cheeks, brown eyes sparkling. She was a pretty girl and I didn't miss the immediate interest on Quil's face when he looked at her.

The others added similar sentiments to mine and Kim went on to explain that Kate was from Port Angeles. Her parents were going through an acrimonious divorce and thought it would be better for Kate to stay with her uncle and aunt for a while and then decide whether she preferred to live with her Mom or Dad.

Kim and Kate sat down and I went into the house with Embry to rescue the food from Paul and make sure at least some of it made it to the picnic table.

"Paul, you're an animal, wait until it's on the table at least," Emily was saying.

"You're missing the excitement anyway," Embry grinned. "Pretty girl outside - Kim's cousin."

"Where?"

Paul forgot the food and disappeared out of the door. I watched through the window as he went to the picnic table and dropped onto the bench opposite Kate. A grin stretched across his face and he stuck his hand out to shake hers.

"Embry, take this plate out, will you?" Emily said, shovelling bacon and hash browns onto a large platter.

"Wait...Em, come here."

I grabbed him and pulled him to my side, pointing out the window and wondering if he would see the same thing I did - Paul sitting there motionless, still holding Kate's hand, an odd goofy expression on his face, which seemed to have frozen like that.

"Do you think he just Imprinted?"

"Yeah." Embry laughed suddenly. "You looked just like that too."

"Quil will be disappointed, I think he liked the look of her," I said.

"Guys...food!" Emily interrupted.

Embry picked up the plate she had indicated and set off outside. I took the dish of eggs and rack of toast and followed. Paul was now grinning from ear to ear like a fool and Kate had a faintly bemused expression on her face. I guessed Sam would let Paul and Kim tell her all about us later. I imagined she would become a permanent fixture in La Push unless she rejected Paul's Imprint, which she didn't seem inclined to do. As the meal progressed, she kept meeting his eyes and smiling and Quil had begun to look resigned, concentrating on his food instead.

We all spent the rest of the day together, heading down to the beach after a while to swim and play football. By the end of the afternoon Paul and Kate were holding hands and exchanging little kisses, apparently oblivious to the rest of us, so it seemed their future had quickly been cemented.

When Kim and Kate left in the evening to go home, finally the conversation turned back to the pack and the situation with the vampires and as usual we patrolled for several hours that night. By the time we were heading back to Sam's, it was Paul who was having difficulty in controlling his thoughts for once, which surprised the rest of us given his usual silence on personal issues.

_"Kate...so beautiful...miss her...shit..." _

_"Yeah, now you're getting it,"_ I teased.

_"Fuck off, Jake. God I feel empty. Fucking shut up, Paul!" _He shook himself vigorously, apparently embarrassed, and bounded away ahead of us, leaving the rest of us laughing.

We all followed more slowly, ambling along looking forward to falling into our beds, when suddenly we were hit by a tremendous feeling of anguish. There were no actual words, no imagery, just pain and we all stopped still and waited, ears flattened, listening as pounding feet could be heard heading towards us.

_"What the hell?"_ Sam's voice said. He stepped between us, positioning himself at the front of the pack.

Suddenly out of nowhere a grey wolf appeared, slightly smaller than the rest of us, but lightningly fast. Seeing us, it veered to the left and raced onwards and as it vanished into the trees, we picked up on its thoughts.

_"Dad, I can't believe you're gone, oh God, what are we gonna do without you? Help me! Sam, you bastard, the one time I need you and you're with _her, _I'll never understand why you left me, I still can't damned well get over you! What the fuck am I? A wolf? DAD!"_

_"Oh, fuck," _Sam said, his body visibly shivering. _"It's Leah."_

_"Paul! Get back here!"_ Jared's voice instructed, but Paul was already trotting back towards us.

_"What happened to Harry Clearwater?" _Paul said. _"Did he die?"_

_"Heart attack!" _Leah's scream echoed into our heads.

_"We need to get after her. Sam, come on, man, get it together!"_

Jared as Beta took over the organisation of the rest of us and we turned as one and began to follow Leah. She was going flat out and we had to push ourselves to get near, but we were all bigger and stronger and despite having already patrolled for hours, we closed the gap and finally tracked her down in less than an hour. Her small grey wolf was cowering under a bush, projecting abject misery and desperation. After a moment's hesitation Sam went to her and the rest of us stayed back, closing our minds to anything we might hear.

_"God, poor Leah,"_ Embry said to me. _"I hope Seth is ok."_

_"Shit, poor kid, I'd forgotten about him,"_ Jared said.

We didn't have to wait long to find out about Seth. As if the shock of Harry dying and Leah phasing wasn't enough, a little while later a second lost wolf came into view, a similar size to Leah, sandy and black in colour with a sweet but terrified looking face. He was Seth, still not even fifteen years old and having phased after the upset of his Dad's death followed by seeing Leah turn into a wolf in front of him. He was shivering and crying and Jared and Embry went to comfort him, the rest of us hanging back rather than crowding him.

It was a very long night. We didn't leave the woods until dawn, by which time Leah and Seth at least understood what they were and had more or less accepted it, but they suffered horribly from the loss of their Dad and from guilt that they had both run away instead of staying with Sue Clearwater when she most needed them. They were keen to get home and we all headed back to La Push together.

The rest of us also felt Sam's pain and guilt although he didn't project words, only feelings. He still loved Leah in a way, but Emily was his life and he felt guilty for both of them. I realised how lucky I was and how uncomplicated my life was in comparison to theirs, with my Imprint beside me, knowing we would always be together.

When we reached the reservation, Embry and I said goodbye to the others at Sam's, phased back and pulled on shorts, then headed for home. Dad had just got up and was making himself some coffee. We filled him in briefly on what had happened and then went to bed to catch up on some much needed sleep.

We woke late in the day and returned to Sam's to find the rest of the pack already there, including Leah and Seth. Leah had apparently come to an uneasy truce with Emily and at least now understood the reason why Sam had broken up with her, although she was still bitter.

We patrolled together once again and Sam told us he had talked to Carlisle Cullen earlier before the rest of us had arrived. An attack was coming and finally we would be called upon to defend our land, our people and Bella - and of course the Cullens themselves who we would be fighting alongside. The next few days would involve training with the vampires to ensure we were all as ready as we could be to face an army of newborns intent on destroying the Cullens and getting to Bella herself. We had until Friday and then it would be a fight to the death.

On Thursday night, Embry and I had the house to ourselves. Charlie had taken Dad back to his place for a change of scene and since Bella wasn't home - visiting friends, Charlie had said although I knew that she was in fact under Edward's protection from now until after the battle - Dad intended to stay the night in Forks.

It was the first night Embry and I had actually been able to make proper use of my new bed, what with Dad usually being in the next room and the patrols keeping us out at night so often, so we intended to make the most of it. We retired early and made love long into the night, each knowing, although we didn't voice it, that there was a chance it could be the last night we would have together like this if things went badly the next day. I knew if it came to it I would protect Embry with my life, but together we were strong - so strong since I Imprinted on him - that I was confident we would have a good chance. We were our own small army standing against everything that dared threaten our happiness. With the pack now numbering eight and with seven vampires on the same side, we were a force to be reckoned with. But until then, we still had a few more hours before we had to leave the house and prepare ourselves for battle.

I lifted my hand from where it rested on Embry's stomach and touched the small silver wolf on its chain at his throat.

"You're my life," I murmured in his ear. "I hope you know that."

"I know. I love you, Jacob. Always."

He turned his head slightly and brushed his lips against mine. Then he rolled over and I wrapped both arms tighter around him, moulding myself to his back. We always slept that way - me wrapped around him, protecting him, like I would for the rest of my life.


End file.
